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  • Johny Joe Hold
    Mayor of Freehold
     
    • Feb 2010
    • 12958

    #1

    No More Birthdays

    Pastor Harry Hardwick's beautiful sermon, "National Miscarriage Mourning Month" caused me to reflect on the improper dates we now use to record the beginning of our lives.

    Landover Baptist made national headlines some years ago when it proclaimed that we should stop using the term "birthday" and use instead the term "conceptionday". This is, of course, because life begins at conception, not nine months later. The Catholic Church is very dishonest about this. "Oh" Catholics say, "Life begins at conception, then it begins again at birth." WHICH IS IT?

    Use of "birthday" is an entirely arbitrary choice. If the day a child drops out of its mother qualifies, then any number of other days could as well. How about the day a child stops using his mother's milk? Or, let's use the day a child first rides his bike without training wheels. Put them all on a wall. Throw a dart. God begins our lives on conceptionday. Period.

    The "sticky wicket" of conceptionday is the legal part. Our birthday is established by the signature of a person licensed by government to attest that he/she was present the day we were born. To establish conceptionday, legally, we need a similar system.

    There is a simple way to do that. It would be to have a licenced person present whenever conception takes place. That person would verify that Conception Related Activity (CRA) had taken place. The Conceptionday Certificate would be signed and that day celebrated each year thereafter.

    "Who," you might ask, "Will be this person in my bedroom, car or tent?" I believe this represents a great opportunity for Landover Baptist Church. Landover could train, license and dispatch its members all over the United States as Certified Conceptionday Clerks. We could serve Jesus by observing CRA, then, recording the times and dates of conception.

    Thank you.
    Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
  • Drizzle
    Confirmed Enemy of God
    • Jan 2010
    • 71

    #2
    Re: No More Birthdays

    Interesting idea. There are some kinks to work out though. No one knows when true conception occurs unless performed and observed by a medical staff.
    The conceptionday wouldn't be very precise.

    Cool concept to think about though.

    Comment

    • Brother Enoch
      The Godliest Man in Godless Canuckistan
      True Christian™
      • Jun 2008
      • 4392

      #3
      Re: No More Birthdays

      Originally posted by Drizzle View Post
      Interesting idea. There are some kinks to work out though. No one knows when true conception occurs unless performed and observed by a medical staff.
      The conceptionday wouldn't be very precise.

      Cool concept to think about though.
      Why are you posting when you should be cutting yourself?

      Or are you multi-tasking?

      Comment

      • Drizzle
        Confirmed Enemy of God
        • Jan 2010
        • 71

        #4
        Re: No More Birthdays

        Originally posted by Brother Enoch View Post
        Why are you posting when you should be cutting yourself?

        Or are you multi-tasking?

        I'm the best multi-tasker around, muthafuckahhhh.

        Comment

        • Drizzle
          Confirmed Enemy of God
          • Jan 2010
          • 71

          #5
          Re: No More Birthdays

          Originally posted by Drizzle View Post
          I'm the best multi-tasker around, muthapiffleahhhh.
          That sounded really lame because of the piffleahhh thing.

          I keep forgetting about your little swearing tricks!

          Comment

          • Johny Joe Hold
            Mayor of Freehold
             
            • Feb 2010
            • 12958

            #6
            Re: No More Birthdays

            Originally posted by Drizzle View Post
            Interesting idea. There are some kinks to work out though. No one knows when true conception occurs unless performed and observed by a medical staff.
            The conceptionday wouldn't be very precise.
            I must point out respectfully that Brother Harry Hardwick has already addressed the matter of when conception occurrs and I would advise you not to take issue with him. On the front page of this site is his sermon which includes this statement:

            "...we must believe Creation Science doctors who say the minute the husband rolls over and starts to snore, a human life has been created."
            Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

            Comment

            • BelieverInGod
              Fourm Member
              Forum Member
              • Feb 2010
              • 9269

              #7
              Re: No More Birthdays

              Well considering that one of the few good things that a scientist has given us is the best time of the month to get pregnant. Obviously a Godly scientist (there are so few).

              So we know when all our boys were conceived because we only did 'it' once during the right time.

              I am ashamed of the other times we tried, but obviously my evil sinfulness led me to abort my own baby. I am so ashamed, I don't know what came over me. I thought that a baby didn't come because God had decided not to bless us. Now after reading this... obviously demons had taken over my soul (and my womb).

              I feel so filthy. How do I repent?
              Drama queen

              Comment

              • Drizzle
                Confirmed Enemy of God
                • Jan 2010
                • 71

                #8
                Re: No More Birthdays

                Originally posted by BelieverInGod View Post
                Well considering that one of the few good things that a scientist has given us is the best time of the month to get pregnant. Obviously a Godly scientist (there are so few).

                So we know when all our boys were conceived because we only did 'it' once during the right time.

                I am ashamed of the other times we tried, but obviously my evil sinfulness led me to abort my own baby. I am so ashamed, I don't know what came over me. I thought that a baby didn't come because God had decided not to bless us. Now after reading this... obviously demons had taken over my soul (and my womb).

                I feel so filthy. How do I repent?
                I really don't know much about repenting, obviously, but maybe some counseling or therapy through your church would help as well.

                Comment

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