Freehold Stoning Festival, 2011

[James Dewitt]

We have a new year, and yes a new Stoning Festival to plan for. Last year was our first year and what a great success story it was. We raised almost $400,000 dollars for the Pastors Fund. The kids had a great time. We all learned what a valuable tool stoning is, when following the Word of God.
I have noticed that this year we have a lot of new members, so lets all get together and plan this years event. YIC James

Have You started collecting stones?

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Freehold Stoning Festival, 2011

We have a new year, and yes a new Stoning Festival to plan for. Last year was our first year and what a great success story it was. We raised almost $400,000 dollars for the Pastors Fund. The kids had a great time. We all learned what a valuable tool stoning is, when following the Word of God.
I have noticed that this year we have a lot of new members, so lets all get together and plan this years event. YIC James

Have You started collecting stones?

God Bless you Brother Dewitt.

Yes, what a successful event it was. We had stoning, speakers and coverage in the Des Moines Register. I say full speed ahead with the Stoning Festival in 2011.

JJH, Mayor

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Freehold Stoning Festival, 2011

Where should we keep the stoners until the festival, Brother James?

It's my understanding that the TermiWix facility has some vacant space this time of year.

[James Dewitt]

Re: Freehold Stoning Festival, 2011

God Bless you Brother Dewitt.

Yes, what a successful event it was. We had stoning, speakers and coverage in the Des Moines Register. I say full speed ahead with the Stoning Festival in 2011.

JJH, Mayor

Thank you Mayor Hold, it is my pleasure to chair this event. Its God who commands us to do His bidding.
Exodus 19:13
There shall not an hand touch it, but he shall surely be stoned, or shot through; whether it be beast or man, it shall not live: when the trumpet soundeth long, they shall come up to the mount.

Numbers 15:36
And all the congregation brought him without the camp, and stoned him with stones, and he died; as the LORD commanded Moses.

Joshua 7:25
And Joshua said, Why hast thou troubled us? the LORD shall trouble thee this day. And all Israel stoned him with stones, and burned them with fire, after they had stoned them with stones.

1 Kings 12:18
Then king Rehoboam sent Adoram, who was over the tribute; and all Israel stoned him with stones, that he died. Therefore king Rehoboam made speed to get him up to his chariot, to flee to Jerusalem.

2 Chronicles 24:21
And they conspired against him, and stoned him with stones at the commandment of the king in the court of the house of the LORD.

Matthew 21:35
And the husbandmen took his servants, and beat one, and killed another, and stoned another.

John 8:5
Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?

2 Corinthians 11:25
Thrice was I beaten with rods, once was I stoned, thrice I suffered shipwreck, a night and a day I have been in the deep;

Hebrews 11:37
They were stoned, they were sawn asunder, were tempted, were slain with the sword: they wandered about in sheepskins and goatskins; being destitute, afflicted, tormented;

Where should we keep the stoners until the festival, Brother James?

It's my understanding that the TermiWix facility has some vacant space this time of year.

Rev Rodimer as of yet I have not started the process of importing stones, I assure you that I will be in contact in the weeks to come.

[Tubba Blubba]

Re: Freehold Stoning Festival, 2011

Although I'm not a True Christian, may I come with a suggestion?


To speed up the collection of stones, couldn't the Church "adopt" (these legal mazes now a days!) a few Negro boys from Africa, and have them pick the stones? There would, of course, have to be a True Christian controlling the quality of the stones, but it would really make the labor a lot less stressful.

[James Dewitt]

Re: Freehold Stoning Festival, 2011

Although I'm not a True Christian, may I come with a suggestion?


To speed up the collection of stones, couldn't the Church "adopt" (these legal mazes now a days!) a few Negro boys from Africa, and have them pick the stones? There would, of course, have to be a True Christian controlling the quality of the stones, but it would really make the labor a lot less stressful.

We do not need to import Nigras, we have enough as it is. I hired a few last year to collect stones, the lazy nigras spent the day eating chicken and watermelon.

[Tubba Blubba]

Re: Freehold Stoning Festival, 2011

We do not need to import Nigras, we have enough as it is. I hired a few last year to collect stones, the lazy nigras spent the day eating chicken and watermelon.

Hired? You mean you paid them? Why would you do that when you can have them working for free?

[James Dewitt]

Re: Freehold Stoning Festival, 2011

Hired? You mean you paid them? Why would you do that when you can have them working for free?

It was not me that freed them, contact Abe Lincoln. I am just going with secular law at this point.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Freehold Stoning Festival, 2011

Rev Rodimer as of yet I have not started the process of importing stones, I assure you that I will be in contact in the weeks to come.

Oh, STONES!

I'm sorry, I thought you were collecting STONERS. You know, hippie pothead baby-eaters!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Freehold Stoning Festival, 2011

Hired? You mean you paid them? Why would you do that when you can have them working for free?

Because a few years ago, the liberals outlawed slavery!

Even though GOD WANTS US TO OWN SLAVES, we aren't allowed to because of godmocking liberals!

[Janine Walker]

Re: Freehold Stoning Festival, 2011

I asked my dad and he said we can definitely go over. Maybe I'll find someone who would be an appropriate husband for me! I also hope I get to throw the first stone!

My dad said he's going to get a life-size poster of Bob Dylan so we can give a new meaning to the song "like a rolling stone", unless of course one of you can somehow get the actual Bob Dylan out there.. Maybe we can tell him he can get stoned for free, we all know hippies love free stuff.

Either way, I'm coming to Freehold and I can't wait to see y'alls wonderful service.

In Christ, Janine Walker

[TC Patriot]

Re: Freehold Stoning Festival, 2011

When Jesus looks down form heaven and sees a good old fashioned he weeps tears of joy.