Re: Share with us how Jesus has touched you.

Oh...so..you didn't want me to tell anyone,then? Oops.

He is kind of cute though isn't he.

Re: Share with us how Jesus has touched you.

At one point I thought Jesus touched me on my tonsils...but I realize now that that was stupid.


SONS of ADAM touch me on my tonsil, jesus touches me everywhere.



EVERYWHERE.


vw

Even I wouldn't have gone that far. You must have some balls saying that in here.

[virginWhore]

Re: Share with us how Jesus has touched you.

At one point I thought Jesus touched me on my tonsils...but I realize now that that was stupid.


SONS of ADAM touch me on my tonsil, jesus touches me everywhere.



EVERYWHERE.


vw

[lilith]

Re: Share with us how Jesus has touched you.

You are confusing your daily fantasies with reality again, harlot. I am not, nor have I ever been, enlisted with the Ukranian Navy.

Oh...so..you didn't want me to tell anyone,then? Oops.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Share with us how Jesus has touched you.

But Zeke,you said you LIKED that!

You are confusing your daily fantasies with reality again, harlot. I am not, nor have I ever been, enlisted with the Ukranian Navy.

[lilith]

Re: Share with us how Jesus has touched you.

The things that YOU do with them are.

But Zeke,you said you LIKED that!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Share with us how Jesus has touched you.

What,navels are sinful now?

The things that YOU do with them are.

[lilith]

Re: Share with us how Jesus has touched you.

She's OBVIOUSLY talking about her heart, foul wretch! Always with your mind on sin, right Lilith?

What,navels are sinful now?

Who knew!

[SUV]

Re: Share with us how Jesus has touched you.

I have been wanting to contribute to this thread, but Pastor told me to never again tell the story of HOW THE MESSYCAN JESUS CAME TO THE DOOR, DIRTY FROM GARDENING, AND I THOUGHT IT WAS THE REAL JESUS, ALL DIRTY AND SWEATY FROM CARRYING HIS CROSS UP HIS HILL AGAIN AND I MISTAKENLY, IN CHRISTIAN LOVE, OFFERED HIM A SHOWER AND THEN GOT INTO THE SHOWER WITH HIM.

Because He sooo needed a good scrub-a-dub-dubbing....

But I cannot disObey Pastor so perhaps some other time.

[Bobby-Joe]

Re: Share with us how Jesus has touched you.

If you love Jesus then you are a necrophiliac (because you love someone who's dead) and a homosexual (Jesus was a man).

I guess Peter you obsession with sex must arise from having a name frequently used as a euphemism for tallwaycker. No Peter; a Christian love for Jesus is pure and depravity free. God does not need to sex or any vile seed spilling to create. No, when Jesus hold us in HIS loving hands and lets HIS power flow into us we can be sure Our Risen Savior there is nothing homer about it.

Peter, friend, won’t you look into Jesus kind blue eyes and take HIS soft but strong hand?

[OnYourKnees]

Re: Share with us how Jesus has touched you.

If you love Jesus then you are a necrophiliac (because you love someone who's dead) and a homosexual (Jesus was a man).

So I take it you hate your father and your grandfather?

You're an imbecile. Nobody said anything about having relations with Jesus!

Oh, and what part of "resurrection" don't you understand?

[Peter]

Re: Share with us how Jesus has touched you.

How can you not love Jesus? Do you know that if you do not accept Jesus into your heart you will be damned to burn in hell for an eternity?

If you love Jesus then you are a necrophiliac (because you love someone who's dead) and a homosexual (Jesus was a man).

[Warrior in Christ]

Re: Share with us how Jesus has touched you.

I'm sure there must be some christian type reason as to why JC "touched" you in the area of your navel?

She's OBVIOUSLY talking about her heart, foul wretch! Always with your mind on sin, right Lilith?

[lilith]

Re: Share with us how Jesus has touched you.

I'll show you on the doll where HE touched me



Lve, Sister Thumper

I'm sure there must be some christian type reason as to why JC "touched" you in the area of your navel?

[Warrior in Christ]

Re: Share with us how Jesus has touched you.

Well God Bless you, Brother Larry. Jesus knows that you aren't the first one to suggest that I go join the front lines in iraquistan, slaying sand nigras for Christ.

I expressed my interest in that robust and manly lifestyle to my uncle "Rummy" (Donald Rumsfeld, former Secretary of War for GW, but he reassured me that my contributions at home, pastoring to the flock in my gentle manner, are doing far more to destroy moohamadism than anything I might do in the desert. Oh what an argument we had about that! After several moments, I finally gave in to my distinguished uncle's wishes.

They do have a need for....older combat soldiers like you, Brother Larry. It seems that the terrorists are shocked by soldiers with...silver hair, and prize their scalps quite highly. I'll go ahead and call uncle "Rummy" for you right now. I'm certain that accommodations can be made quite quickly.

Well certainly someone that is as in tune with God like you doesn't need to do much more than you're doing. I have come to understand that the role of a pastor is a very dangerous and demanding role... I do not even think I could do the job. All I can do is what God has called me to do, and that involves defending his Favorite Nation, America.