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  • Larry Lee
    Predestinated Servant of Jesus Christ by the Will of God
    True Christian™ Theologian
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 4464
    #1

    Congratulations Levi! Bristol Palin will drop tomorrow!

    In just a few short hours Levi Johnston will have successfully bred another warrior for Christ. Levi's baby oven -- Bristol Palin -- is scheduled to drop Levi's heir on Saturday -- that's tomorrow, December 20, 2008. Congratulations, Levi!

    At this joyous time, I don't want to hear ANY nay saying about the Johnston baby being yet another welfare case with two unemployed, high-school drop-out parents. I'll hear none of that! The Lord will provide.

    Also, it's completely irrelevant that Grandma Johnston was arrested today and charged with six felony counts for drug possession. She's innocent, I tell you.

    Anyway, Congratulations, Levi. May the Lord bless you with a quiverful of male children.
    sigpic

    I loved Newt before Newt was invincible
    Tags: None
    • Larry Lee
      Predestinated Servant of Jesus Christ by the Will of God
      True Christian™ Theologian
      True Christian™
      • Sep 2006
      • 4464
      #2
      Re: Congratulations Levi! Bristol Palin will drop tomorrow!

      I just got off the phone with Governor Palin's Press Secretary's voicemail I'd wanted to know if Levi and his baby oven, Bristol, had selected a name for their new son, who will be born any time now. Unfortunately, I don't have an answer.

      So, maybe Landover should show some leadership and submit a list of suitable True Christian™ names for Levi to consider.

      Here are my suggestions:

      1. McCain Johnston

      and well, I can't think of anything better than that.

      And if, sadly, the child turns out to be female, she can be called McCaina.
      sigpic

      I loved Newt before Newt was invincible

        Comment

        • SayvedByTheLord
          Sinner Who Has Found the Truth©
          True Christian™
          • May 2007
          • 3151
          #3
          Re: Congratulations Levi! Bristol Palin will drop tomorrow!

          George Walker Johnston


          Leviticus 26:27-29

          27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
          28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
          29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.

            Comment

            • Pastor Ezekiel
              Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
               
              • Sep 2006
              • 78556
              #4
              Re: Congratulations Levi! Bristol Palin will drop tomorrow!

              Anything but "Ezekiel Flint Johnston." I've never even met the tramp girl.
              Who Will Jesus Damn?

              Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

              Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

              Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                Comment

                • SayvedByTheLord
                  Sinner Who Has Found the Truth©
                  True Christian™
                  • May 2007
                  • 3151
                  #5
                  Re: Congratulations Levi! Bristol Palin will drop tomorrow!

                  George Walker Johnston
                  or
                  Georgia Maisy Johnston


                  Leviticus 26:27-29

                  27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
                  28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
                  29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.

                    Comment

                    • Rev. M. Rodimer
                      Honorary True Christian™
                      Forum Member
                      • May 2008
                      • 13996
                      #6
                      Re: Congratulations Levi! Bristol Palin will drop tomorrow!

                      If it's a big, robust boy, how about "Jumbo Johnston", or "Moose Johnston"?
                      Bible boring? Nonsense!
                      Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                      You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                        Comment

                        • H. Montague Worthington
                          True Christian™ Entrepreneur
                          True Christian™
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 2716
                          #7
                          Re: Congratulations Levi! Bristol Palin will drop tomorrow!

                          Maverick Johnston

                          Rock Johnston

                          Clutch Johnston

                          Freedom Johnston

                          Pipeline Johnston

                            Comment

                            • Rev. M. Rodimer
                              Honorary True Christian™
                              Forum Member
                              • May 2008
                              • 13996
                              #8
                              Re: Congratulations Levi! Bristol Palin will drop tomorrow!

                              Steel Johnston

                              But wait, they're still not married!

                              Doesn't this mean the child will be . . . Oh, I can't say it . . . a ba- . . . a ba- . . .
                              Bible boring? Nonsense!
                              Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                              You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                                Comment

                                • Daisy Mae Johnson
                                  The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
                                  Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
                                  aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
                                  True Christian™
                                  • Sep 2006
                                  • 15708
                                  #9
                                  Re: Congratulations Levi! Bristol Palin will drop tomorrow!

                                  Daddy's Little Squirt.

                                  sigpic

                                  Tweet me Here
                                  My GODLY Bio Here

                                    Comment

                                    • Mistress Cookie
                                      Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
                                      True Christian™
                                      • Jul 2008
                                      • 6790
                                      #10
                                      Re: Congratulations Levi! Bristol Palin will drop tomorrow!

                                      Can she keep her legs together for just 6 more days (less than a week, mind you!) until December 25th?

                                      The implications are enormous!
                                      Attached Files

                                        Comment

                                        • Larry Lee
                                          Predestinated Servant of Jesus Christ by the Will of God
                                          True Christian™ Theologian
                                          True Christian™
                                          • Sep 2006
                                          • 4464
                                          #11
                                          Re: Congratulations Levi! Bristol Palin will drop tomorrow!

                                          Originally posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
                                          Daddy's Little Squirt.

                                          You have a point, Sister BTB.

                                          I was too harsh in only hoping the child was a boy. As long as it's healthy, that's all that matters.

                                          Knowing the Palin fondness for uncommon names, I think a Johnston girl would enjoy the lovely name

                                          Priapicina Johnston

                                          And of course, Priapicles Johnston, is a handsome name for a boy.
                                          sigpic

                                          I loved Newt before Newt was invincible

                                            Comment

                                            • Bob4God
                                              Moderator
                                              Arms Dealer for CHRIST
                                              Hands folded for Jesus
                                               
                                              • Apr 2008
                                              • 5274
                                              #12
                                              Re: Congratulations Levi! Bristol Palin will drop tomorrow!

                                              This is indeed a joyous occasion!

                                              I submit for consideration the following baby names:

                                              Bob Johnston

                                              Robert Johnston

                                              or, in case it's a female:

                                              Roberta Johnston

                                              Robin Johnston

                                              Praise GOD for new life!
                                              sigpic
                                              The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
                                              - Proverbs 15:3

                                              CHILDREN'S STORY: TIMMY ON TRIAL


                                              CHRISTIAN ADVICE AND MESSAGES OF HOPE! GOD'S GREATEST HITS!


                                                Comment

                                                • Pastor Ezekiel
                                                  Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                                                   
                                                  • Sep 2006
                                                  • 78556
                                                  #13
                                                  Re: Congratulations Levi! Bristol Palin will drop tomorrow!

                                                  What about Pocket Johnston?
                                                  Who Will Jesus Damn?

                                                  Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                                                  Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                                                  Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                                                    Comment

                                                    • Mistress Cookie
                                                      Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
                                                      True Christian™
                                                      • Jul 2008
                                                      • 6790
                                                      #14
                                                      Re: Congratulations Levi! Bristol Palin will drop tomorrow!

                                                      Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                                                      What about Pocket Johnston?
                                                      I love this one! It goes along with Gramma Palin's fondness for using beautiful, Godly, everyday objects we see around us as inspiration for baby names.

                                                      Clearly, a Pocket Johnson could hold a little pocket Bible!

                                                        Comment

                                                        • Pastor Isaac Peters
                                                          Senior Pastor
                                                          Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™
                                                          Always Biblically correct
                                                          True Christian™
                                                          • Sep 2006
                                                          • 10639
                                                          #15
                                                          Re: Congratulations Levi! Bristol Palin will drop tomorrow!

                                                          Ashdod Johnston
                                                          This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

                                                          Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance

                                                          sigpic

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