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  • #76
    Re: Stars we'll meet in Heaven

    Originally posted by bishop polisher View Post
    Are there any black folks that y'all are sure made it to heaven??
    And there shall in no wise enter into it any thing that defileth, neither whatsoever worketh abomination,
    or maketh a lie: but they which are written in the Lamb's book of life.
    Revelation 21:27
    Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

    Comment

    • #77
      Re: Stars we'll meet in Heaven

      I can't wait to meet Kevin Sorbo in Heaven!!!

      Star of Hercules, and more recently, God's Not Dead, True Christian™ and defender of the faith and front line fighter in these culture wars, Sorbo is a Soldier of Christ and a gentleman.

      Angry atheists have since forced Access Hollywood to take the video offline, but here's a transcript of what he said concerning the foolishness that is atheism:


      Sorbo: … I’ve seen these guys [atheists] on TV and cable outlets… Atheists actually have, like, chapters and they have, I mean, it’s weird. I see the anger when these guys get on TV! And I’m going, wow, how do you get so angry about something you don’t believe in?

      Robinson: Right…

      Sorbo: I find that very interesting.

      Robinson: Every time I’m around, if I’m ever around an atheist, I think I’m gonna get hit by lightning or something. I just don’t even want to be in the room with them.

      Sorbo: It’s weird how they can get nativity scenes pulled down because they say it offends them. They’re offended by something they don’t believe in. Well, it offends about 90% of people of the country that they take the nativity scenes down, but apparently, the majority doesn’t have a voice in this country anymore, so what are you gonna do?

      …

      Sorbo: What’s interesting, people can say, oh, that doesn’t happen, where students get persecuted at universities because of their belief. It does happen. At the end of the movie, we show 37 court cases — we could’ve shown many more — in the closing credits of major universities being sued by students because they’re being persecuted purely for having a faith in God. What’s the big deal? I mean, live and let live. I’m a live and let live kind of guy. If [you're] an atheist, fine. If you’re an Agnostic, we can talk…
      Robinson: God is telling us now we have to go to a commercial…
      Oh, but he's not just a strong, hunky True Christian™ man who loves the LORD, he's also intelligent and articulate. Consider what he said about the negro riots in Ferguson (again, forced to be taken down):

      Ferguson riots have very little to do with the shooting of the young man. It is an excuse to be the losers these animals truly are. It is a tipping point to frustration built up over years of not trying, but blaming everyone else, The Man, for their failures. It’s always someone else’s fault when you give up. Hopefully this is a reminder to the African Americans ( I always thought we just Americans. Oh, well.) that their President the [sic] voted in has only made things worse for them, not better.

      I bet he has a beautiful singing voice, and I want to stand near him when we sing praises to Christ Jesus for all eternity!

      Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

      Comment

      • #78
        Re: Stars we'll meet in Heaven

        Could we please do a clothing drive and maybe find him and Mr. Putin a couple of shirts that fit? I guess we might have to buy at least one leather Jerkin for Mr Sorbo, Deuteronomy 22:11, unless something rather exotic is donated by one of the brethren.
        sigpic 1 Chronicles 16:15
        Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
        Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
        Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.

        Comment

        • #79
          Re: Stars we'll meet in Heaven

          Goodbye for now, Mr. Cathy. As if inventing that wonderful chicken sandwich with a side of waffle fries is not enough to get a man into Heaven, I'm certain Jesus appreciates your good fight against homomarriage!
          Attached Files
          "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." (Matthew 5:16)

          "But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery." (Matthew 5:32)

          Comment

          • #80
            Re: Stars we'll meet in Heaven

            Originally posted by knob polisher View Post
            What about Liz Taylor, Diana Ross and Eartha Kitt?

            First of all they are all whores so they won't be going to Heaven.

            Good nigresses CAN go to Heaven - but nigra Heaven is a separate and lesser Heaven.

            It's pretty rare though, for a nigra to actually MAKE it to Heaven. Most are so full wanton desire (animal instincts) and have no moral compass to make it in.

            sigpic

            Tweet me Here
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            • #81
              Re: Stars we'll meet in Heaven

              Originally posted by knob polisher View Post
              Are there any black folks that y'all are sure made it to heaven??
              Sure there are. Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, for one. No, wait, he's not dead yet. But I'm sure there have been some ex-Negroes who made it.
              The Christian Right: The Only Right Way to Be a Christian!

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              • #82
                Re: Stars we'll meet in Heaven

                I do so hope we'll get to meet and worship with Forest Gump star, Gary Sinise! Soon he'll be speaking to Pro Normal Sex organization. Wile the group, Legatus, is Catholic (I know, boo!), we might have hope the LORD is working a mighty work for their own salvation. The Holy Ghost has arranged for Governor of Louisiana and exorcism expert, Bobby Jindal, and Fox anchor Bret Baier to also speak at the secretive event in Florida later this month.

                Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

                Comment

                • #83
                  Re: Stars we'll meet in Heaven

                  I knew for sure it was a demon when the subject of the sulfurous smell came up. Witches familiars are usually accompanied by a similarly vile odor.
                  God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11

                  Comment

                  • #84
                    Re: Stars we'll meet in Heaven

                    Originally posted by Sister Christina View Post
                    Our beloved Denmarkian politician Pia Kjærsgaard will without a doubt go to Heaven. Although Danishland is already doomed, she is working hard on keeping everything, that looks just a bit moooslimb, out of the country.
                    Also, she is quite beautiful.



                    Praise the Lord for her presence in our otherwise God-forsaken country.
                    Yes and her soul is so beautiful too .

                    JHL
                    In the name of our Lord.
                    A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool's back. Proverbs 26:3

                    Comment

                    • #85
                      Re: Stars we'll meet in Heaven

                      The very handsome, talented and GODLY Fred Thompson has died. See you in Heaven!




                      NASHVILLE, Tenn. -- Fred Dalton Thompson -- a man with many talents that he employed from Hollywood to Nashville to D.C. -- has died. He was 73.

                      "Fred once said that the experiences he had growing up in small-town Tennessee formed the prism through which he viewed the world and shaped the way he dealt with life," the family statement read. "Fred stood on principle and common sense, and had a deep love for and connection with the people across Tennessee whom he had the privilege to serve in the United States Senate. He enjoyed a hearty laugh, a strong handshake, a good cigar, and a healthy dose of humility. Fred was the same man on the floor of the Senate, the movie studio, or the town square of Lawrenceburg, his home."
                      Former U.S. Senator Fred Thompson dies at 73
                      http://www.cbsnews.com/news/former-senator-fred-thompson-dies/
                      Thompson was known for being versatile, as an actor, lawyer, commentator and the former U.S. Senator from Tennessee


                      The only bad thing he ever did in his life was date that whore, Lori Morgan. But forgave him for that. She is a she devil. She was a bit too old for his taste.



                      So he married a beautiful Christian, probably 25 years younger than him. Lucky gal.

                      sigpic

                      Tweet me Here
                      My GODLY Bio Here

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                      • #86
                        Re: Stars we'll meet in Heaven

                        Sometimes I wonder if Bob Marley has gone to the white man's heaven. He was half white like President Barak Obama.
                        Sing unto God, sing praises to his name: Extol him that rideth upon the heavens By his name JAH, and rejoice before him.-Psalms 68:4

                        Comment

                        • #87
                          Re: Stars we'll meet in Heaven

                          Originally posted by I Man Rastafari View Post
                          Sometimes I wonder if Bob Marley has gone to the white man's heaven. He was half white like President Barak Obama.
                          God hates race-mixing, so I can assure you that your pal "Bob" is currently being anally raped down in the deepest pits of hell 24/7. Like all unrepentant sinners.
                          Who Will Jesus Damn?

                          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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                          • #88
                            Re: Stars we'll meet in Heaven

                            Ill bet my nelly that that wonderful, pro 2nd Amendment True Christian, Charleton Heston, is playing his harp with the angels as we speak!

                            Comment

                            • #89
                              Re: Stars we'll meet in Heaven

                              Originally posted by Brother Harold Porter View Post
                              I fully expect to sit with my mentor Dr. Kent Hovind, PHD when we both come to see Jesus in the next life. A lifetime dedicated to putting the smack down on heathens/false scientists, and winning every single debate he engaged in surely warrants Dr. Hovind a special place in Heaven.

                              Praise Christ!
                              Some of us have been meeting up with Mr Hovind in a rented conference room in the sky. It's a place supplied by the Baby Jesus for everyone who, like Kent and myself, already have a personal relationship with Our Lord. We are discussing the Rapture. It was meant to be last week because the bastard dry cleaners managed to misplace my Rapture gown and have only just now located it. I am picking it up tomorrow, so the modified date for the Rapture begins next Thursday. I hope you people are right with your creator.

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                              • #90
                                Re: Stars we'll meet in Heaven

                                Originally posted by I Man Rastafari View Post
                                Sometimes I wonder if Bob Marley has gone to the white man's heaven. He was half white like President Barak Obama.


                                Being "half-white" is like being "half-sinner". The decent half won't save you on judgement day.

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