[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: How Old Do Your Sons Have to be Before Stoning Them?

Lord knows, I have asked and not received. Afterall, Dick Cheney is still alive.

Vice President Dick Cheney is one of God's finest servants! Pastor Deacon Fred plays golf with him on a regular basis. Wishing death upon his person is not only punishable by a long stretch in Leavenworth, it'll also get you a reservation in the deepest pit in hell.

Why you liberal (false) Christians are so full of hatred is beyond me.

[Brother Enoch]

Re: How Old Do Your Sons Have to be Before Stoning Them?

But in all seriousness, if a 6 year old fulfills the verse and qualifies for stoning by being a drunkard, it's your fault as a parent.

Listen, you.

I DO NOT appreciate being plagiarized!

From the third post in this thread:

I think disobedient children are the fault of libral wackjobs raising their kids to be snotty little brats. It's those parents who should be stoned, IMHO.

Okay...
Calming down.


Just do not let this happen again.

[Samuel Coleridge]

Re: How Old Do Your Sons Have to be Before Stoning Them?

I have never prayed for anything and not receivede it since the day I was saved.

Lord knows, I have asked and not received. Afterall, Dick Cheney is still alive.

[F. Nietzsche]

Re: How Old Do Your Sons Have to be Before Stoning Them?

I would think that 6 would be a bit young for a kid to get his hands on some 'herbal supplements,' to be brutally honest. When they figure out how to homegrow, or get it themselves, and have a bowl or spliff ready to blaze, then they're ready to get stoned.


But in all seriousness, if a 6 year old fulfills the verse and qualifies for stoning by being a drunkard, it's your fault as a parent.

Happily, however, civilized countries ban that sort of thing.

[WWJDnow]

Re: How Old Do Your Sons Have to be Before Stoning Them?

Try to sit the kid down and tell them what they did is bad in a rational way. If they don't get it after that, some form of punishment may be required. But certainly, they don't need to be stoned!

Once President Sarah Palin finishes the job that the great George W. Bush started and replaces the Constitution with Biblical law, we'll all sit our kids down and, in a rational way, explain that if they disobey, they will be stoned to death just like Johnny down the street.

One way or another, children will not be disobedient for long.

I suspect you guys are trying to help, but since you obviously aren't the Christians I was originally asking about this topic, you have been somewhat disruptive.

What, Flat Lander, don't you believe in free speech?

Just kidding.

Please, try to learn more about being a good Christian before giving advice. This is the only advice I have given since I've been here. I've been busy trying to GET good advice from these good Christians, and your comments although I sure well intentioned, were not all that helpful. Please consider reading the Bible from cover to cover. Maybe tonight.

I really thought you were playing for the Devil's team, but maybe there IS hope for you yet.

I didn't know you could pray for sarcasm. I really do learn something new here several times per day!

And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive. Matthew 21:22

I have never prayed for anything and not receivede it since the day I was saved.

[Flat Lander]

Re: How Old Do Your Sons Have to be Before Stoning Them?

I'm praying that you meant this to be sarcastic.

I didn't know you could pray for sarcasm. I really do learn something new here several times per day!

[Nobar King]

Re: How Old Do Your Sons Have to be Before Stoning Them?

Now, my mind will be poisoned for a while, but I'll do a special dance I know to clear my head. During the dance shadows are cast on the wall from the candle on the head of the Budha in the middle of the room. This was such a shocking experience, I might have to dance all night. I just hope I have enough candles.

I'm praying that you meant this to be sarcastic.

[Brother Enoch]

Re: How Old Do Your Sons Have to be Before Stoning Them?

it would do me good to know what I'm talking about.

QFT

[Emil Sledge]

Re: How Old Do Your Sons Have to be Before Stoning Them?

Flatlander, you need to know about this list right away and be sure to read the whole thread. It could save your eternal life!

Demons are nothing to mess around with. They can cost you everything and they hope to!

[Lola Handcock]

Re: How Old Do Your Sons Have to be Before Stoning Them?

Oh, yeah, I forgot about the candles thing. Thanks for reminding me.

I have a flashlight I can use.

Gotta remember that, "candles attract demons" "candles attract demons" . . .

I'm sure I got it now. Thanks again for reminding me.

Hey, is this why sometimes children who have candles on their birthday cakes sometimes can't blow them all out at once? Because demons show up and keep them from blowing some of them out? Also, are the demons responsible for their terrible behavior after being pumped full of cake, frosting, candy, ice cream, more frosting, sugary soda pop, and more frosting, or is it something else?

Satan and his minions are playing with the candles ,by keeping them burning more demons are attracted...

the behavior problem is called a sugar buzz....Al tho I will check my DEMON hand book to make sure that sugar is OK.


Don't worry flat lander we always have your back.

[Flat Lander]

Re: How Old Do Your Sons Have to be Before Stoning Them?

NO CANDLES

Candles
do not use them,use oil lams,battery lamps or electricity made from coal,or nuclear fuel.
do not use wind made electricity(Satan controls the wind.) Demons do not like electricity made from nuclear fuel,its makes them glow green!

CANDELS ATTRACT DEMONS

Oh, yeah, I forgot about the candles thing. Thanks for reminding me.

I have a flashlight I can use.

Gotta remember that, "candles attract demons" "candles attract demons" . . .

I'm sure I got it now. Thanks again for reminding me.

Hey, is this why sometimes children who have candles on their birthday cakes sometimes can't blow them all out at once? Because demons show up and keep them from blowing some of them out? Also, are the demons responsible for their terrible behavior after being pumped full of cake, frosting, candy, ice cream, more frosting, sugary soda pop, and more frosting, or is it something else?

[Sin boy]

Re: How Old Do Your Sons Have to be Before Stoning Them?

Truth420 and Shaunyboy,

I suspect you guys are trying to help, but since you obviously aren't the Christians I was originally asking about this topic, you have been somewhat disruptive. I think I have an answer to my original question, and unless I've misunderstood what the others were saying, it is I should wait until my sons are at least 7 before stoning them. That's at least four more months for one of them. I'm going to be keeping a list of everything he does wrong between now and his seventh birthday, and I'm going to be collecting rocks, too, just in case he reaches for my toaster waffle after he turns seven.

Please, try to learn more about being a good Christian before giving advice. This is the only advice I have given since I've been here. I've been busy trying to GET good advice from these good Christians, and your comments although I sure well intentioned, were not all that helpful. Please consider reading the Bible from cover to cover. Maybe tonight.

May the Lord God of Heaven bless you with cool stuff, like suspenders.

Hey, suspenders are cool, man. I'm sure I got some lying around my house somewhere...

And it's fine that you didn't like my advice, I was only trying to offer my knowledge to the fray, see if it could benefit you in any way.

But, like I said before, I can't force you to raise your kids a certain way. I'm opposed to stoning, but that's just me. I hope you consider my words at least a little bit when parenting your kids, man.

Oh,and I might skim over the KJV1611 Bible in a Year that they have here at Landover- since it would do me good to know what I'm talking about.

[Lola Handcock]

Re: How Old Do Your Sons Have to be Before Stoning Them?

Thank you, Rev. Jim for filtering out his filthiness. I had the misfortune of actually reading it before you got it filtered. Now, my mind will be poisoned for a while, but I'll do a special dance I know to clear my head. During the dance shadows are cast on the wall from the candle on the head of the Budha in the middle of the room. This was such a shocking experience, I might have to dance all night. I just hope I have enough candles.

NO CANDLES

Candles
do not use them,use oil lams,battery lamps or electricity made from coal,or nuclear fuel.
do not use wind made electricity(Satan controls the wind.) Demons do not like electricity made from nuclear fuel,its makes them glow green!

CANDELS ATTRACT DEMONS

[Flat Lander]

Re: How Old Do Your Sons Have to be Before Stoning Them?

Truth420 and Shaunyboy,

I suspect you guys are trying to help, but since you obviously aren't the Christians I was originally asking about this topic, you have been somewhat disruptive. I think I have an answer to my original question, and unless I've misunderstood what the others were saying, it is I should wait until my sons are at least 7 before stoning them. That's at least four more months for one of them. I'm going to be keeping a list of everything he does wrong between now and his seventh birthday, and I'm going to be collecting rocks, too, just in case he reaches for my toaster waffle after he turns seven.

Please, try to learn more about being a good Christian before giving advice. This is the only advice I have given since I've been here. I've been busy trying to GET good advice from these good Christians, and your comments although I sure well intentioned, were not all that helpful. Please consider reading the Bible from cover to cover. Maybe tonight.

May the Lord God of Heaven bless you with cool stuff, like suspenders.

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Re: How Old Do Your Sons Have to be Before Stoning Them?

Flat Lander, actually it wasn't me, but the JesOS 7(tm) Purity Filter installed. When it comes across any form of profanity, it automatically access the moderation tools and replaces the words with a nicer alternative. In fact, I was AFK after I made that post...I had to run to the kitchen to grab some more chocolate donuts.