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  • Brother Lindh
    Confirmed Enemy of God
    BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
    • Feb 2007
    • 130
    #1

    Godly Chuck Norris

    I see good news and Glad Tidings this morning; the Godly Chuck Norris is foaming at the mouth for the even more Godly Rev. Gov. Huckabee. Godly Chuck is a member of the Godly Texas Rangers who smite evil doers with the Cross mounted in the back of their pickup trucks. Godly Chuck also refuses to mount any of the women Texas Rangers, although they beg because of his Godly beard.

    This will help insure another 8 years of Godly crusade wars from DC. Praise Jesus!
    Tags: None
    • Father Maurice Lester
      Ring-kissing Papist dog
      • Sep 2006
      • 3366
      #2
      Re: Godly Chuck Norris

      Do you mean the twice married Carlos Ray Norris?

      The 'C' actor who makes set props look like good actors in comparison?

      What ever happened to his matrimonial vows?

      Hardly a Christian role model, he is just another depraved Hellywood cast-off claiming to love Jesus long after his cows of immoral actions have left the barn.






      Bless you, my didactic disassembler,
      Father Mo






      A Cardinal in the making.

        Comment

        • eliot mayfield
          God Squad
          True Christian™
          • Sep 2006
          • 9324
          #3
          Re: Godly Chuck Norris

          Chuck Norris is satan's tallywhacker!
          He worships Karate. You are a Christian, or you are a satanist, plain and simple!
          Matthew:
          5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
          5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
          10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
          10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


          sigpic

            Comment

            • Angelwinged-Devil
              Foul Sinner on Moderation
              • Nov 2007
              • 26
              #4
              Re: Godly Chuck Norris

              chuck norris is god, roundhouse kick and bam. God norris doesn't read books, he stares them down until he gets the information he needs.

                Comment

                • Andrew Barrick
                  Confirmed Enemy of God
                  BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                  • Sep 2007
                  • 93
                  #5
                  Re: Godly Chuck Norris

                  Chuck Norris couldn't be farther from the truth if he became a Cathyolic priest. I wish him a speedy descent to a very hot place.

                    Comment

                    • Pastor Ezekiel
                      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                       
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 78555
                      #6
                      Re: Godly Chuck Norris

                      Originally posted by Andrew Barrick View Post
                      Chuck Norris couldn't be farther from the truth if he became a Cathyolic priest. I wish him a speedy descent to a very hot place.
                      I heard that he converted to some chink cult.
                      Who Will Jesus Damn?

                      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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