Prayers or a Lawyer? kinda long

[Vavoline Johnson]

Hmmm. I didn really know where to put dis but listen carefully cause it jist happened 5 minutes ago! Now please, dis is a true story!
You know when you be drivin down the road and you see lil crosses wif flowers and teddy bears on the side of the road? Well I'm driven down da highway and see one cross after anotha wif then names of the dead on em. Now I'm a thinkin, Ole Sam and I dont got the money for the "Baby Jeezus Golden Tears of Joy" cemetary here in Brevard County so I figure we kin be buried on the side of da street, too. Now here is da problem. I jist called the city hall right here in da Palm Bay an spokes to a Miz Smiley or somtin. I aked her bout da cost of a burial plot on the 95 highway. She done laughed at me and hung da phone up. Now, I is a busy lady and done have da time for dis crap so I called her agin and asked to speak to a person of authority, perhaps our good mayor seeing he has da time to send cyber drinks to all the pretty ladies on da facebook so maybe he cang ive me a quote.
See, I'm a wantin to know :

1: Iffen it's cheaper to be buried on the 95 in Miami or the little crappy city of Palm Bay
2: Iffen us colored folk has to be buried on a side street in a lousy neighborhood
She tole me NOBODY is buried on da side of the street and I said, "Oh yes day is" and she hung up agin!
Now I is a tax paying citizen and I want da same rights as everyboby else here.
What does a colored womin hafta do to be takin seriously?

[Nobar King]

Re: Prayers or a Lawyer? kinda long

I would worry that the road would be widened and my grave covered with asphalt.

[Vavoline Johnson]

Re: Prayers or a Lawyer? kinda long

I would worry that the road would be widened and my grave covered with asphalt.

Dat ain't da problem Mr Nobar, she been tellin me iffen I call her one mo time she gonna get me in trouble fo harrassin her. She nothing but a racist white lady who has no time for us colored peoples honest questions.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Prayers or a Lawyer? kinda long

If other people can do it, then so can you. Simple as that. Anyone who works for the government is an idiot and cannot be trusted. So dig a hole and bury. I suggest doing it late at night when it is cooler.

Now, don't go calling a fine white woman a racist. That is not polite. Maybe the problem was you did not listen. Conversation is a two way street.

[Faith +1]

Re: Prayers or a Lawyer? kinda long

Vavoline, your stereotyping of black ebonics is hilarious and very racist. Keep up God's work!

Oh, and to answer your question, those people got to be buried on the side of the road because they died there, assuming in such a gory horrific matter that they decided to bury the hole where they are and kick whatever remains they can find into it. Hope this answers your question n' helps you to secure your plot of land next to the highway very soon!

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Prayers or a Lawyer? kinda long

Vavoline, your stereotyping of black ebonics is hilarious and very racist. Keep up God's work!



Oh, and to answer your question, those people got to be buried on the side of the road because they died there, assuming in such a gory horrific matter that they decided to bury the hole where they are and kick whatever remains they can find into it. Hope this answers your question n' helps you to secure your plot of land next to the highway very soon!

Why are you such a hate-filled monster? Why must you insult poor Miss Vaseline? She can't help it if her English isn't up to your standard, God-mocker.

[Faith +1]

Re: Prayers or a Lawyer? kinda long

Why are you such a hate-filled monster? Why must you insult poor Miss Vaseline? She can't help it if her English isn't up to your standard, God-mocker.

Why are you misinterpreting me n' then replying to me with a hate-filled message accusing me of hate? Yes, there is such a thing as bad english, but then there's intentionally bad english, which Miss *Vavoline (not Vaseline you naughty beast! A bit of jungle fever have we? *wink*) is portraying, and she does so very well merely to be funny, and I appreciate her efforts in doing so.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Prayers or a Lawyer? kinda long

Miss *Vavoline (not Vaseline you naughty beast! A bit of jungle fever have we? *wink*)

Disgusting! You take a typographical error and turn it into miscegenation. You revolt me, Cartman-wannabe.

[Brother Lazarus]

Re: Prayers or a Lawyer? kinda long

Hmmm. I didn really know where to put dis but listen carefully cause it jist happened 5 minutes ago! Now please, dis is a true story!
You know when you be drivin down the road and you see lil crosses wif flowers and teddy bears on the side of the road? Well I'm driven down da highway and see one cross after anotha wif then names of the dead on em. Now I'm a thinkin, Ole Sam and I dont got the money for the "Baby Jeezus Golden Tears of Joy" cemetary here in Brevard County so I figure we kin be buried on the side of da street, too. Now here is da problem. I jist called the city hall right here in da Palm Bay an spokes to a Miz Smiley or somtin. I aked her bout da cost of a burial plot on the 95 highway. She done laughed at me and hung da phone up. Now, I is a busy lady and done have da time for dis crap so I called her agin and asked to speak to a person of authority, perhaps our good mayor seeing he has da time to send cyber drinks to all the pretty ladies on da facebook so maybe he cang ive me a quote.
See, I'm a wantin to know :

1: Iffen it's cheaper to be buried on the 95 in Miami or the little crappy city of Palm Bay
2: Iffen us colored folk has to be buried on a side street in a lousy neighborhood
She tole me NOBODY is buried on da side of the street and I said, "Oh yes day is" and she hung up agin!
Now I is a tax paying citizen and I want da same rights as everyboby else here.
What does a colored womin hafta do to be takin seriously?

I manged to come to an understanding of your post. Unfortunately Miss Vavoline, you can't be buried next to the highway. Those crosses you see are where people have been killed in traffic accidents. I am familiar with I-95 through Brevard County and indeed the median and roadside do resemble a rather crowded cemetary.

Perhaps you can find a joo funeral home. They may be able to bury you at a discount.

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus

[Vavoline Johnson]

Re: Prayers or a Lawyer? kinda long

I manged to come to an understanding of your post. Unfortunately Miss Vavoline, you can't be buried next to the highway. Those crosses you see are where people have been killed in traffic accidents. I am familiar with I-95 through Brevard County and indeed the median and roadside do resemble a rather crowded cemetary.

Perhaps you can find a joo funeral home. They may be able to bury you at a discount.

Yours in Christ
Brother Lazarus

Dear Mr Brother Lazurus, iffen you is as familar with Brevard County as you claim, then you knows their ain't no Joos there! Jist us Bapatits and we took ober da place. Is you a neighbor of Miz Lorri's?

[Vavoline Johnson]

Re: Prayers or a Lawyer? kinda long

Why are you misinterpreting me n' then replying to me with a hate-filled message accusing me of hate? Yes, there is such a thing as bad english, but then there's intentionally bad english, which Miss *Vavoline (not Vaseline you naughty beast! A bit of jungle fever have we? *wink*) is portraying, and she does so very well merely to be funny, and I appreciate her efforts in doing so.

Yo thinkin I is here fo yo entertainment? You needs to go to church, boy!