See, I told you so!

[Father Thomas Martin]

May the name of Jesus Christ be praised!

Yesterday, on my way back to the parish festival, a sniper shot me. I was rushed to the hospital and pronounced dead.

Well, I got called up before the Big Guy. I was commended for all my work defending the Church, and the Big Guy said that I did a really good job.

Then He had his angel open the Book of Life, and surely enough, somewhere near the middle was "Father Thomas Albert Martin."

And so He said: "Come, blessed of My Father, inherit the Kingdom which has been prepared for you from the foundation of the world."

So, here I am, over at the St. Jerome Library, where ol' Jerry himself (he LOVED the Bible) is putting me in charge of the online posting in heaven!

I told you so! I told you so! I told you so! I told you so! I told you so! I told you so!

Thanks Be To God,

Father Thomas Albert Martin

[Talitha]

Re: See, I told you so!

May the name of Jesus Christ be praised!

Yesterday, on my way back to the parish festival, a sniper shot me. I was rushed to the hospital and pronounced dead.

Friend, that's the only bit of your Post that seems to make any sense.
I suggest you stop taking Drugs, get that child off your Lap and get yourself straight before God does this for real.
Only difference is, you'll not be working in any Library in Heaven. You'll be in the Pits of hell suffering eternal damnation.
Praise Jesus.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: See, I told you so!

There isn't any specific Scriptural support for near death experiences. Many people use 2 Corinthians 12:2-5 as a Biblical proof text of near death experiences.

2 Corinthians 12:2 I knew a man in Christ above fourteen years ago, (whether in the body, I cannot tell; or whether out of the body, I cannot tell: God knoweth; ) such an one caught up to the third heaven.
12:3 And I knew such a man, (whether in the body, or out of the body, I cannot tell: God knoweth; )
12:4 How that he was caught up into paradise, and heard unspeakable words, which it is not lawful for a man to utter.
12:5 Of such an one will I glory: yet of myself I will not glory, but in mine infirmities.

However, this is taking great liberty with interpretation and makes the assumption that Paul had actually died when he found himself in heaven. The passage nowhere states that Paul had died. It was a vision that God gave Paul of Heaven, not a near death experience.

We need to be extremely careful in how we validate our experiences. The most important test of any experience is comparing it with the Holy KJV Bible. Satan is always ready to cause deception and twist people's thinking.

2 Corinthians 11:14 And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light. 11:15 Therefore it is no great thing if his ministers also be transformed as the ministers of righteousness; whose end shall be according to their works.

Because the Bible is silent regarding near death experiences, and creation science research has not been able to be performed reliably, a great deal of prayer will need to be dedicated to a person's belief in near death experiences. I will not state that all near death experiences are faked, imagined, or satanic - but I have strong concerns, Biblically, about the validity of most near death experiences.

Especially ones claimed by mary worshiping papist dogs.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: See, I told you so!

There isn't any specific Scriptural support for near death experiences...
Because the Bible is silent regarding near death experiences, and creation science research has not been able to be performed reliably, a great deal of prayer will need to be dedicated to a person's belief in near death experiences. I will not state that all near death experiences are faked, imagined, or satanic - but I have strong concerns, Biblically, about the validity of most near death experiences.

Especially ones claimed by mary worshiping papist dogs.

You didn't read the mary-worshipping papist dog's post closely enough. He's not claiming to have had a near-death experience, he's claiming that Mary and Pimp John Paul have actually called him up to Heaven to worship him for eternity. Either he has had a seriously excessive amount of "the blood of christ" or his bumboys got tired of his attentions and dipped his death cookie in LSD. Either way, he makes about as much sense as a Polack poem.

[Deaner]

Re: See, I told you so!

He's not claiming to have had a near-death experience, he's claiming that Mary and Pimp John Paul have actually called him up to Heaven to worship him for eternity.

Working in a library is hardly my idea of heaven. My bet is he's in a drunken delirium laying naked in the back room of some queer bar.

[SalvationSeeker]

Re: See, I told you so!

Jerome is burning in HELL as we speak, for his efforts to corrupt the Holy Bible. He's not in heaven and neither are you, papist dog.
In any case, I'm sure the pope will declare this LSD-abusing priest a saint as soon as he hears this obvious lie from the bowels of hell.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: See, I told you so!

Working in a library is hardly my idea of heaven. My bet is he's in a drunken delirium laying naked in the back room of some queer bar.

Indeed, Brother. I'm sure that any "Book of Life" with that papist's name in it must actually have been the NAMBLA membership roster.

In any event, unless "Father" Martin repents of his Romanism, he will soon enough join the Catholic church fathers for all eternity, but it won't be in Heaven.