Benny Hinn's No-Bed Hospital?

[Johny Joe Hold]

Friends, I've been in a quandary as to whether of not to file this post. I've been afraid people would think I am joking. Or, think I am making fun of Brother Hinn. I assure you neither is the case.

If you have seen Benny Hinn on television, you have seen him putting the Holy Spirit into people. He puts his hand in front of each person's face. They go limp and pass into some kind of comatose state, falling into the arms of waiting assistants. They are healed and saved for the Lord with one wave. It is marvelous to watch.

With Mr. Hinn back in the news, it occurred to me that we should marshall his talents and use them in a broader effort. We could pool the resources of the wealthy members of this forum and build a hospital to capture Mr. Hinn's talents. The hospital would be different. There would be no beds. I will explain below.

What would happen is this. Patients would be admitted, assigned a room and await Mr. Hinn. There would be thousands. Mr. Hinn would make rounds quickly, briefly stopping in each room to wave his hand in the patient's face.

Patients would go limp and collapse. Because hospital beds are too high, and waiting assistants too expensive, patients would collapse into shallow pits filled with styrofoam packing peanuts. Rooms would have these pits rather than beds. When patients woke up, saved and healed, the would go home and new patients would come in.

Thank you for listening--it is a blessing to have the Forum members here to share ideas with.

[Meek and Humble]

Re: Benny Hinn's No-Bed Hospital?

Sounds brilliant. My, why hasn't Mr Hinn put his miraculous powers to such good use already?!

[TC Patriot]

Re: Benny Hinn's No-Bed Hospital?

What's all this Benny Hinn stuff? Any of our LBC pastors can do what Benny Hinn does.

[Petal]

Re: Benny Hinn's No-Bed Hospital?

What would happen is this. Patients would be admitted, assigned a room and await Mr. Hinn. There would be thousands. Mr. Hinn would make rounds quickly, briefly stopping in each room to wave his hand in the patient's face.

Patients would go limp and collapse. Because hospital beds are too high, and waiting assistants too expensive, patients would collapse into shallow pits filled with styrofoam packing peanuts. Rooms would have these pits rather than beds. When patients woke up, saved and healed, the would go home and new patients would come in.

that so bootiful, Mr.Hold! that Mr.Hinn hospital gonna be so much betterer than them evil momma teresa hospitals where folk lay arounds in pain an dyings cuz them nuns get off on sufferings, it be catlick death pr0n, it true!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Benny Hinn's No-Bed Hospital?

I could watch Pastor Hinn knock demons over all day long.

[TC Patriot]

Re: Benny Hinn's No-Bed Hospital?

He is quite masterful but I think our Pastors are just as good if not better. It's impressive but slaying demons puts people in the seats but guaranteeing salvation like we do at Landover puts souls in heaven.

Benny Hinn does have a wonderful flair as he unleashes the power of Christ. I just don't want people to think the pastors here at LBC are not every bit as skilled as Brother Hinn.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Benny Hinn's No-Bed Hospital?

I wanted to pass along what I think is an exciting new addition to the planning for the Hinn No-Bed Hospital.

I've making inquiries as to equipment that might make the hospital, and especially Brother Hinn, as productive as possible. Today the Segway people told me they would donate one to us. The Segway, you may recall is a standup scooter device. Now, Brother Hinn can Segway about on his rounds going 12 miles per hour, much faster than walking. And, the Segway can be operated with one hand so Brother Hinn can knock people over with the other hand and never slow up. ( I'm thinking we could call it the "Sacredway"--a little PR thinking here.)

It seems to me we should supply goggles for Brother Hinn's safety. They would look good, too, with several of his favorite outfits.