Hey retards !

[Official]

Everything you believe is nonsense and stupidity.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Hey retards !

Well for one thing, I beleive that you exist.

[Nobar King]

Re: Hey retards !

Everything you believe is nonsense and stupidity.

If you actually believe that it makes your statement false. Quite a conundrum!

[Professor Bessemer]

Re: Hey retards !

Everything you believe is nonsense and stupidity.

No, it is not. We believe in the word of God, which is anything but nonsense and the exact opposite of stupidity. I think you need to go see your doctor, because I believe he needs to reevaluate your medication regimen.

[Master Gordon]

Re: Hey retards !

Everything you believe is nonsense and stupidity.

How can you say that Official? The Lord has revealed himself to us through the scripture of KJV of the Bible. He feeds us, he gives us Love and Salvation. The Lord clearly cares for all of us as it says in John 6:26 thru 35.

26 Jesus answered them and said, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Ye seek me, not because ye saw the miracles, but because ye did eat of the loaves, and were filled.

27 Labour not for the meat which perisheth, but for that meat which endureth unto everlasting life, which the Son of man shall give unto you: for him hath God the Father sealed.

28 Then said they unto him, What shall we do, that we might work the works of God?

29 Jesus answered and said unto them, This is the work of God, that ye believe on him whom he hath sent.

30 They said therefore unto him, What sign shewest thou then, that we may see, and believe thee? what dost thou work?

31 Our fathers did eat manna in the desert; as it is written, He gave them bread from heaven to eat.

32 Then Jesus said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Moses gave you not that bread from heaven; but my Father giveth you the true bread from heaven.

33 For the bread of God is he which cometh down from heaven, and giveth life unto the world.

34 Then said they unto him, Lord, evermore give us this bread.

35 And Jesus said unto them, I am the bread of life: he that cometh to me shall never hunger; and he that believeth on me shall never thirst.

Praise the Lord your God and be saved by the blood of Jesus and you will be like us. True believers in the eyes of the Lord.

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Hey retards !

I hate the weekends around here, why can't liebral parents keep a leash on their children.

Oh wait, it's Monday, aren't they supposed to be in school?

[Jurugi]

Re: Hey retards !

This is something I typed up when I was only in 8th grade (13 yrs old), and I'm now legally an adult. Basically, religion is a human institution of power similarly to an empire, but made up of fanatical fools who believe in salvation or purpose beyond their depressing and dull lives. Even Fanatical Islam, spreading terror and undermining society, is based on radical spread of their laws into other lands until Islam is the supreme law of the land. The Church is no different, it is a powerful human hierarchy empire, that no longer has much or any power due to improved education and scientific knowledge. Even it has been corrupt at times. I know there might be some grammar errors or points that are not fully described, so you can undermine and flow like water, scurrying like rats away from the strong points. But pick away as you must, the facts are there and if you put some thought so much more can be said than just this paper I wrote and so much more points can be made.





Why religion does not make sense: From the view of an ex-Roman Catholic Christian
(Christianity, Zoroism, Paganism, Islam)


Religion has always been created and used by humans to be manipulated and maintain the system of order and authority, in the neverending stuggle for human power and greed. Examples of this can be found throughout history. Paganism was smeared by the invading barbarians and later Christians, because it was the religion of the enemy empire of Ancient Rome which had been oppressing them and later overthrown by them. But, what you hear of Paganism is true. Temples were erected to various gods in favor of crops, favorable weather, sea, supplies, anything you can think of, but they were filled with men and women who performed sexual services to pleasure and orgy others. It was thought, and still is, that building temples and praising these gods (or God) will make them have pity on you or be glad that you are living in their (or his) image, so they will grant your request. And when angry, they will make your crops die, the seas rip apart your ships, and cause lightning and rain to fall from the sky. Basically Paganism was a more open religion, in the form of pleasuring yourself and praising or blaming the gods for good fortune.

Section 1 - Human Relations and Emotions

Of course, we all know by now this is COMPLETELY false. We have learned all about these things, even down to the mechanics of how they work. When the major religions of today were founded, it was in the times when humans had no idea what the Sun and the Moon really was, what the stars and night are. Even the 1% of rich nobles and kings who owned all the wealth and had the highest education, were not very well educated at times. How do I see this? Well, its another human story-teller who got lucky and started a religion. Human nature knows that night brings darkness, and with darkness everything is concealed and evil things can maim and hurt you without you seeing. It is human nature to be afraid of the dark, and thus afraid of night.. and of course if you don't (or didn't) know what the moon and the sun are, they might as well be the great gods of Good(Sun, with light) and Evil(moon, stars, darkness).

I will now refer to one famous story, the temptation of Jesus in the desert by Satan. Jesus was God's son sent to earth to make a point and die as a sinless man, so as to prove our worth and open the gates of heaven to us. But, the fact that a human man could go into the desert for 40 days and nights, make the journey, and then return back merits that he had to have used divine powers or assistance, or that this is just a story (which is likely the truth, and I'll tell you why in a bit). But how come, in every story of the bible, this one included, the Devil is refered to or depicted as a foul or dangerous, poisonous creature, such as a horned muscly red (Hm, strange, just happens to be the color of our blood. Why can't it be purple?) beast or a serphant ready to strike at you. Here's a point, even the church awknowledges that this story is false because obviously Jesus could not have survived the walk in the desert with nothing but the clothes on his back, and secondly animals cannot talk. It's supposedly a metaphorical story written down to teach a lesson, just like a parable. So, now that pretty much everyone agrees that this story is made up, whats the lesson? Well to me, just some writer trying to show the main charcater as a valiant and strong man who does what is right for no apparent reason, when he is tempted by human-like desires. What I'm saying is, if our blood wasn't red, the devil wouldn't be depicted as having red skin and horns. If serphants were cuddly, they would have written it to be a wolf instead. If we didn't have desires for money, a high status in society, food, and a mate (all basic animal instincts), then this story wouldn't be targetting those human-weaknesses, but something else. So this leads me to believe again in the existance of a human writer. We all know the stories were written down by human writers, but basically I believe they are just fantastical story tales combined into a big book.

Section 2 - Jesus was Real

By now all the religious fanatics are either interested, converting, or thinking HERESY in their head. In fact, the only defense left for religion is that no one knows the origin of the universe and existance. They just think, "Well, this is something we as the human race can never comprehend, or just haven't scientifically unravelled yet, so this is our next line of defense." Ohwell, this isn't the point of thie section.

The point is, I believe in Jesus of Nazareth. I believe he was a living, breathing human, but not divine or having any ties to supernatural powers. I think that he existed as a man, but by the time he was crucified he had no followers. When his followers diminished, and the last ones went away when he told them to "Eat his flesh" at the last supper, he was left with only his diciples. Even Judas had left him and commited suicide later on, so they made that tale about how God had tormented him about the coins and he felt so sorry that he betrayed Jesus that he just hung himself, and he is the ultimate story of betrayal. Good story, yes?

But what's with this thing about 'passing down of Eye-witness authorities'. It's like a main point in religion, but there's nothing to it. You make a whole damn speech about it but everyone understands it because its something you can understand by the time you're 13 years old. It's extremely simple, but they have a whole speech on how they have to 'write down things so people dont forget'. Why would tens of thousands of people forget their savior who performed so many miracles for them and spread the word for him, unless he was just a fictional story? Here's what I think:

At first, he gained momentum, like any politician or religious leader. Same with Muhammad of Islam. In fact, you see these types of people all the time. The people who chant and claim new religions, looking slightly crazed. Back in those times (as I explained), do you think if you had an education you couldn't sway people who were dirt poor farmers? The extremely few who got lucky include Jesus and Muhammad.. Then, in Jesus's case, he began attracting followers and roaming the country side. Soon he had 12 diciples and had brainwashed them and they simply believed him whole heartedly. Now, he goes about his life, then he ends up getting crucified when he is chanting in a jewish temple to a small crowd in some place he just shouldn't have been in, and you all know the great story of 'The Passion'. Trust me, in school I had to go to The Passion mass every day for a month. So, glory to the man who is hanging on the cross. He saved us!
Well, and an earthquake happened, but that's just another exagerrated fact from the story book isn't it?

After this, you have 12 educated people who learned from 'The Master' himself, and they all begin recording stories about how Jesus did this, how he went around, did astounding miracles and depicting stories of him as the Son of God. The church even awknowledges that in order to spread the religion, they had to work to target certain areas to help to spread the religion to other people. St. Paul was regarded as 'brilliant' to people who study theology, because he targetted key cities and ports. These hellish places were always bundled with preachers, caravans, clumped together buildings, people all over the streets, and the one preacher who doesn't seem like he's drunk or a crazed hobo starts getting a small crowd of bored spectators. And, from this birthed Christianity. Everyone had to start reading a bible and 'learn' about what Christ did, according to the apostles,
and then it spread just like any other religion would have. People talked about it, they decided to believe in it, and everyone knows it appealed because it was a New Religious Order which accepted peasants and poor people rather than the 1:100 ratio of rich people. So, thus a new religion is born. Nowdays, the most appealing religion is Scientology (which I'm not a part of by the way) because it does really have logical morals. But, its not like a god or something, its more like a common belief in the human race.

Section 3 - The Crusades, as an example

This again goes back to religion used to establish order.. Just a thousand years later, the church is this huge extremely rich foundation who use their influence and the populace who believes themselves to be unclean and extremely sinful, so they literally bow to their priests and submit to their will. A plea for help from some Christians, and the church mobilizes an army, and this happened 7 times, to go and kill Middle Eastern people just to hold the spot where their supposed savior died (so thus, they rule it as a holy place). Well, now it is a holy place with millions of dead, confused, trusting men who are brainwashed into putting on armor and fighting to the death to gain a spot in heaven by The Church.

Radical Islam, the opposing side, is similar. They are in a society which demands extreme strictness and dicipline, and they must 'submit to the will of their ultimate creator' by bowing towards the sun rise every morning. This alone breeds children who grow up believing in the religion, and they will fight for it and blindly do anything for it. You see the radical islam people back then, fighting like crazy fanatics in leather, against crusaders with more dicipline and armor.. but they are still people, not saying they weren't a sizeable force or anything. Now, you see it still in existance, only the Church isn't launching a crusade against the radical islam movement that is currently blowing up innocent people. Nope, thats just a country thats devoting 1/100000 of its infantry to occupying a terrorist land until its clean (America and Afganistan, but now lets not get into that issue, its more like using a cannon to kill a house fly if you ask me).

So here you have two orders with fanatical believers, one just a crazy eastern force that wants to fight like fanatics to the death until they are cut up and win honor for their religion. The other side is European, peasants living in bad conditions under their rich, thieving Lords who protect them if they continue to live in the dirt and give him food and money. This brainwashed populus believes that they are extremely sinful, and their conditions of being dirty and poor show that 'God the almighty' has shown disfavor on them.


Section 4 - Coming soon..

I was listening to a theology teacher one day teach to a class, and I realized how much they have to try to attempt to make something that makes no sense make sense through propaganda. In a way, they just keep talking and going around the edges, avoiding that there is no proof or logic, until they make enough non-relevant but logical points on the side to make the audience believe in their first point which still makes no sense if you know what you're looking for.

Section 5 - A conclusion

In conclusion, the only and last defense is blatent belief in something that does not exist. Unlike the notion of life, liberty, freedom, belief in a person, a thing, an emotion, a change, you choose to become a body of believers in a non-existant entity, similarly to believing in the conspiracy of aliens or that planet Nibaru that was supposed to be visible and was going to crash into us on 2012. Tonight, I will envision a man in the sky who knows all things and supplies me with my daily lettuce for salvation, and I will pray to him for 'salvation' and every time something good happens I will blame him for it. You don't get depressed and go to a 'happy place for depressed people' or what you'd call a House of God (cough cough), you fix your physical self, and mend your problems. I'm sure your God would not like it if you cried to him daily about your problems and never picked yourself up and went on with life. You're better off getting a 'Life: Health and Wellness' book and studying actual issues and solutions.

Now I know some are fanatical believers (basically "I don't give a shit about anything but I label myself as a Christian and we stand together"), but for anyone questioning it.. This is why I typed this.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hey retards !

tl;dr

Plagiarism is a serious federal offense, boy.

[Jurugi]

Re: Hey retards !

Nope. This is something I typed and turned into my Theology Teacher and he really got annoyed by it. It was one of those stories with the annoying teacher who talks too much and tries to baffle his students, but then one student speaks up and confuses/makes an ass out of him infront of everyone. I see so much problems and stuff I could buff up as an adult to make it have more meaning and stuff but hey you're the ones who are "believers in a non-existant entity, similarly to believing in the conspiracy of aliens or that planet Nibaru that was supposed to be visible and was going to crash into us on 2012".

[handmaiden]

Re: Hey retards !

Golly, maybe I should paste in my entire 130 page thesis and see how much space it takes up.

I don't even think my thesis advisor read it; she probably just weighed it on a kitchen scale and thought, "It feels like an A minus."

Uninterestedly Yours,

Handmaiden

[BelieverInGod]

Re: Hey retards !

Golly, maybe I should paste in my entire 130 page thesis and see how much space it takes up.

I don't even think my thesis advisor read it; she probably just weighed it on a kitchen scale and thought, "It feels like an A minus."

Uninterestedly Yours,

Handmaiden

At least your intelligence didn't peak at 13.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Hey retards !

Everything you believe is nonsense and stupidity.

Thank you for telling off the many atheists who go out of their way to join Christian church forums and mock the beliefs of people doing nothing to them.

Atheists are very rude, juvenile, and slow-witted folk, don't you agree?

Nope. This is something I typed and turned into my Theology Teacher and he really got annoyed by it.

This opens up so many questions!

How did you turn a paper into a teacher? Did you use some sort of black magic?

Was your teacher more content being a paper? Is that why he was annoyed at being turned into a teacher?

If you turned your paper into a theology teacher, how can you copy and paste it here? Did you save a draft of the manuscript for the last 4-5 years? You must have; I can't imagine you'd remember the entire poorly-constructed, half-assed, unresearched essay. (Unresearched? Yes. For example, can you show me where the Bible describes Satan as a "red, muscly, horned beast"? You claim it's in there, so show me. Chapter and verse.)

Could you turn that draft you still have into another theology teacher, this time on camera so this amazing feat can be documented?

If I print out your post, which contains the entire draft, what happens? Will it turn into a theology teacher on its own? Or is there an incantation or something?

[Father Maurice Lester]

Re: Hey retards !

The original poster confused me with the thread title.


Should it not of read "Hay retards"?

"Corn retards" is less a play on words but both are fair descriptions.




How many Baptwits does it take to change a light-bulb?


Five. One to hold the bulb and four to drink until the barn spins.




Bless you, my easily distracted digladiaters,
Father Mo





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[HellboundGreaser]

Re: Hey retards !

Maybe we should be more understanding of this poster. He is being crabby because he hasn't been changed today.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Hey retards !

Maybe we should be more understanding of this poster. He is being crabby because he hasn't been changed today.

Looks like you need to do some changing as well, HellboundGreaser, as you are in the express lane to eternal damnation with ten items or less. Do you ever read the Bible? Or do you just cavort with AIDS drizzled savages?