Seth Cochrane murdered my husband!

[Jean Poole]

Some of you will have known my husband Bill, a delightful and Godly man who occasionally posted here. Well, my husband was murdered this morning.

While going to the bank, my husband was accosted by Mr. Cochrane, butt-raped by him and his goth friends, and then hacked with an axe. We know it was him because a slack-jawed cripple ginger was seen running from the scene. Bill died before reaching the hospital.

I would also like to counter the unfounded accusations that I paid Mr.Cochrane to murder my dear husband. The $50,000 that was missing from our bank account (which my husband had gone to the bank to check about) was likely just a small clerical error.

YOU SHALL PAY, COCHRANE! My boys are hunting you as we speak.

[Star Finder]

Re: Seth Cochrane murdered my husband!

I feel most sorry for your loss, mamm.

Is it possible that he chose to be hacked to death rather than to be married?

Sad, but it happens.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Seth Cochrane murdered my husband!

I feel most sorry for your loss, mamm.

Is it possible that he chose to be hacked to death rather than to be married?

Sad, but it happens.

You just earned yourself a shiny new infraction, heathen sodomite. How dare you impugn the late Mr. Poole, especially at the peak of his widow's grief!

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Seth Cochrane murdered my husband!

I knew that little suck-up was no good! And now lucky Bill is in Heaven with Jesus! It's just so sad that he had to be violently raped and killed to get to meet the Lord! You don't suppose Bill was asking for it, do you? How was he dressed? He wasn't wearing any gold jewelry or pearls was he?

In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;

But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.
1 Timothy 2:8-9

I'm not sure if that whole modesty thing applies to True Christian™ men, but if he was dressed lasciviously, might there be some question about him getting into Heaven?

[Jean Poole]

Re: Seth Cochrane murdered my husband!

Of course not, Brother Aaron, he was dressed in his True Christian™ Pastor's Approved Suit, as always.

[Ebenezer Wright]

Re: Seth Cochrane murdered my husband!

Of course not, Brother Aaron, he was dressed in his True Christian™ Pastor's Approved Suit, as always.

I hope you received the 32 flowers I sent you as soon as I heard of poor Bill's fate. You will be in my prayers hourly.

[Mr. Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Seth Cochrane murdered my husband!

We know it was him because a slack-jawed cripple ginger was seen running from the scene.

I have serious questions about the physical condition of the late Bill Poole if he was chased down, raped and beaten to death by a "slack-jawed cripple." Perhaps Bill had some kind of physical deformity, too?

[Nobar King]

Re: Seth Cochrane murdered my husband!

Cochrane will be lucky to have a full tank of gas when the Poole boys catch up to him. Even with the price of gas falling that's still over fifty bucks. Does he have that kind of cash?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Seth Cochrane murdered my husband!

The prayers of our entire congregation goes out to you widow Poole, and your litter children too. The saddest part of all this is that your current baby, still in uteri, will never know his father.

Please know that everything is being done to ensure the swift capture of the demon spawn ginger Cockram. God's justice will be served. Everything happens for a reason.

[Bob4God]

Re: Seth Cochrane murdered my husband!

My dear, dear Mrs. Poole, you have my deepest sympathies. I am so sorry to hear of your loss!

How will you and your children survive now without a True Christian man to oversee the affairs of running a Christian home?

If you need anything at all, I'm sure the Ladies of Landover will be right there to help you. Meanwhile, I will pray for you, your children, and that Bobby Joe in security will quickly apprehend the villainous Mr. Cochrane.

[JennyD]

Re: Seth Cochrane murdered my husband!

I knew that little suck-up was no good! And now lucky Bill is in Heaven with Jesus! It's just so sad that he had to be violently raped and killed to get to meet the Lord!

I wonder if a Pastor could comment on this.

God is very specific in His Word that anyone found engaged in an act of man-on-man lustful sodomy, whether as the sodomizer or the sodomizee, is to be put to death and is an abomination.

Pastors, does that include innocent and Godly men who have been raped by evil Goth Gingers?

Or did this evil befall him due to some defect in his character, which went unnoticed by the incredibly busy and well-inflated (due soon, Jean?) Mrs. Poole?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Seth Cochrane murdered my husband!

I wonder if a Pastor could comment on this.

God is very specific in His Word that anyone found engaged in an act of man-on-man lustful sodomy, whether as the sodomizer or the sodomizee, is to be put to death and is an abomination.

Pastors, does that include innocent and Godly men who have been raped by evil Goth Gingers?

Or did this evil befall him due to some defect in his character, which went unnoticed by the incredibly busy and well-inflated (due soon, Jean?) Mrs. Poole?

It's quite likely that Jean's husband turned queer after being sodomized repeatedly by the fugitive Cockram boy. He's probably burning in hell right now, begging for satan to stop peeling his skin off and dipping him in scalding hot bile.

Did anyone ask the ambulance drivers what his last words were?

[Wide-Open]

Re: Seth Cochrane murdered my husband!

Did anyone ask the ambulance drivers what his last words were?

I did Pastor. His last words were "So I've been...one... all my life..." and then he keeled over. I'm not sure what to make of that.

[JennyD]

Re: Seth Cochrane murdered my husband!

I did Pastor. His last words were "So I've been...one... all my life..." and then he keeled over. I'm not sure what to make of that.

[Sister Noddy]

Re: Seth Cochrane murdered my husband!

Oooooh what a sad and sorry end to your miserable wretch of a husband, Sister Poole!

But if he was a homer all along, then you are well rid of him. My son-in-law says I'm too soft. He says I make excuses for people who don't deserve it after all. He says I haven't learned how to hate the ones Jesus hates. He says I need Godly True Christian™ practice hating the hell-bound.

But I can't help it, it's so sad to hear that people were lousy rotten sinners all along and are burning in hell now.

Condolences, Sister Noddy