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  • Arethusa
    True Christian™
    True Christian™
    • Nov 2006
    • 284

    #1

    Happy Belated Canada Day!

    I've returned to this Christian abode after reading a fun "graphic novel" whose hero was raised in an evangelical christian home out in the boonies. I've missed you all but was a bit disappointed to see an independence thread for the US and none to celebrate the federation of Canada. So here we are.

    God bless North America!
    Attached Files
    Tir'd, and despairing, O celestial maid,
    I'm caught, I cry'd, without thy heav'nly aid.
    Help me, Diana, help a nymph forlorn,
    Devoted to the woods, who long has worn
    Thy livery, and long thy quiver born.
    - Ovid
  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78552

    #2
    Re: Happy Belated Canada Day!

    Originally posted by Arethusa View Post
    I've returned to this Christian abode after reading a fun "graphic novel" whose hero was raised in an evangelical christian home out in the boonies. I've missed you all but was a bit disappointed to see an independence thread for the US and none to celebrate the federation of Canada. So here we are.

    God bless North America!
    Sister, welcome back to God's favorite forum, and it pains me to have to rebuke you firmly on your very first post.

    There is nothing independent about Canada. It is a foul cesspool of homers, dope addicts and frenchies. That place is hated by God and controlled by satan....for the time being.

    There is nothing worth celebrating in that hellhole. Once our Godly president turns the Mideast into a sheet of glass, we'll send a few of our female troops up to annex Cannuckistan.

    THEN you all can celebrate July 4th properly.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

    Comment

    • Arethusa
      True Christian™
      True Christian™
      • Nov 2006
      • 284

      #3
      Re: Happy Belated Canada Day!

      Awww, Pastor. We're trying very hard to be like you though. We've got our troops in Canada, and our PM has been muzzling all his ministers and how our generals pointed classifying information that used to be protected under the Freedom of Information act after an Afghan detainee scandal broke out.

      Surely that makes us a little better in the eyes of the Lord.
      Tir'd, and despairing, O celestial maid,
      I'm caught, I cry'd, without thy heav'nly aid.
      Help me, Diana, help a nymph forlorn,
      Devoted to the woods, who long has worn
      Thy livery, and long thy quiver born.
      - Ovid

      Comment

      • Wash O'Hanley
        Debate Moderator (and participant)
        Master Debater-- Has Never Been Defeated in a Debate
        Louder Than Reason
        True Christian™
        • Sep 2006
        • 2126

        #4
        Re: Happy Belated Canada Day!

        God will never bless a nation founded by cowards that would rather leave the United States to avoid war rather than going to college or marrying a woman they don't love like the rest of us did.
        Last edited by Wash O'Hanley; 07-10-2007, 09:10 PM.
        sigpic

        Comment

        • Brother Temperance
          Senior Usher
          True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
          A very nice young man
          True Christian™
          • Sep 2006
          • 15621

          #5
          Re: Happy Belated Canada Day!

          The only time I'll celebrate a "belated Canada Day" is when every last man, woman, child, and "transgender" abomination (I'm reliably informed that the latter group make up over 60% of the population) in Canuckistan is late. And I mean "late" in the sense of "suffering a permanent state of terminal death as a result of having been disembowelled by JESUS."
          O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



          God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

          Comment

          • nikilds
            True Christian™
            True Christian™
            • May 2007
            • 164

            #6
            Re: Happy Belated Canada Day!

            Canada has legalized pot and universal health care.
            Thats just repulsively satanic.
            Premarital sex is only a roadblock to holiness. You don't need to touch another person's body–or your own–to have a rockin' good time!
            Abstinence: it's not easy but neither are you!

            Comment

            • Arethusa
              True Christian™
              True Christian™
              • Nov 2006
              • 284

              #7
              Re: Happy Belated Canada Day!

              Originally posted by Wash O'Hanley View Post
              God will never bless a nation founded by cowards that would rather leave the United States to avoid war rather than going to college or marrying a woman they don't love like the rest of us did.
              We have colleges too Mr O'Hanley! And all of the war-hatin' cowards went to Newfoundland.



              Surely that's some pretty good punishment? And we have publicly funded religious schools and religious courts. We're practically heaven!


              Originally posted by Brother Temperance
              The only time I'll celebrate a "belated Canada Day" is when every last man, woman, child, and "transgender" abomination (I'm reliably informed that the latter group make up over 60% of the population) in Canuckistan is late. And I mean "late" in the sense of "suffering a permanent state of terminal death as a result of having been disembowelled by JESUS."
              What if I make the greeting on time next year? I confess that I did not know that Jesus was so severe on a little tardiness. I must not have read my Bible as closely as I thought....

              Originally posted by nikilds
              Canada has legalized pot and universal health care.
              Thats just repulsively satanic.
              But! we're spending more money on the military (billions to protect the Artic!) and we hate our natives. So we're practically blessed Americans.
              Tir'd, and despairing, O celestial maid,
              I'm caught, I cry'd, without thy heav'nly aid.
              Help me, Diana, help a nymph forlorn,
              Devoted to the woods, who long has worn
              Thy livery, and long thy quiver born.
              - Ovid

              Comment

              • Mrs. Mary Whitford
                Ladies of Landover Senior VP
                One of the Truest Christians™ Ever
                Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
                True Christian™
                • Dec 2006
                • 12414

                #8
                Re: Happy Belated Canada Day!

                Canada. Ugh. I pray Jesus strikes me down if I ever find myself having to step foot in that Godless wasteland.
                Posted via Prayer

                1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
                Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

                Blogging for CHRIST!
                Witnessing for GOD on YouTube!
                All a-Twitter for Salvation!
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                My Ladies of Landover profile!

                Comment

                • Brother Temperance
                  Senior Usher
                  True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
                  A very nice young man
                  True Christian™
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 15621

                  #9
                  Re: Happy Belated Canada Day!

                  Originally posted by Arethusa View Post
                  We have colleges too Mr O'Hanley! And all of the war-hatin' cowards went to Newfoundland.

                  Infernal woman! Next time you abuse these forums by posting a close-up of Hillary Clinton's forehead, you will be assigned 374 infraction points! Is that clear?
                  What if I make the greeting on time next year? I confess that I did not know that Jesus was so severe on a little tardiness. I must not have read my Bible as closely as I thought....
                  It doesn't matter if you make it 360 days early, it still won't change the fact that it's still a celebration of Canada! You already have Halloween and Yom HaShoah, isn't that enough perverted festivity for one year?

                  But! we're spending more money on the military (billions to protect the Artic!)
                  Protect the Arctic from what?
                  O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                  God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

                  Comment

                  • Arethusa
                    True Christian™
                    True Christian™
                    • Nov 2006
                    • 284

                    #10
                    Re: Happy Belated Canada Day!

                    Originally posted by Sister Mary Maria View Post
                    Canada. Ugh. I pray Jesus strikes me down if I ever find myself having to step foot in that Godless wasteland.
                    Better to be live there than be a CATHOLIC.

                    Brother Temperance: Forgive me! I think that Hilary Lesbian video in the other forum got me all bothered. Now I know about that evil Halloween but what's that Yom blasphemy you uttered? We don't have any of that sort of thing here, no sir. Victoria's Day, Good Friday, but not Yom Hasselhoff!

                    And we have to protect the Arctic from the filthy Russians of course!




                    Harper plans Arctic patrol fleet
                    By IAN BAILEY
                    Tuesday, July 10, 2007 Page


                    ESQUIMALT, B.C. -- Abandoning an election promise to put powerful armed icebreakers in the Arctic, Prime Minister Stephen Harper yesterday said his government will spend $3.1-billion for six to eight Canadian-made patrol ships capable of operating in ice up to a metre thick, and that a deep-water port will be built to service them.


                    It will cost an additional $4.3-billion to procure, repair and refit the ships over their 25-year lifespan, and they will resupply and fuel at the new port. No figure was given yesterday for the price of the port.
                    About a dozen shipyards in Canada could possibly build ships of this size: four in B.C., two in Ontario, two in Quebec, one in PEI, one in Nova Scotia and two in Newfoundland and Labrador.


                    After speaking about the plan to about 120 sailors gathered in summer whites on a jetty at CFB Esquimalt, just outside central Victoria, Mr. Harper called the $7-billion cost a worthwhile expense. He said it is well known that other countries have aims on Arctic resources and also dispute elements of Canada's claims of sovereignty - not just foes, but in some cases friends as well.

                    "Canada has a choice when it comes to defending our sovereignty over the Arctic," Mr. Harper said. "We either use it or lose it. And make no mistake, this government intends to use it."


                    Mr. Harper's announcement fell somewhat short of a commitment made during the last election campaign to build three armed icebreakers capable of crashing through six-metre-thick ice for a northern sovereignty mission he called a "Canada First" strategy.


                    Pressed on the issue, he said the new plan made sense for current circumstances.


                    "In the campaign, we talked about three heavy icebreakers. Upon reflection and having the Department of National Defence and our office take the past year to look at various options, we concluded that we wanted a more versatile fleet, so went with more of the medium icebreakers that frankly allow us to patrol the Arctic waters and the Northwest Passage when it matters," he said.


                    Mr. Harper said that the ships he announced yesterday will be able to navigate Canada's three coasts and major rivers. They will also have helicopter landing pads for C-148 Cyclone helicopters that were ordered last year.


                    Defence Minister Gordon O'Connor told the gathering the ships will "stand among the world's heaviest armed naval vessels capable of sustained operations in ice."


                    The ships will be able to patrol the passage's length in the summer navigable season, and can patrol approaches to the passage year-round. They will have a 6,000 nautical-mile range and can cruise at a top speed of 20 knots.


                    Each will be about 100 metres long and displace about 3,000 metric tonnes.


                    Vice-Admiral Drew Robertson, Chief of Maritime Staff, said the ships will allow "sustained operation" in the North. "These ships will significantly enhance the navy's ability to provide armed support to other government departments for enforcing sovereignty and security in all three of Canada's ocean approaches."


                    Liberal defence critic Denis Coderre said Mr. Harper missed an opportunity to outline a fuller policy on how Canada might make its claims to the North stick. "It should have been more global," Mr. Coderre said from Montreal.
                    Mr. Coderre also noted that Mr. Harper had reversed course on icebreakers, an underwater surveillance system and an airborne battalion for the north.


                    "What we have today instead is six to eight vessels that basically will be able to travel during summer and at certain levels during other seasons. They will be at the mercy of Arctic conditions."
                    Neither the Prime Minister, Mr. Robertson nor Mr. O'Connor were more specific about the threats or the challenges to Canadian sovereignty, although the Prime Minister hinted at conflicts over global interest in the resources of the region, notably deposits of diamonds, silver, copper and zinc.


                    "The world is changing. The ongoing discovery of the North's resource riches - coupled with the potential impact of climate change - has made the region an area of growing interest and concern," he said.
                    Tir'd, and despairing, O celestial maid,
                    I'm caught, I cry'd, without thy heav'nly aid.
                    Help me, Diana, help a nymph forlorn,
                    Devoted to the woods, who long has worn
                    Thy livery, and long thy quiver born.
                    - Ovid

                    Comment

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