hey, I'm back from my trip.

[virginWhore]

Dad got a hair across his ass, and piled us all onto a plane and took us on holiday....to JERUSALEM.


He's such a kook.


I pretty much had my mornings to myself, so I went out and about, and did a little missionary work for Jesus.


It was SO COOL. I took my payment in shekels, just like they did back when Jesus himself walked those streets. It reminded me of playing monopoly, with play money.


So anyway, I was able to bring my message to A LOT of israeli guys...apparently they don't really have a lot of, er, practice, so they're all like a bunch of schoolboys, who don't exactly know how to um, control their seed. Ten count? occasionally got that far!

Another thing I noticed, was how almost every single one of them had such cute little wigglers! Emphasis on the little.

Is that anti-semitic? I wouldn't want to diss someone by spoiling their secret.

Its funny really...seems that cultures that pu**y-whip their men, the guys tend to have little wigglers.

Wouldn't that prove that darwin was right? pu**y whipped guys end up with small tallywackers? or maybe its the other way around? guys with pencils in their pockets end up getting pushed around by their mothers/wives?

anyway, I was just curious.


vw

[virginWhore]

Re: hey, I'm back from my trip.

Finally, I had a few quiet moments to lay down with my bible, and I think I know why the Israeli boys were so "quick to the trigger".I never imagined that the old testament wouild instruct jews to toss their cookies as fast as possible, but this is pretty clear!:

Exodus 12:11
And thus shall ye eat it; with your loins girded, your shoes on your feet, and your staff in your hand; and ye shall eat it in haste: it is the LORD's passover.

...and, I guess they're SUPPOSED to be pu**y whipped:

Leviticus 26:26
And when I have broken the staff of your bread, ten women shall bake your bread in one oven, and they shall deliver you your bread again by weight: and ye shall eat, and not be satisfied.


So there you have it I guess. Some of this stuff is quite hard to figure out. But, It definitely isn't hard to figure out how Jesus loves me:

Psalm 23:4
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Someday Jesus will point out my Husband, and through him I can feel Jesus' comfort and his staff and rod. Oh, blessed day, when will you come?

vw

[virginWhore]

Re: hey, I'm back from my trip.

sorry, didn't know about the bad word thing. I would have changed it myself but I can't see how to change a post after I hit send.


vw

[Father Maurice Lester]

Re: hey, I'm back from my trip.

...Someday Jesus will point out my Husband, and through him I can feel Jesus' comfort and his staff and rod. Oh, blessed day, when will you come?

Have you considered a vocation with the Catholic Church, the Church of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, built upon the rock of St. Peter as Jesus himself decreed?

We have a number of openings waiting to be filled and a women with your passion would be a fine asset to those of us who have dedicated ourselves to the selfless work left to our charge by Jesus himself.

In effect you would be married to Jesus and thusly forever filled with the love and spirit of The Lord.

You can start by working as an Altar girl...we actually have available positions in my very Parish! Please feel free to contact me for more detailed information.



Bless you, my Capistrano Cuckoo,
Father Mo

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: hey, I'm back from my trip.

Have you considered a vocation with the Catholic Church, the Church of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, built upon the rock of St. Peter as Jesus himself decreed?

We have a number of openings waiting to be filled and a women with your passion would be a fine asset to those of us who have dedicated ourselves to the selfless work left to our charge by Jesus himself.

In effect you would be married to Jesus and thusly forever filled with the love and spirit of The Lord.

You can start by working as an Altar girl...we actually have available positions in my very Parish! Please feel free to contact me for more detailed information.



Bless you, my Capistrano Cuckoo,
Father Mo

There are just three problems here "father" Mole:

#1) She's a female, and I know that you and your degenerate "brethren" prefer boys to molest.

#2) She's clearly over 14, so far too old for you dress-wearing perverts.

#3) I think her....special manner of expressing her love of Jesus...is the same one that YOU perverts indulge in. You'd both be competing for the same meat.

Wouldn't it be easier to just give up your ring-kissing ways and embrace the one True Church, Landover Baptist?

[virginWhore]

Re: hey, I'm back from my trip.

In effect you would be married to Jesus

That has a certain appeal, but I think my destiny is described in:
Jeremiah 29:6
Take ye wives, and beget sons and daughters; and take wives for your sons, and give your daughters to husbands, that they may bear sons and daughters; that ye may be increased there, and not diminished.

I think its my duty to accept a flesh and blood husband within my loins and deliver him sons and daughters, to spread the word and light of the lord.

Bless you, my Capistrano Cuckoo,
Father Mo

What do you take me for, a llama?


vw

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: hey, I'm back from my trip.

What do you take me for, a llama?


vw

You mean you aren't one? Dang, that's two bucks I owe someone. *snicker*

[OnYourKnees]

Re: hey, I'm back from my trip.

What do you take me for, a llama?

I wouldn't take you for FIVE llamas AND a herd of alpacas, Dolly!