Proof that prayer works!

[Brother Temperance]

Friends, as you know, I have the misfortune to have been born in a savage and backwards island known as England, where I peaceably live out my days awaiting Christ's return. While I try and take the evils of the secular world in a relaxed and uncomplaining fashion, there are things that get me down. For one thing, the Brits seem to delight in giving places the ungodliest names they can think of. I have often prayed to God to send my countrymen a sign, and yesterday my prayers were answered in the most glorious fashion imaginable! A mighty rain swept over the city of Sheffield, and two egregious sinners were called home to judgement! (The other one was only 14 - you're never too young to be killed by Jesus!)
But it's the Godless old codger whose glorious death I want to focus on today.

The 68-year-old man, who has not yet been named, was walking home with a friend when he got into difficulty in the Wicker area of the city on Monday.

Yes, he certainly did get into difficulty, but nowhere near as much difficulty as he'll have explaining to Jesus what he was doing in a part of the city named after an evil pagan witch cult! Let this be a lesson to you all - if your city has a Catlick area, or a Mudslime district, or even a Joo quarter, then you'd best stay well out, unless you want a short sharp killing from Christ! Shout Glory!

[Kazoo]

Re: Proof that prayer works!

Now, correct me if I am wrong, but it would seem that such floods and heavy rains are rather frequent in the Sheffield area and that these two mentioned men were subsequently caught up in the resulting undertow created by the fast-moving waters.

Hardly Biblical...

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Proof that prayer works!

Now, correct me if I am wrong, but it would seem that such floods and heavy rains are rather frequent in the Sheffield area and that these two mentioned men were subsequently caught up in the resulting undertow created by the fast-moving waters.

Hardly Biblical...

Believe it or not, this isn't what normal life looks like here:

No, this is the wrath of God, pure and simple.

[Kazoo]

Re: Proof that prayer works!

Believe it or not, this isn't what normal life looks like here:

No, this is the wrath of God, pure and simple.

Or, perhaps an indirect result of global warming! Else, perchance a freak incident resulting from abnormally heavy rainfall, possibly due to Atlantic air and convection currents.

Wait... What am I talking about? Silly me, of course it must have been divine intervention! I mean, convection currents? Pff! Please!

[Jonathan H. Dona]

Re: Proof that prayer works!

Or, perhaps an indirect result of global warming! Else, perchance a freak incident resulting from abnormally heavy rainfall, possibly due to Atlantic air and convection currents.

Wait... What am I talking about? Silly me, of course it must have been divine intervention! I mean, convection currents? Pff! Please!

Of course it was divine intervention! There is no such thing as "chance" or an "incident!" There is only the Lord, as he controls all and knows all! Those sinners got what they deserved and praise Jesus for setting them straight- by sending them straight to Hell!

[lilith]

Re: Proof that prayer works!

"Proof that prayer works"huh?

And can you prove that either of the two men killed weren't praying for help at the time of their deaths,then?

[Sista Lateefah]

Re: Proof that prayer works!

"Proof that prayer works"huh?

And can you prove that either of the two men killed weren't praying for help at the time of their deaths,then?

The LORD do not listen to the prayers of the Godless!

[lilith]

Re: Proof that prayer works!

The LORD do not listen to the prayers of the Godless!

You're assuming they were godless - what if they were Christians,just taking a shortcut through that area? Or perhaps there to save souls?

[Joo (Quarantined)]

Re: Proof that prayer works!

The LORD do not listen to the prayers of the Godless!

Why not? If he did, perhaps he'd get more people to believe in him if he showed himself outside his little circle of worshipers.

[Wash O'Hanley]

Re: Proof that prayer works!

God does not need to prove himself to the likes of you or anyone else that is too stupid to believe in him with all the overwhelming and undeniable evidence in his favor.

Some people seem to be under the impression that it makes them smart to over analyze these things. They say things about how you can't "prove" that God exists and that there is no "evidence" that he is real. These fools use science and other forms of witchcraft to justify their wickedness. But folks, when you think with your heart God and everything in the Bible makes perfect sense.

[Kazoo]

Re: Proof that prayer works!

The LORD do not listen to the prayers of the Godless!

I dunno... seems mighty convenient if you ask me.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Proof that prayer works!

I dunno... seems mighty convenient if you ask me.

No too convenient for unsaved scum like you though, Kaisey.

Pray all you like, Jesus has a place in hell with your name on it.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Proof that prayer works!

Why not? If he did, perhaps he'd get more people to believe in him if he showed himself outside his little circle of worshipers.

Your "logic" is utterly nonsensical. If every Hindu, atheist and Catholic knew that they could pray to Jesus and have Him answer their prayers, what incentive would they have to stop being Hindus or atheists? None whatsoever. Think about it.