[Palmer C. Eldrich]

Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010!

I'm surprised that I made it thru the whole day without hearing that old BLONDIE song.

[Philippe]

Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010!

It seems God has given all of us some extra time. I think he noticed many people following the wrong path and He wanted them to get on the right path first. Praise The LORD for his infinite wisdom!

Fortunately I have Free Market Fred's extended End of World Insurance so no matter when God decides to end the World, I will be covered.

Can I still apply for that End of World Insurance? Because nobody can be sure of how long the Godly delay will be.

I agree with Cranky Old Man, we should praise the LORD for His wisdom, but I'd also like all the non-believers here to THANK Him for the chance God just gave them to repent.
And I'd like them to apologize to us, because, once again, it's their fault if we're not sitting in Heaven, drinking a fresh cocktail right now

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010!

Does anyone know what happened?

It seems God has given all of us some extra time. I think he noticed many people following the wrong path and He wanted them to get on the right path first. Praise The LORD for his infinite wisdom!

Fortunately I have Free Market Fred's extended End of World Insurance so no matter when God decides to end the World, I will be covered.

[Wide-Open]

Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010!

Does anyone know what happened?

I'm posting this from my hospital bed. It was a bit of a weird day. I was waiting in my prayer closet, hoping that Jesus wouldn't forget me. I got more and more nervous, and started to hyperventilate.

Took a few shots of whisky to calm down.

Later I decided to make it easy for Baby Jesus, and go outside. To make myself as light as possible, I took off all my clothes. And to make a headstart I climbed in a nearby tree shouting "HERE I AM JESUS, PLEASE TAKE ME!!!!" from the top of my lungs.

Then it became dark.

Suddenly, I heard a soothing voice and saw a strange blurry light.

RAPTURE!

HEAVEN!!!!

Eh, no.

It turned out to be the ER room light, where they were fixing my broken leg, and the nurse asking why I had been such a silly boy. CAN YOU IMAGINE MY DISAPPOINTMENT?

Apparently, the branch I was standing on couldn't hold me, and I fell out of the tree. I also got a fine from the police for indecent behaviour. BASTARDS!

This also means I can not come to Freehold for the coming election, and I'll have to bow out of the race.

What a day.

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010!

You really have a great time, haven't you, with so many dumb idiots around to release of their money?

Hey! The products of Free Market Fred are awesome, I buy almost everything he sells. My motion detecting sprinklers work flawlessly and his End of World Insurance gives me great comfort. The great thing about his insurance is that it is continuous (provided I pay the monthly fee), so no matter when God decides to end the World, I will be covered.

[Icelandic Atheist]

Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010!

Rapture

1. The state of being transported by a lofty emotion; ecstasy.
2. An expression of ecstatic feeling. Often used in the plural.

I take it when you spoke of rapture you meant an ectasy-overdose party ?

Didn't know God was in favor of:

Ecstasy:

• MDMA or Methylenedioxymethamphetamine, a psychedelic drug sold under the street name "ecstasy".

Good on you!

Enjoy.

[michele]

Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010!

so has rapture occured? is this rapture? me being at work?

[Miss Cassandra]

Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010!

The Lord is deliberately holding back on Armageddon and Rapture until midnight, in the hopes that you will take up my offer and buy End of World Insurance (EOWI). As I mentioned earlier, this will protect you and your family from burning in Hell due to indebtedness. Now, on End-Of-World eve, we offer the special discounted price of $89 (was previously $99!).

You really have a great time, haven't you, with so many dumb idiots around to release of their money?

Anyway, I believe it is the 5th of March now in all parts of America except Alaska and Hawaii. Is Jesus delayed? Has he overslept himself?

[Raven.]

Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010!

Lay off the marijuana and every day things won't seem so interesting.

You don't have much time left before you're raptured, I suggest SERIOUS repenting.

"surprising" being in quotes was to say that every day is normally just an average day. I couldn't take marijuana anyway as for i would lose my job and love and probably get killed.

but now that its past 24 there i guess its all good.

Raven

[Mrs. Rogers]

Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010!

Brothers, Sisters, are you all still there?

Brother WO, I'm not sure I am all there -- I have been on my knees for the past 12 hours and can no longer feel my lower limbs! At first I thought I'd been Raptured from the waist down, but I can still see, if not feel, my legs.

Amen! Everything has happened as the Bible stated. Jesus today began his reign on earth - invisibly from heaven. Today, March 4, 2010, is the beginning of the end!

PRAISE, Brother Basher! It is most certainly the beginning of the end of my blood circulation; I welcome the inevitable gangrene, and offer it up unto the LORD as proof of my faith.

[Halleluyah Rob]

Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010!

oh good, i do get to enjoy my Friday. i was soooo 'suprized' to wake up to the usual alarm clock...'surprised' as in i sighed and stumbled back into my chair to see what other exiting things that were planned actuly happened.

Raven

Lay off the marijuana and every day things won't seem so interesting.

You don't have much time left before you're raptured, I suggest SERIOUS repenting.

[tuchme]

Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010!

Ah, surprise, surprise!

The world didn't end.

[Free Market Fred]

Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010!

Brothers and Sisters,

Although it's February 5 over here in Hong Kong, it's still February 4 in the USA (only 7:30 pm on the US west coast). The Lord, of course, runs on USA time, not heathen time like over here in Chinkland. So you've still got a few hours. The Lord is deliberately holding back on Armageddon and Rapture until midnight, in the hopes that you will take up my offer and buy End of World Insurance (EOWI). As I mentioned earlier, this will protect you and your family from burning in Hell due to indebtedness. Now, on End-Of-World eve, we offer the special discounted price of $89 (was previously $99!). This End-Of-World insurance policy that will guarantee that all your debts will be paid, no matter how much you owe, provided that the world does end at midnight tonight.


Moses says: the Lord command thee to buy insurance

But you've got to hurry. The policy can be purchased online now with a Visa or MasterCharge card. Tomorrow will be too late! If you think you're going to be Raptured while still underwater on your mortgage or buried in credit card debt, you are sadly mistaken.

[Raven.]

Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010!

oh good, i do get to enjoy my Friday. i was soooo 'suprized' to wake up to the usual alarm clock...'surprised' as in i sighed and stumbled back into my chair to see what other exiting things that were planned actuly happened.

Raven

[Jacob the Angry Liar]

Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010!

I'd have thought the world would've ended by now. I guess there's still 9 more hours for it to occur...