Happy Birthday Jesus!!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

I'd like to be the first to say Happy 2008th birthday to our Savior, Jesus Christ. If it wasn't for His birth (and temporary death), none of us would be Heaven-bound. He was undoubtedly the cutest little blond-haired, blue-eyed baby boy in Bethlehem that day.

Praise Jesus for being born on Christmas Day!!

[Wide-Open]

Re: Happy Birthday Jesus!!

Amen Pastor PRAISE! Way to go Jesus!

I think we should vote a law that makes it illegal for people to give birth on the 25th of December. They can either hurry up already on the 24th, or just wait a few hours until it's the 26th. That would show RESPECT and LOVE for Jesus!

[Rev. Carlton Green]

Re: Happy Birthday Jesus!!

Happy Birthday Jesus! You've been in our hearts for over 2,000 years, and hopefully another 2,000 years to come.

(Pssst. My wife left you some brandy and raisin cookies next to the fireplace! Feel free to help yourself when your ready to rapture yourself down here!)

[SUV]

Re: Happy Birthday Jesus!!

Awe, isn't He just the sweetest little things?



Well, I don't care if it rains or freezes,
Long as I have my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Through all trials and tribulations,
We will travel every nation,
With my plastic Jesus I'll go far

I don't care if it rains or freezes
As long as I've got my Plastic Jesus
Glued to the dashboard of my car,
You can buy Him phosphorescent
Glows in the dark, He's Pink and Pleasant,
Take Him with you when you're travelling far

I don't care if it's dark or scary
Long as I have the magnetic Family
Ridin' on the dashboard of my car
I feel I'm protected amply
I've got the whole damn Holy Family
Riding on the dashboard of my car

I don't care if it bumps or jostles
Long as I got the Twelve Apostles
Bolted to the dashboard of my car
Don't I have a pious mess
Such a crowd of holiness
Strung across the dashboard of my car

No, I don't care if it rains or freezes
Long as I have my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
But I think he'll have to go
His magnet ruins my radio
And if we have a wreck he'll leave a scar

Riding through the thoroughfare
With his nose up in the air
A wreck may be ahead, but He don't mind
Trouble coming, he don't see
He just keeps his eyes on me
And any other thing that lies behind

Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Though the sun shines on his back
Makes him peel, chip, and crack
A little patching keeps him up to par

When pedestrians try to cross
I let them know who's boss
I never blow my horn or give them warning
I ride all over town
Trying to run them down
And it's seldom that they live to see the morning

Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
His halo fits just right
And I use it as a sight
And they'll scatter or they'll splatter near and far

When I'm in a traffic jam
He don't care if I say Damn
I can let all sorts of curses roll
Plastic Jesus doesn't hear
For he has a plastic ear
The man who invented plastic saved my soul

Plastic Jesus, Plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Once His robe was snowy white
Now it isn't quite so bright
Stained by the smoke of the cigar God made Christ a Holy Jew
God made Him a Christian too
Paradoxes populate my car

Joseph beams with a feigned elan
From the shaggy dash of my furlined van
Famous cuckold in the master plan

Naughty Mary, smug and smiling
Jesus dainty and beguiling
Knee-deep in the piling of my van
His message clear by night or day
My phosphorescent plastic Gay
Simpering from the dashboard of my van

Plastic Jesus shelters me
For His head comes off, you see
He's hollow, and I use Him for a flask
Plastic Jesus, plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
Ride with me and have a dram
Of the blood of the Lamb
Plastic Jesus is a holy bar

God, I'm feeling so evolved
Drivin' with my problems solved
Proclaiming what I think of what we are
Riding home one foggy night,
With my honey cuddled tight,
I missed a curve and off the road we veered.
My windshield got smashed-up good,
And my darling graced the hood.
Plastic Jesus, He had disappeared.

I don't care if it rains or freezes
Long as I got my plastic Jesus
Riding on the dashboard of my car
He's the dude with the rusty nails,
Walks on water, don't need no sails
Riding on the dashboard of my car

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Happy Birthday Jesus!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS!!!

[Grace]

Re: Happy Birthday Jesus!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY JESUS

It's my Birthday today too!!!!

But nobody remembers my birthday

Not even Mommy.

[Talitha]

Re: Happy Birthday Jesus!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY JESUS

It's my Birthday today too!!!!

But nobody remembers my birthday

Not even Mommy.

YES!!!
Happy Birthday My Jesus

Who let my little brat in?

[Wide-Open]

Re: Happy Birthday Jesus!!

Who let my little brat in?

Can't you just slap her around teach her some discipline?

I didn't know it was your kid. Judging by her sig, I thought she was Sister M... oh well, let's not get there.

Genesis 1:16
And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also.

[Garman Warrior]

Re: Happy Birthday Jesus!!

Happy birthday Savior!Praise The Lord,Amen!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Happy Birthday Jesus!!

December 25th is also the birthday of one of America's unsung Heroes. THIS MAN exemplifies all that is Christ-like.


Happy birthday, Karl! Thanks for the platinum golf clubs, it was very generous. See you and the boys at Pebbple Beach in a few days.

[Petal]

Re: Happy Birthday Jesus!!

I'd like to be the first to say Happy 2008th birthday.

when i reads that i thawt it saids happy 208th birthdays, an i thawt "that not true, cuz decembers 25 not be Mr.Pastor Pistle birthdays an it not be Mr.Nobby King birthdays an it not be Mr.Hatchet Jobbie birthdays" or any other oldin fart birthdays. but then i reads it again, an i remembereds that today be lord Jesus birthdays he so old an schmelly but he still bootiful

but nows i worrieds that 2008 candles on his birthday cake gonna be so hot it be like hellfires in heavens, i not think that gonna be a very true christain birthdays for him pore lord Jesus

[Nobar King]

Re: Happy Birthday Jesus!!

Lots of fire. Jesus loves that.

[WickedWitch]

Re: Happy Birthday Jesus!!

*Rolls eyes* Yes, yes, Merry Xmas and all that, meanwhile my glass is empty again! Who do I have to smack to get a drink around here??

And why, Pastor Pistle did you think Petal deserved an infraction for Xmas? I mean, I like mine, 'cause it's all shiny, but I think she would've rathered catnip. Honestly, Pastor. *Gives Petal catnip*

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Happy Birthday Jesus!!

*Rolls eyes* Yes, yes, Merry Xmas and all that, meanwhile my glass is empty again! Who do I have to smack to get a drink around here??

I don't think "smack" is the word you usually use in that phrase, now is it Alllie.

Go peddle your degeneracy elsewhere, harlot. We don't do "trade" here.

[WickedWitch]

Re: Happy Birthday Jesus!!

I don't think "smack" is the word you usually use in that phrase, now is it Alie.

Go peddle your degeneracy elsewhere, harlot. We don't do "trade" here.

Would you quit it with the slut comments? You'd have a better chance of breaking into Fort Knox than getting lucky with me, buddy. I certainly haven't had enough to drink for that, and I doubt if I ever will.

And the fact still remains that no one has poured me more egg nog. Who's the bartender here, anyway?