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  • Rev. Jim Osborne
    replied
    Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010!

    Originally posted by Aristotle View Post
    Do you think it wise to talk about Habakkuk in open forum?
    While the public at our church is aware there is a Project Habakkuk going on, the details of said project are remaining secret, for now. To be on the safe side, I would limit references to the Project, and surely do not elaborate further on the workings.

    SJ-74 was a disaster because someone had loose lips. I think you realize how important it is to keep mum about this whole affair. Are we on the same page, brother?

    Leave a comment:


  • Aristotle
    replied
    Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010!

    Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
    Thank God we had the foresight to get Project Habakkuk off the ground in time, eh?
    Do you think it wise to talk about Habakkuk in open forum?

    Leave a comment:


  • James Hutchins
    replied
    Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010!

    Originally posted by GutPuncher View Post
    No, it is not.
    Son, do not come crying to me at 6:10 AM on March 4th, 2010

    If you wait too long to repent, God will see through your little ploy and deny you access to Heaven.

    Dispose of your worldly goods, give your money to the Church. God will see these efforts and reward you handsomely.

    Leave a comment:


  • Levi Jones
    replied
    Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010!

    Originally posted by GutPuncher View Post
    No, it is not.
    Let me get this straight. You were strolling around the interwebs and this thread caught your eye.

    You took all that time to think up a username and password. You had to answer the registration question from the Bible. Then, you went to check your email to get the confirmation for you to join here.

    Finally, you charged into this thread to utter four monosyllabic words. That makes no sense whatsoever.

    Ecclesiastes 4:5
    The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own flesh.

    Leave a comment:


  • GutPuncher
    replied
    Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010!

    No, it is not.

    Leave a comment:


  • Cranky Old Man
    replied
    Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010!

    Originally posted by Heathen_Basher View Post
    Amen. Seeing as I won't need it in a month from, anyone have suggestions on how I can spend my life savings?
    Donate them to the Church! 2 Corinthians 9:7 "Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver."

    I already put a for sale sign in the lawn of Mrs. Johnson. I am sure Mister Johnson wants it that way.

    Leave a comment:


  • Meek and Humble
    replied
    Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010!

    Originally posted by Aristotle View Post
    March 3 may be calling it too close. What if you are raptured, as a good percentage of TrueChristians™ will be, before the end?. You might miss the chance to put in your order. I suggest setting up an account so it can happen automatically. Imagine looking down from Heaven when Berkshire Hathaway stock breaks the buck!
    Amen. Seeing as I won't need it in a month from, anyone have suggestions on how I can spend my life savings?

    Leave a comment:


  • Meek and Humble
    replied
    Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010!

    Originally posted by Free Market Fred View Post
    I find this very interesting. As a general rule, the world ending is bad for the stock market. If the world is going to end on March 4, I suggest taking a major short position on March 3, leveraging the Dow Jones Industrial Average through one of our mutual funds at a 10:1 ratio.
    Glory! The end of the world may be just what we need to fix our broken economy!

    Leave a comment:


  • Myron Pollard
    replied
    Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010!

    Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
    Thank God we had the foresight to get Project Habakkuk off the ground in time, eh?
    Praise Jesus...

    Leave a comment:


  • Pastor Ezekiel
    replied
    Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010!

    Thank God we had the foresight to get Project Habakkuk off the ground in time, eh?

    Leave a comment:


  • Aristotle
    replied
    pre-tribulation rapture

    Originally posted by Heathen_Basher View Post
    Scream glory Christians! The end is nigh! Soon we will be returned into the bosom of Christ, while the sinners are left to suffer the tribulation! If you haven't been saved yet, do so now! It is urgent!!!

    I have been carefully studying the books of Revelation, Daniel, and other key passages in Matthew, Ezekiel, and Song of Solomon, and having computed some numbers, have realized the return of Jesus is going to be three weeks from now!

    Now, I know some of you will say Jesus said we cannot predict the day and the hour, but the Bible actually says that near the end, the date and hour WILL become known!


    Daniel 12: 9And he said, Go thy way, Daniel: for the words are closed up and sealed till the time of the end.
    10Many shall be purified, and made white, and tried; but the wicked shall do wickedly: and none of the wicked shall understand; but the wise shall understand.
    11And from the time that the daily sacrifice shall be taken away, and the abomination that maketh desolate set up, there shall be a thousand two hundred and ninety days.
    12Blessed is he that waiteth, and cometh to the thousand three hundred and five and thirty days.
    13But go thou thy way till the end be: for thou shalt rest, and stand in thy lot at the end of the days.

    Edit: As per Brother Noah's revelation, it will be at 6:20 AM CST! Shout glory!
    I was always taught that you must always be ready to be raptured at anytime in case JESUS comes before any other signs are given like a peace treaty with Israel because you may die at any moment and then you are judged. Has anybody heard about someone being raptured yet? I thought I saw a case yesterday when a car came down the hill and ran into the tree of my front yard. There was no driver but it turned out to be simply a parking brake failure.

    PRAISE JESUS!

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  • Meek and Humble
    replied
    Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010!

    Originally posted by TheLordSavedMe View Post
    Uhm, I'm really scared!

    I'm not a True Christian™ yet, do I get to got to Heaven with the rest of you guys? Or do I have to go to Hell? Is this when the Tribulation starts, and the war with Satan's army and everything?

    Do I need to pack?


    Tammi
    Tammi, don't put off salvation one more second! Don't you want to be welcomed into Christ's bosom?

    Leave a comment:


  • James Hutchins
    replied
    Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010!

    Originally posted by Caboose View Post
    I know this will mostlikley be seen as blastphemous...(sp?)

    but what happens... well... if nothing happens? constructive answers are the most usefull here please.

    we've already established im going to burn already.
    That certainly is a negative attitude. You must really be fun to be around!

    Leave a comment:


  • Meek and Humble
    replied
    Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010!

    Originally posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
    So the year is 2010, the month is March, the 3rd month, the 4th day and at 06:20am

    I therefore looked to the 20th book of KJV1611, the 10th Chapter and 3rd Verse

    Proverb:10:3: The LORD will not suffer the soul of the righteous to famish: but he casteth away the substance of the wicked.

    This is the clearest indication of the destruction of the World and the Salvation™ of True Christians.

    I noted that the date is 4th and time 06:20, but I note that in Jerusalem at that time it will be 14:20 because of the Jooish way of counting things.

    I therefore looked to the 4th book of KJV1611, the 14th Chapter and 20th Verse:

    Nu:14:20: And the LORD said, I have pardoned according to thy word:

    [This is set in the context of Moses seeking forgiveness for the trespasses of the Children of God (nowadays, True Christians™) Nu:14:19: Pardon, I beseech thee, the iniquity of this people according unto the greatness of thy mercy, and as thou hast forgiven this people, from Egypt even until now.]

    Thus we see that any trespasses that True Christians™ might have committed are now forgiven and entry to Heaven is assured.

    Heathen Basher, I await the End of times with equanimity.
    Oh my! This is more accurate than the Bible Code!!! Not only does it work one way, but also in the opposite direction.

    Looking in the 20th book of the KJV1611, the 14th chapter, and the 4th verse:

    Proverbs 14:4 Where no oxen are, the crib is clean: but much increase is by the strength of the ox.

    This is talking about needing a strong ox for the harvest. In scripture, the rapture is compared to Jesus harvesting His people!!!

    Now the 3rd book of the 10th chapter and the 20th verse:

    Leviticus 10:20 And when Moses heard that, he was content.

    Moses content? What does it mean?! Content that Jesus is coming? You bet! After all, Jesus is the new Moses! And Moses was one the first people to be raptured! Is he content that we are all going to be joining him now? Yes!

    Leave a comment:


  • Buford T Scoggins
    replied
    Re: WARNING!!! The world is going to end on March 4, 2010!

    Originally posted by Caboose View Post
    Yeah thats the Myan calender...

    They Myans had 7 days, each day lasting 21,000 years...

    It wasnnt so much a day, more an Era. And this "Era" ends on ...
    Just so happens to be when the planets align with the sun.

    It wasn't so much a day, more an Era. And this "Era" ends on 21/12/2012...
    Just so happens to be when the planets align with the sun.
    Mayans! I wouldn't trust anything they say. Looks to me like they're all faggots, with that jewelry and body paint.



    Not even the negro pimps I've seen in Houston wear that much jewelry.


    Missionaries trying to persuade Mayan queer to put on his pants

    Actually, the only ones in that tribe that do wear clothes are the commie guerilla Mayans, like Subcomandante Marx.


    Subcomandante Marcos

    I reckon he must be the son of Karl Marcos, the Joo Mexican who wrote Das Kapital. Well, all I can say is that I hope they all disappear on 21/12/2012, along with the rest of the beaners.

    yours in Christ,
    Brother Buford

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