[Wash O'Hanley]

Re: Wash O'Hanley addressing concerns regarding pee-wee football

I accept your challenge to a football game under the condition that the game be played in Landover's Bay of Pigs Memorial Stadium. I would also like to know ahead of time if your team plans to use the new trick play called the "forward pass" which Walter Camp has called "the future of modern Football".

Beginner's guide to the forward pass: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forward_pass

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: Wash O'Hanley addressing concerns regarding pee-wee football

Due to popular demand, I'm going to post some more exclusive behind-the-scenes soul-saving. To all you unsaved lurkers reading, this is your lucky day:

(2007-09-27 22:24:18) pastrbillyreuben: whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.
(2007-09-27 22:24:43) MBurmy:So, the author of the book of Proverbs will burn in hell? Cuz he said that a lot...
(2007-09-27 22:24:44) pastrbillyreuben: Of course, as a ring-kissing Catholic, you couldn't be any more in danger of hell fire if you tried.
(2007-09-27 22:25:02) pastrbillyreuben: He said it before Jesus warned him.
(2007-09-27 22:25:35) MBurmy:And in the parable Jesus told, God said to the rich man "You fool, this night your life shall be expected of you"
(2007-09-27 22:25:49) pastrbillyreuben: in the parable
(2007-09-27 22:26:08) MBurmy:So God wouldn't say it in real life?
(2007-09-27 22:26:41) pastrbillyreuben: besides, it says "in danger of hell fire". It doesn't say "call some one a fool and automatically go to hell"
(2007-09-27 22:27:14) pastrbillyreuben: It's not like blaspheming the Holy Ghost, where you earn an automatic nonrefundable one-way ticket straight to Hell.
(2007-09-27 22:28:40) MBurmy: So if a born-again Christian (who you say is guaranteed to go to heaven) blasphemes the Holy Spirit (which you say gets you an automatic nonrefundable one-way Delta Airlines ticket straight to hell), then what?
(2007-09-27 22:28:54) pastrbillyreuben: Ah, you think you're being tricky.
(2007-09-27 22:29:06) pastrbillyreuben: God can see into the future, because He's God.
(2007-09-27 22:29:21) pastrbillyreuben: He knows in advance who is going to blaspheme the Holy Ghost.
(2007-09-27 22:30:10) pastrbillyreuben: Since someone can only be saved though divine intervention, God just declines to intervene in the lives of the folks who will eventually blaspheme the Holy Ghost.
(2007-09-27 22:30:43) pastrbillyreuben: Only a false convert, a thorny ground listener, would ever blaspheme the Holy Ghost.
(2007-09-27 22:31:22) pastrbillyreuben: In your example, the fact that they blasphemed the Holy Ghost is concrete proof that they were never really saved in the first place.
(2007-09-27 22:31:36) MBurmy:1. it's the Holy SPIRIT.
(2007-09-27 22:31:51) MBurmy:2. How does one know whether they're saved or not?
(2007-09-27 22:32:27) pastrbillyreuben: 1. You're wrong, it's Holy Ghost
Mark 3:29 But he that shall blaspheme against the Holy Ghost hath never forgiveness, but is in danger of eternal damnation.
(2007-09-27 22:32:39) MBurmy: Stupid King James...
(2007-09-27 22:32:50) MBurmy:Read the NAB, RSV, or NIV!
(2007-09-27 22:33:00) pastrbillyreuben: 2. A desire to blaspheme the Holy Ghost is a strong indicator that the person was not saved.
(2007-09-27 22:33:12) pastrbillyreuben: I'm not going to read your Devil translations.
(2007-09-27 22:33:33) MBurmy:So, for all we know, you might blaspheme the Holy SPIRIT, and end up going to hell.
(2007-09-27 22:34:30) pastrbillyreuben: I know the Catholic Church is upset with King James. He put the true Word of God into the hands of the people. They are no longer reliant on a corrupt Papist priest to "interpret" it for them.
(2007-09-27 22:34:44) pastrbillyreuben: Not going to happen. I'm saved.
(2007-09-27 22:35:00) MBurmy:That is the sin of presumption.
(2007-09-27 22:35:13) pastrbillyreuben: all right, where is that listed in the Bible?
(2007-09-27 22:35:27) MBurmy:Saying you can make it by God's help without your own efforts? WRONG?
(2007-09-27 22:35:35) pastrbillyreuben: I'm not presuming anyway. I am assured.
(2007-09-27 22:35:59) MBurmy:God might not save you...We don't know till the end...
(2007-09-27 22:35:59) pastrbillyreuben: absolutely not. I just said earlier that man cannot get saved without God's help.
(2007-09-27 22:36:12) MBurmy:Which I agree with...
(2007-09-27 22:36:20) pastrbillyreuben:(2007-09-27 22:30:10) pastrbillyreuben: Since someone can only be saved though divine intervention(2007-09-27 22:36:31) MBurmy:By God's help and your own efforts...
(2007-09-27 22:36:38) pastrbillyreuben: The Bible tells me how to know if I am saved.
(2007-09-27 22:36:45) pastrbillyreuben: my own efforts are but filthy rags
(2007-09-27 22:37:13) pastrbillyreuben: That was Job's problem. He thought his own efforts meant something. He was proud of his righteousness.
(2007-09-27 22:37:38) pastrbillyreuben: my own efforts mean nothing to God. How can they?
(2007-09-27 22:37:48) MBurmy: No, his problem was that he thought he could make it on his own efforts without God's help...
(2007-09-27 22:38:34) pastrbillyreuben: Job gave God His due.
(2007-09-27 22:39:15) pastrbillyreuben: but even with all his righteousness, he was no better than the most depraved sinner in God's eyes.
(2007-09-27 22:39:25) MBurmy: GAAAAAA! Outside the Church there is no salvation!
(2007-09-27 22:39:40) pastrbillyreuben: Outside of God there is no salvation.
(2007-09-27 22:39:58) pastrbillyreuben: your church cannot guarantee salvation.
(2007-09-27 22:40:43) MBurmy:I'm going to build a time machine...And I'm taking LBC on a trip in it!
(2007-09-27 22:41:17) MBurmy:You know where I'm going?
(2007-09-27 22:41:51) MBurmy:On the time machine trip?
(2007-09-27 22:41:55) pastrbillyreuben: no thanks. I don't want to go on a "trip" and smoke any of that hashish your priests carry around in their mitre.
(2007-09-27 22:42:14) MBurmy:No, I mean a real time machine!
(2007-09-27 22:42:33) pastrbillyreuben: you let me know when you have it built, space man.
(2007-09-27 22:42:35) MBurmy:You know where I'd take you all back?
(2007-09-27 22:43:03) pastrbillyreuben: To the Inquisition, so you could have us all tortured and killed?
(2007-09-27 22:43:19) pastrbillyreuben: no thanks
(2007-09-27 22:44:50) MBurmy:Spanish or Portugese?
(2007-09-27 22:45:37) MBurmy:In other words, Ferdinand & Isabella or Joao III?
(2007-09-27 22:46:08) MBurmy:Would you be willing to die for the Lord? I know I would!
(2007-09-27 22:46:36) MBurmy:I know you'd take me back to Henry VIII or Elizabeth I, so you could have me, Fr. Tom, and the other Catholics killed...
(2007-09-27 22:46:40) MBurmy:No thanks...
(2007-09-27 22:46:58) pastrbillyreuben: It doesn't matter to me, I don't want any part of it. Anyway, the rapture is coming soon, and once the Anti-Christ sets the Catholic Church up as the official church of the world, you'll get your chance to do it all over again.
(2007-09-27 22:47:12) MBurmy:THERE IS NO RAPTURE!
(2007-09-27 22:47:13) pastrbillyreuben: I don't want to get you killed. I want to get you saved.
(2007-09-27 22:47:38) pastrbillyreuben: That's exactly what Satan wants the world to believe, Michael.
(2007-09-27 22:48:25) MBurmy: We are living in the "Millenial Reign," which is a metaphor for the Age of Christianity.
(2007-09-27 22:48:54) MBurmy:And the "beast" was Nero, who symbolized the Roman persecution.
(2007-09-27 22:48:54) pastrbillyreuben: The millennial reign won't start until after the tribulation
(2007-09-27 22:49:36) MBurmy:The tribulation is a metaphor for the Roman persecution!
(2007-09-27 22:49:51) pastrbillyreuben: I've heard your whole "Nero was the beast of revelations" theology all before. I don't buy it.
(2007-09-27 22:50:18) MBurmy:Since I will NEVER join your heretical church, just kill me now.
(2007-09-27 22:51:05) pastrbillyreuben: you don't know that. you are blinded to God's truth. If God chooses to remove your blinders, then you will join.
(2007-09-27 22:52:15) MBurmy:By the way, this weekend is the St. Thomas Aquinas homecoming game, where the Knights play the St. Robert Bellarmine Broncos.
(2007-09-27 22:53:01) pastrbillyreuben: another Catholic school? Too bad they can't both lose.
(2007-09-27 22:54:13) MBurmy:After that, we play St. Lucy, then St. Rita, then John Paul II Academy.
(2007-09-27 22:54:56) MBurmy:We're in the Catholic Division of the Southeast Wisconsin Parochial Conference...
(2007-09-27 22:56:19) MBurmy:Then we play an interdivision game against the Kisimis Theotokos Greek Orthodox team...
(2007-09-27 22:57:02) MBurmy:Which do you dislike more?
(2007-09-27 22:57:50) pastrbillyreuben: Greek Orthodox theology is almost as screwy Catholic theology, but the Greek Orthodox Church in Charlotte has good food at their festivals.
(2007-09-27 22:58:06) MBurmy:Tasty gyros...
(2007-09-27 2201) MBurmy:I LOOOOOOOVE gyros...
(2007-09-27 2249) MBurmy:Anyway, goodbye, and I pray you see the light.
(2007-09-27 23:00:47) pastrbillyreuben: I have seen the light, and I'll pray the same for you, amen.
(2007-09-27 23:00:56) pastrbillyreuben: good night

[Wash O'Hanley]

Re: Wash O'Hanley addressing concerns regarding pee-wee football

Washohanley (11:43:22 PM): Greetings Mburmy I am here to discuss your challenge to a football game
MBurmy (11:44:13 PM): Yes that is my challenge...As an extra bonus, I will keep my mouth shut about the allegations if you accept...
Washohanley (11:44:37 PM): While doing some investigations on your team (namely: typing your team's name into google) I discovered that your alleged team is a High School
Washohanley (11:44:41 PM): is this true?
Washohanley (11:44:59 PM): and if you so you are aware that my team is composed of 8 and 9 year olds?
MBurmy (11:45:28 PM): That would be the high school in Louisville, Ohio-We are an elementary school in Waterford, Wisconsin.
Washohanley (11:45:56 PM): Wisconsin? That French sodom?
Washohanley (11:46:15 PM): how do you manage to play football while awash in a sea of homosexuality and beaver pelts?
MBurmy (11:46:29 PM): French sodom? Uh, no, our European heritage is mainly German...
MBurmy (11:46:45 PM): Wisconsin is home of the famous Green Bay Packers
Washohanley (11:46:57 PM): never heard of them, what sport do they play?
MBurmy (11:47:29 PM): They're in the National Football League, and have won 9 league titles and 3 Super Bowls.
Washohanley (11:47:44 PM): National Football League? Is that like the AFL?
MBurmy (11:47:52 PM): The most world championships of any pro football team.
MBurmy (11:48:06 PM): Uh, the AFL merged with the NFL in 1970...
Washohanley (11:48:24 PM): are the Portsmouth Spartans still around?
MBurmy (11:48:48 PM): They've been the Detroit Lions since 1938...
Washohanley (11:48:53 PM): that Bobby Layne sure could run a statue of liberty play
MBurmy (11:49:26 PM): He's been dead for 21 years...
Washohanley (11:49:36 PM): tragic
Washohanley (11:49:50 PM): was it a sudden death?
MBurmy (11:50:30 PM): Umm...he died at 59 in 1986, probably from a drinking problem...
Washohanley (11:50:35 PM): Isee
Washohanley (11:51:50 PM): naturally I wanted to discuss strategy, namely if your team would be using the new trick play called "The Forward Pass". Gus Dorais ran it with some success recently and I wanted to know whether or not you considered such strategy to be... underhanded
Washohanley (11:53:02 PM): John Heisman remarked that the use of the forward pass was a revolution in modern football
MBurmy (11:53:13 PM): Well, you know a Catholic helped popularize the forward pass...
MBurmy (11:53:20 PM): That would be Knute Rockne...
Washohanley (11:53:36 PM): He was probably trying to woo a child into his love fortress of debauchery
MBurmy (11:53:44 PM): I assume your team still wears leather helmets?
Washohanley (11:53:47 PM): helmets?
MBurmy (11:54:12 PM): We have helmets with-get this-face masks!
Washohanley (11:54:17 PM): like hockey?
MBurmy (11:54:47 PM): Sorta like hockey, but with less bars...
Washohanley (11:54:53 PM): the only kids that wear helmets are the those kids that ride the short bus to school. My team uses their bus as a blocking sled in the mornings
MBurmy (11:55:37 PM): Hey, you might want to read about my inspiration in coaching:
MBurmy (11:55:39 PM): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vince_Lombardi
Washohanley (11:55:58 PM): never heard of him
MBurmy (11:57:03 PM): Check out some of his quoatations:
MBurmy (11:57:04 PM): http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Vince_Lombardi
Washohanley (11:57:39 PM): very inspirational- you say this guy coached professional football? I've never heard of him, was it in the European league?
MBurmy (11:58:22 PM): No, it was for the National (american) Football League, most famously for the Green Bay Packers...
Washohanley (11:58:53 PM): those vagabonds that are owned by the Cheese Packing plant?
MBurmy (1120 PM): Actually, they started out as a meat packing company's football team...
Washohanley (12:00:08 AM): I bet they let negroes play on their team too
MBurmy (12:01:10 AM): Actually, one of these late "negroes" on the Packers had a great devotion to the Lord...
Washohanley (12:01:27 AM): I find that hard to believe. Explain yourself!
MBurmy (12:01:34 AM): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reggie_White
Washohanley (12:03:26 AM): he only played one position? In college I played quarterback, running back, right gaurd, linebacker, kicker, punter and long snapper as well as a short stint as a defensive gaurd for 3 games. Pat Summerall called me "the amazing goat boy" because of my quick feet and hankering for cans and other garbage thrown on the field.
MBurmy (12:03:57 AM): Pat Summerall? You mean the broadcaster?
MBurmy (12:04:09 AM): Most NFL players only play one position...
Washohanley (12:04:18 AM): because they're all limp-wristed pansies
MBurmy (12:04:31 AM): However, several high school and arena/indoor players play two...
Washohanley (12:05:08 AM): I once long snapped the ball to myself, gaurded three defensive linemen and punted the ball in the same play and made it down field in time to make the tackle and cause a fumble.
Washohanley (12:05:18 AM): in that order
Washohanley (12:07:17 AM): do you think Red Barber will be available to call our competition?
MBurmy (12:08:54 AM): Red Barber's been dead for almost 15 years...
Washohanley (12:09:16 AM): OH DOCTOR!
MBurmy (12:09:58 AM): However, I would LOVE to get Jim Irwin & Max McGee to do the broadcast...
Washohanley (12:11:36 AM): sounds good
MBurmy (12:12:20 AM): We'll even design helmets & uniforms for your team...
Washohanley (12:13:26 AM): I don't know, we exhumed Bronko Nagurski's grave for our's (for good luck)
MBurmy (12:14:15 AM): What are your team colors?
Washohanley (12:14:17 AM): white
Washohanley (12:14:21 AM): and another shade of white
MBurmy (12:14:44 AM): Ours are green, black, and white...
Washohanley (12:16:07 AM): due to certain legal... misfortunes... some of our players aren't allowed to leave the county (some rape charges or something), as such the game will have to be played at Landover's Bay of Pigs Memorial Stadium
MBurmy (12:16:34 AM): What does it look like?
Washohanley (12:16:31 AM): in honor of your arrival we even added "hash marks" to our fields and added a second end zone
MBurmy (12:16:59 AM): Cool...Hope you have that for all your opponents
Washohanley (12:17:28 AM): we generally play half court football- when a player gets to the 50 yard line they turn around and run back
MBurmy (12:19:07 AM): I assume your team helmets look like:
MBurmy (12:19:09 AM): http://www.helmet-depot.com/w-17.gif
MBurmy (12:19:35 AM): I will accept your white-&-white combo...
MBurmy (12:19:56 AM): But we're wearing our green & black too...
Washohanley (12:19:55 AM): no, we just shave a number into the side of each kid's head and give them a little asrpin before each game
Washohanley (12:23:54 AM): now I wanted to discuss some of the... unfortunate... allegations against me made by my athletic enemies and most recently you
Washohanley (12:24:30 AM): as I find these to be hurtful to my character and grossly uninformed
MBurmy (12:25:11 AM): I did go a bit out of line, and profusely apologize...
Washohanley (12:25:14 AM): I run a tight shift on my team and discipline is the main priority
Washohanley (12:25:40 AM): as I explained in my topic; most of what is being attributed to myself are flat out lies or misunderstandings from people not involved
MBurmy (12:26:18 AM): I do tend to sway by some media opinion, which Fr. Martin has lectured me on...
MBurmy (12:27:21 AM): Anyway, check out my helmet design...
Washohanley (12:27:30 AM): I'm sure that if your quarterback had thrown an incomplete pass you would have also lashed him 40 times with the antenna off your car. We're not just coaching to win here, we are trying to build character for these young men!
MBurmy (12:28:29 AM): No, I wouldn't have...If I had done that, then I'd get a five-game suspension and a $500 fine from the conference...
MBurmy (12:29:16 AM): For the first offense
Washohanley (12:29:19 AM): $500 is chump change to me and is a small price to pay to build character and morals
MBurmy (12:29:58 AM): Second offense, I'd get suspended for the season with no pay...
MBurmy (12:30:20 AM): Third offense, I'd get banned for life...
Washohanley (12:30:48 AM): that a union thing? you can avoid those hefty fines if you say you're working for an olive oil company and tell the feds that your football team is actually one of those "Brat Camps" for at-risk youth.
MBurmy (12:32:29 AM): Then I'd be breaking the 8th commandment: Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor
Washohanley (12:32:30 AM): as far as Uncle Sam is concerned the Landover Baptist Sultan Strom Thurmonds is "Camp El Chupacabra" located near Mammoth Mountain in the Sierra Nevadas where parents send their drug-addicted teens for rehabilitation through camping and team-building exercises
MBurmy (12:33:05 AM): I assume you say they're midget teens?
Washohanley (12:33:12 AM): no
Washohanley (12:33:17 AM): that's outrageous
MBurmy (12:34:37 AM): Okay, first we begin with the coaches' Ten Commandments quiz...
MBurmy (12:34:58 AM): You start with the First Commandment...
Washohanley (12:35:20 AM): why don't you start
Washohanley (12:35:25 AM): or we can type it at the same time
Washohanley (12:35:28 AM): GO!
MBurmy (12:35:49 AM): 1. I am the Lord thy God, thou shalt have no strange gods before Me.
Washohanley (12:35:51 AM): 1. I am the Lord thy God, thou shalt have no strange gods before Me.
Washohanley (12:35:56 AM): very good
MBurmy (12:36:02 AM): 2. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.
Washohanley (12:36:03 AM): 2. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.
MBurmy (12:36:21 AM): 3. Remember to keep Holy the Sabbath Day.
Washohanley (12:36:20 AM): 3. Remember to keep Holy the Sabbath Day.
MBurmy (12:36:43 AM): 4. Honor thy father and thy mother.
Washohanley (12:36:41 AM): 4. Honor thy father and thy mother.
MBurmy (12:36:51 AM): 5. Thou shalt not kill.
Washohanley (12:36:54 AM): 5. Thou shalt not kill.

MBurmy (12:37:00 AM): 6. Thou shalt not commit adultery.
Washohanley (12:37:00 AM): 6. Thou shalt not commit adultery.
MBurmy (12:37:07 AM): 7. Thou shalt not steal.
Washohanley (12:37:07 AM): 7. Thou shalt not steal.
MBurmy (12:37:20 AM): 8. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.
Washohanley (12:37:20 AM): 8. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.
MBurmy (12:37:37 AM): 9. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife.
Washohanley (12:37:35 AM): 9. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife.
MBurmy (12:37:52 AM): 10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's goods.
Washohanley (12:37:52 AM): 10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's goods.
MBurmy (12:38:06 AM): How did I do?
Washohanley (12:38:22 AM): good
MBurmy (12:38:47 AM): Did I use the right Commandments? I think so...
MBurmy (12:40:24 AM): Anyway, what is Bay of Pigs Memorial Stadium's capacity?
Washohanley (12:41:36 AM): well that changes by the week
MBurmy (12:41:58 AM): What will it be when the Knights come to Freehold?
Washohanley (12:41:53 AM): you have your standard swap meets, civil war reenactments, 4h club auctions
Washohanley (12:42:27 AM): then some punk teens stole the bench one day and cut our capacity in half
Washohanley (12:43:40 AM): I'm sure once we clean all the goat droppings out after the 4h club is done using the tent you can fit several hundred people in there if they bring folding chairs
MBurmy (12:44:33 AM): I hope there's enough for an audible "booooo" when we come in...
Washohanley (12:45:11 AM): Mburmy- is your St. Thoman Aquinas located at 302 South Second Street Waterford WI 53185
Washohanley (12:45:21 AM): tel: 262-534-2265
MBurmy (12:45:47 AM): Well, you can contact the coach at 262-554-6329...
Washohanley (12:46:13 AM): according to this website your school only offers volleyball and basketball which are for lesbians and colereds respectively
MBurmy (12:46:57 AM): Our football team is our "secret weapon"...
Washohanley (12:47:13 AM): and according to the staff list your physical education teamer is a woman
MBurmy (12:47:31 AM): Yes she is...
Washohanley (12:47:40 AM): sounds like this school is located in San Francisco
MBurmy (12:47:58 AM): And my wife is African-American...
Washohanley (12:47:53 AM): do you have your kids put condoms on cucumbers too?
MBurmy (12:48:43 AM): Our football team might be changing its name...Any suggestions?
Washohanley (12:49:27 AM): sir I am going to need some kind of evidence that your team even exists before we can have a game because according to this website your team doesn't exist (or did you take my adivce and change to a summer camp already)
MBurmy (12:50:37 AM): Well, I am going to need a press release verifying the existence of the "Sultan Strom Thurmonds" (and I think Crusaders would be a better name for you)
Washohanley (12:51:00 AM): in fact, no where on this website is Father Thomas Martin nor "Burmy" mentioned
MBurmy (12:51:31 AM): Well, we're in Waterford II, Wisconsin
MBurmy (12:52:22 AM): Waterford II's mayor is George Ringo.
Washohanley (12:52:37 AM): well that kind of information can't be googled or anything
Washohanley (12:52:59 AM): the mayor of Moorpark, California is Patrick Hunter- that doesn't mean anything to this conversation, though
MBurmy (12:54:03 AM): George Ringo was named in honor of the past Pope...After John Paul comes George Ringo, right?
Washohanley (12:54:09 AM): who cares
MBurmy (12:54:30 AM): Well, I need to go to sleep. GOOD NIGHT!
Washohanley (12:54:29 AM): knowing Popes is about as usefull as knowing every Hobbit's name in Lord of the Rings


Seems that Father Martin and Paul Bear Liar here have a little explaining to do.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Wash O'Hanley addressing concerns regarding pee-wee football

Any sane person knows not to play a football game with Catholics if they wish to maintain their anal virginity.

Amen Brother!

And here is some solid PROOF!

Take THAT "Father"