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Is it too late for me to be saved?
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Re: Let's just say that, hypothetically, I want to convert.
With all due respect, I do not see the point of spending time discussing a "hypothetical" conversion to True Christianity™ when there are so many other people on these boards and elsewhere who really do want to convert.
They are the ones who really need our help, and attention. -
Re: Let's just say that, hypothetically, I want to convert.
What if part of me deep down really wants to be saved, though?Comment
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Re: Let's just say that, hypothetically, I want to convert.
1. Pray the sinners prayer. Something like this will do as a start.
Dear Lord in Heaven, I know that I have sinned against you and I am not worthy to lick Your sandal strap. My evil thoughts and feelings separate me from You. I beseech You to forgive this worthless sinner. Please don't strike me dead here and now. I humbly beg you to help me avoid sinning again. I believe that your Son, Jesus Christ who is You, died temporarily for my sins. He was raised from the dead, is alive, and hears my prayers. I beg Jesus/You to become my Savior and the Lord of my life, to imprint Your Word into my mind so I don't have to think anymore. Please send your Holy Spirit to make me obey You and to make me feel guilty when I sin. My greatest purpose in life is to follow your example even though that's impossible, as you never sinned and I am lower than a dung beetle. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.
2. Set up a generous tithing agreement with a True Christian™ church. The Lord loves a cheerful giver. I can't stress this part enough.
3. You will need to be baptised by a True Christian™ Pastor. This can all be accomplished for a nominal fee. You could get it done for free from someone you don't know is saved or not, but your Salvation is not guaranteed.
What say you, harlot? Shall we pray together?Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.
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Re: Let's just say that, hypothetically, I want to convert.
I'm not a harlot, Mr. Jones. I don't appreciate the name-calling.Originally posted by Levi Jones View Post
Also, I have no money to give to a church or to a pastor.Comment
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Re: Let's just say that, hypothetically, I want to convert.
You'll also need to get rid of any bad influences in your life. I would recommend calling that boy you are whoring yourself out to to tell him the good news.
If your parents have a problem with it, you should have already cut them off anyway.
Luke 14:26
If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.
Your new family in Christ is waiting for you.Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.
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Re: Let's just say that, hypothetically, I want to convert.
This is news to me. What boy is it that I'm whoring myself out to, and why am I unaware of such an occurrence? :OOriginally posted by Levi Jones View PostComment
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Re: Let's just say that, hypothetically, I want to convert.
Since you say so, gosh I apologize. I just assumed you were a harlot based on your avatar. I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding.Originally posted by Skitty View Post
As for money, I'm sure we can find you some work. The Whitfords are usually looking for help. As I understand, Sister Mary Maria likes to hire young white women to keep the house clean.
Again, shall we pray?Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.
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Re: Let's just say that, hypothetically, I want to convert.
I accept your apology. I'm glad to see you admit your mistake. c:Originally posted by Levi Jones View PostSince you say so, gosh I apologize. I just assumed you were a harlot based on your avatar. I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding.
As for money, I'm sure we can find you some work. The Whitfords are usually looking for help. As I understand, Sister Mary Maria likes to hire young white women to keep the house clean.
Again, shall we pray?
I appreciate your offer very much, but it's doubtful that I'm anywhere near this Sister Mary Maria. I live in northern California.
I'll give it a shot, I suppose.Comment
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Re: Let's just say that, hypothetically, I want to convert.
Well, that's a bold statement!Originally posted by Skitty View Post
Why are you here to troll us? Why don't you just accept Jesus and be assured a golden mansion in Paradise?Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.
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Re: Let's just say that, hypothetically, I want to convert.
I'm not here to troll you; I'm here to talk with you.Originally posted by Levi Jones View PostWell, that's a bold statement!
Why are you here to troll us? Why don't you just accept Jesus and be assured a golden mansion in Paradise?Comment
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Re: Let's just say that, hypothetically, I want to convert.
Your wanting to convert is pretty much irrelevant.
YouNEED to convert.
.Jud 1:15 To execute judgment upon all, and to convince all that are unGodly among them of all their unGodly deeds which they have unGodly committed, and of all their hard [speeches] which unGodly sinners have spoken against him.Comment
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Re: Let's just say that, hypothetically, I want to convert.
Mhmm, so I've heard. Well, feel free to convert me. Convince me that your way is the way to God. My mind is open to you.Originally posted by Oakland "Reb" Griner View PostComment
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Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.
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Re: Let's just say that, hypothetically, I want to convert.
Your mind is infested with demons little girl, and snotty ones. This is a Christian forum, not your playpen. Accept Jesus now or take a hike. There is nothing "hypothetical" about Salvation(r)!Originally posted by Skitty View Post
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!Comment
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