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  • #31
    Re: Proving Once and For All that evilution is FALSE...the debate is over

    Originally posted by Brother Temperance View Post
    Perhaps I should assist you with that. My expertise in saving young Catholic girls from Satan's clutches in unparalleled.
    Brother, I believe Rain mentioned her young 'nephews'.
    Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
    "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
    Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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    • #32
      Re: Proving Once and For All that evilution is FALSE...the debate is over

      Originally posted by Witch Hammer View Post
      As the fish flops about, gasping for air, be sure to point out to the children that it doesn't appear to be sprouting limbs or developing lung function, and that in fact, it is dying an excruciatingly painful death. Feel free to ad lib here, you can rant about damnation and hellfire
      That's quite a blessed demonstration of Biblical truth, which (if you don't mind) I think I'll use as a demonstration at next week's Youth In Action meeting. One thing I'll be sure to do is point out the similarities between the fish's painfully funny flopping about and Terri Schiavo's own excruciatingly painful death, which Christians still mourn, I can tell you.

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      • #33
        Re: Proving Once and For All that evilution is FALSE...the debate is over

        That's quite a blessed demonstration of Biblical truth, which (if you don't mind) I think I'll use as a demonstration at next week's Youth In Action meeting. One thing I'll be sure to do is point out the similarities between the fish's painfully funny flopping about and Terri Schiavo's own excruciatingly painful death, which Christians still mourn, I can tell you.
        Come on! Will you ever forget her?

        Comment

        • #34
          Re: Proving Once and For All that evilution is FALSE...the debate is over

          Originally posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
          Brother, I believe Rain mentioned her young 'nephews'.
          Good Lord, so she did. Thanks for pointing that one out, I could have been about to make a serious mistake there. Sister Rain, how old's your sister?
          O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



          God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

          Comment

          • #35
            Re: Proving Once and For All that evilution is FALSE...the debate is over

            Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
            If you had been homeschooled instead of wasting your time in secular schools that teach the lies they do, you would know that America is a REPUBLIC, not a demoncracy.
            Exactly. True Christian™ Republicans know that our Godly government cannot be left to mob rule by the unsaved riff-raff (except in the matter of homer "marriage," but as any sane person can tell you, that's completely different from other issues).
            This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

            Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance

            sigpic

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            • #36
              Re: Proving Once and For All that evilution is FALSE...the debate is over

              Originally posted by Brother Temperance View Post
              Good Lord, so she did. Thanks for pointing that one out, I could have been about to make a serious mistake there. Sister Rain, how old's your sister?
              My sister?? Why she's not much older than me at 21. Spends every Sunday down at her 'church' praying to a statue of Mary, when she should be worshipping to the LORD. Hellbound as the rest of them!!

              ~Rain

              Comment

              • #37
                Re: Proving Once and For All that evilution is FALSE...the debate is over

                Originally posted by Rain View Post
                My sister?? Why she's not much older than me at 21. Spends every Sunday down at her 'church' praying to a statue of Mary, when she should be worshipping to the LORD. Hellbound as the rest of them!!

                ~Rain
                Hmmm. 21? No, it's probably too late to save her. Oh well.

                I don't suppose you have a younger sister, do you?
                O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

                Comment

                • #38
                  Re: Proving Once and For All that evilution is FALSE...the debate is over

                  Originally posted by Brother Temperance View Post
                  Hmmm. 21? No, it's probably too late to save her. Oh well.

                  I don't suppose you have a younger sister, do you?
                  Brother, it's NEVER too late to Guarantee Salvation(tm) if someone has enough love for JESUS and enough money to be a Platinum Tither!
                  Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
                  "God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
                  Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


                  Comment

                  • #39
                    Re: Proving Once and For All that evilution is FALSE...the debate is over

                    Originally posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
                    Brother, it's NEVER too late to Guarantee Salvation(tm) if someone has enough love for JESUS and enough money to be a Platinum Tither!
                    GLORY!! I really should send my sister on vacation for the Godly True Christian(tm) men of Landover to sort her silly little Catlick self out. Only He knows if she will listen to Pastor Al's Godly wisdom, but I sure hope she will see the Light!!

                    ~Rain

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