[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: A Question About Spilled Seed Souls??

Brother WO that IS an excellent question.


Brothers I hate to be a pest, but no one has answered this question yet either

Only one sperm has a soul. It's the one that wins the race. The rest are just there to....egg him on.

[Bob4God]

Re: A Question About Spilled Seed Souls??

This is a disgusting habit! Do not go soft on the boy, beat him long and hard for this sin against nature! As an ex-youth pastor, I've seen the damage that M-ing can cause in the life of a boy, his family, friends and elders at the church!

[Wide-Open]

Re: A Question About Spilled Seed Souls??

Only one sperm has a soul. It's the one that wins the race. The rest are just there to....egg him on.

That makes sense Pastor, as otherwise, even having regular s** with your lawful True Christian wife - resulting in a new Christian Soldier - would be considered a mass murder as well. I mean, it's not like you can call the rest back now is it?

Pastor, do you think that my, eh, one of my re-absorbed thingies has or had a soul? I'm still highly confused about this, and haven't slept for days.

As for Sister BTB's question: I think they go to hell still looking as a sperm, but Satan has invented pacman-like egg critters that chase and bite it all day.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: A Question About Spilled Seed Souls??

That makes sense Pastor, as otherwise, even having regular s** with your lawful True Christian wife - resulting in a new Christian Soldier - would be considered a mass murder as well. I mean, it's not like you can call the rest back now is it?

Pastor, do you think that my, eh, one of my re-absorbed thingies has or had a soul? I'm still highly confused about this, and haven't slept for days.

As for Sister BTB's question: I think they go to hell still looking as a sperm, but Satan has invented pacman-like egg critters that chase and bite it all day.

Btb's question presumes all sperm have souls, but it's just the one. That's why it is a sin to spill them on the ground, for then GOD has to muck about looking for the right one to recycle and it's not easy, even for Him, because they are so small and sticky. If He doesn't find it in an instant, it DOES go to Hell where Satan's Pac-men are on the prowl! What an awful fate!

I, myself, was the victim of that very surgery when I was younger and the problem has tortured me all of my life. Apparently, when I explained to the Virgin Mrs. Pistle what would be expected of her as a Christian wife, and before she fully accepted the love of JESUS into her heart, she had some misgivings and put something in my evening cordial.

When I awoke, I had stitches in the vicinity of my GODLY stones and I worried that I would never be able to enter the house of the Lord....but she told me I had been sleepwalking and caught my package in the blender and she had called her half-brother, the Doktor, to the house to save me the embarassment.

I never thought to question her word until years later when it became obvious that we would not be blessed with the seventeen children I had mentioned to her on our wedding night. In fact, I don't question her word now, may she Rest in Peace, but it has since been explained to me that the blender was unusually selective. Almost as selective as that awful day when Godly Mrs. Pistle accidently fell from the apple tree into the woodchipper.

I have prayed over the situation and JESUS had unburdened my mind. God leaves one tiny soul in the pipeline 'on standby', just in case. It is my poor unborn son with whom I will be reunited in Heaven courtesy of a lady angel who will be supplied for that purpose. I dare not question the existence of lady angels, but I presume they are etherial and are merely allowed in for situations like this and then kicked to the curb.

I hope this relieves your heavy load, Brother.

[SayvedByTheLord]

Re: A Question About Spilled Seed Souls??

Almost as selective as that awful day when Godly Mrs. Pistle accidently fell from the apple tree into the woodchipper.

Was it something like this Pastor Al ?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: A Question About Spilled Seed Souls??

Was it something like this Pastor Al ?

No. It was a terrible accident involving a commercial-grade tree-chipper towed behind a huge 8-wheel John Deere Tractor. I told Mrs Pistle many times that she must have a care when climbing in trees looking for the most luscious apples for my pies. At that age it becomes difficult to balance a basket full of apples and climb around is a tree and I mentioned on several occasions that one can never know when the tractor brakes might release and run the chipper into a tree hard enough to dislodge someone climbing around. It has happened before to goths and wickedans who were stealing apples on the property.

But she didn't listen.