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Transcript from an earlier broadcast of "The Wash O'Hanley Show".
Folks, today in my daily review of internet news sources I came across this (http://www.choicesforliving.com/spir...s/angels-1.htm) awful tape recording of what is apparently angels singing during a church service. I will spare you the feat of having to listen to this by simply describing it. A monotoned woman repeating the words "Thank you Lord" for 10 minutes (the video actually cuts her off on either end which leads me to believe she went well into the night with this song) while playing a piano that would make an Autistic Piano Recital look like Mozart is apparently accompanied by the voices of heavenly angels.
According to the website over 25 members of the church heard these voices that just happened to get recorded on this carefully placed recorder, yet at no time during the 10 minute performance does anyone point out the angelic voices, the woman continues singing and everyone else continues to sing along. Had this happened at Landover Baptist, the man (since women aren't allowed to speak in church, as God demanded) would likely have stopped singing and playing the piano while all the members of the church began yelling "Jesus!" (it would sound more like "JeyyyZUS") at the top of their lungs. Some of the members would close their eyes and put their hands up in the air before fainting and Pastor Deacon Fred would run out from the back room where he was preparing his speeches for the day to alert us that this is a sign to give more money to the church to help fund a hot tub for the tithers in the sky boxes.
Needless to say, I am not questioning the existence of angels. I am, however, questioning why God would send angels to any church other than Landover Baptist, his favorite church. With that in mind it is obvious that this is a forgery by a second-rate horse shed passing as a church as a means to get more members to join them. Never before have I seen such shameless behavior from a church.
I talked with Pastor Deacon Fred and we decided that the only appropriate actions to take regarding this fake angel recording and obvious ploy to steal money from less educated, church going cow-people is to raise funds for Landover Baptist to help get the truth out. If God has something to say he will say it to us and it is utterly disgusting that these people would falsify such things as a means to make money. Pastor Deacon Fred told me (for immediate release on my show this afternoon), that prices for lower-level tickets to church have been raised an additional $5 each and that all members of the church will be encouraged to add an extra, mandatory, $10 to their love offerings until this threat can be subdued. Prayer teams have been working around the clock praying to God to send angels to our church to speak to us on audio recording and helicopters were dispatched this morning and are headed to Maryland now, lead by Pastor Vince D'Angleo to "Whack these goons in the labonza".
I will keep you posted.
Folks, today in my daily review of internet news sources I came across this (http://www.choicesforliving.com/spir...s/angels-1.htm) awful tape recording of what is apparently angels singing during a church service. I will spare you the feat of having to listen to this by simply describing it. A monotoned woman repeating the words "Thank you Lord" for 10 minutes (the video actually cuts her off on either end which leads me to believe she went well into the night with this song) while playing a piano that would make an Autistic Piano Recital look like Mozart is apparently accompanied by the voices of heavenly angels.
According to the website over 25 members of the church heard these voices that just happened to get recorded on this carefully placed recorder, yet at no time during the 10 minute performance does anyone point out the angelic voices, the woman continues singing and everyone else continues to sing along. Had this happened at Landover Baptist, the man (since women aren't allowed to speak in church, as God demanded) would likely have stopped singing and playing the piano while all the members of the church began yelling "Jesus!" (it would sound more like "JeyyyZUS") at the top of their lungs. Some of the members would close their eyes and put their hands up in the air before fainting and Pastor Deacon Fred would run out from the back room where he was preparing his speeches for the day to alert us that this is a sign to give more money to the church to help fund a hot tub for the tithers in the sky boxes.
Needless to say, I am not questioning the existence of angels. I am, however, questioning why God would send angels to any church other than Landover Baptist, his favorite church. With that in mind it is obvious that this is a forgery by a second-rate horse shed passing as a church as a means to get more members to join them. Never before have I seen such shameless behavior from a church.
I talked with Pastor Deacon Fred and we decided that the only appropriate actions to take regarding this fake angel recording and obvious ploy to steal money from less educated, church going cow-people is to raise funds for Landover Baptist to help get the truth out. If God has something to say he will say it to us and it is utterly disgusting that these people would falsify such things as a means to make money. Pastor Deacon Fred told me (for immediate release on my show this afternoon), that prices for lower-level tickets to church have been raised an additional $5 each and that all members of the church will be encouraged to add an extra, mandatory, $10 to their love offerings until this threat can be subdued. Prayer teams have been working around the clock praying to God to send angels to our church to speak to us on audio recording and helicopters were dispatched this morning and are headed to Maryland now, lead by Pastor Vince D'Angleo to "Whack these goons in the labonza".
I will keep you posted.
I give it TWO THUMBS DOWN.
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