Tweet
As Oscar Night approaches this Sunday, I steel myself for the worst Hellywood has to offer. It’s long been known these awards aren’t handed out for talent, but for POLITICS. What this means is each year is a race to see who can deliver the sickest, vilest “goods”.
These are my predictions for the “winners”, the individuals that reached new lows.
BEST PICTURE: I haven’t seen any of the nominated films, so I will just pick Slumdog Millionaire for its name alone. It’s probably about a rap star. Or a minority figure who achieves high political office. In either case, disgusting.
BEST ACTRESS: Undoubtedly, Angelina Jolie, as discussed here. http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=19749 She plays a single mother who tries to unload her son on the public welfare system. If every sex partner she’s had in town votes, she’s in.
BEST ACTOR: Hard to say. By all rights it should be Sean Penn for flouncing and flaunting his way through Milk, as a minority figure who achieves high political office. But the bloated Mickey Rourke has lead such a depraved life for so very very long, that the voters will practically be voting for themselves in choosing him. That’s what I secretly think will happen. (Whatever actor played the heroic Nixon this year will not win, because there is no justice.)
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: I would say it will be the offensively voluptuous Penelope Cruz. Drawing on her own sordid life story, she plays a manic depressive artist who thrives upon entering a bisexual threesome. In other words, a shoo-in.
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Can there be any doubt? Kicking itself for not rewarding the Brokeback Mountain performance that turned him to homosexuality and drugs (and killed him), Hellywood will rush to crown the dead and rotting Heath Ledger in the Spiderman movie. If his male lover accepts for him, I will really lose it. (The actor who plays the brave soul who puts Harvey Milk out of his misery will not win, for the same reasons the actor playing Nixon will not win.)
I was going to write more, but now I’m too depressed.
Someone take over for me.
These are my predictions for the “winners”, the individuals that reached new lows.
BEST PICTURE: I haven’t seen any of the nominated films, so I will just pick Slumdog Millionaire for its name alone. It’s probably about a rap star. Or a minority figure who achieves high political office. In either case, disgusting.
BEST ACTRESS: Undoubtedly, Angelina Jolie, as discussed here. http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=19749 She plays a single mother who tries to unload her son on the public welfare system. If every sex partner she’s had in town votes, she’s in.
BEST ACTOR: Hard to say. By all rights it should be Sean Penn for flouncing and flaunting his way through Milk, as a minority figure who achieves high political office. But the bloated Mickey Rourke has lead such a depraved life for so very very long, that the voters will practically be voting for themselves in choosing him. That’s what I secretly think will happen. (Whatever actor played the heroic Nixon this year will not win, because there is no justice.)
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: I would say it will be the offensively voluptuous Penelope Cruz. Drawing on her own sordid life story, she plays a manic depressive artist who thrives upon entering a bisexual threesome. In other words, a shoo-in.
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Can there be any doubt? Kicking itself for not rewarding the Brokeback Mountain performance that turned him to homosexuality and drugs (and killed him), Hellywood will rush to crown the dead and rotting Heath Ledger in the Spiderman movie. If his male lover accepts for him, I will really lose it. (The actor who plays the brave soul who puts Harvey Milk out of his misery will not win, for the same reasons the actor playing Nixon will not win.)
I was going to write more, but now I’m too depressed.
Someone take over for me.
Yet another reason why God hates Australiens. I despise those wombat-fornicators so much I practically spew bile from my tearducts just thinking about them.
Comment