Important question regarding possible Damnation...

[Amor Cristi]

Friends, I need an answer, quickly...

As True Christians, you advocate circumcision, correct?


My problem is... I'm half circumcised. The doctor made a mistake, a crooked cut while doing the procedure. Technically I'm circumcised, however I fear that GOD will disagree. My problem is that no doctor will aid me to repair my condition save those damned liberal Northerners, whose hands reek the scent of Catholicism and Atheism. Where will I end up, friends, when my time cometh? With the s or with the ?

[Father Thomas Martin]

Re: Important question regarding possible Damnation...

Why don't you like Catholics?...Your title's in Latin, right?

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: Important question regarding possible Damnation...

Why don't you like Catholics?...Your title's in Latin, right?

Because he's trying to avoid eternal damnation, pope-on-a-rope! I also suspect he's not attracted to young boys neither, but I could be wrong on that.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Important question regarding possible Damnation...

Friends, I need an answer, quickly...

As True Christians, you advocate circumcision, correct?


My problem is... I'm half circumcised. The doctor made a mistake, a crooked cut while doing the procedure. Technically I'm circumcised, however I fear that GOD will disagree. My problem is that no doctor will aid me to repair my condition save those damned liberal Northerners, whose hands reek the scent of Catholicism and Atheism. Where will I end up, friends, when my time cometh? With the s or with the ?

If it offends you, then cut it off.

Matthew 5:29 And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

5:30 And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

But also understand that God hates the dickless. so be really, really careful.

He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD.--Dt.23:1

For your convenience, and for a very reasonable Love Offering, Landover Baptist Church offers a do-it-yourself circumcision kit! Good luck to you, friend.

[Deaner]

Re: Important question regarding possible Damnation...

Why don't you like Catholics?

Because he doesn't like being sodomized repeatedly by fat, chubby men who talk to statues and claim to represent Jesus Christ. It's really a no-brainer.

[Amor Cristi]

Re: Important question regarding possible Damnation...

Why don't you like Catholics?...Your title's in Latin, right?

Actually, Lady and Gentlemen, I am Catholic. As a matter of fact, I'm also from the Northeast, and a Democrat. And to add to my "sins" I teach CCD classes every Sunday.

If that maketh me damned, so be it. Your Hell sounds like a most pleasurable place to be.

Yes, my title IS in Latin, thank you for bringing some intelligence to this site, and please, members of the Landover Baptist Church, do not forget that JESUS WAS A JEW.

As for my foreskin, I think I'll keep the half that's there. Apparently, when I choose to fornicate, as I am single and sexually active, I hear the ladies truly LOVE it.

Hillary in '08. Peace.

[Mrs. Jemima Cameltoe]

Re: Important question regarding possible Damnation...

Actually, Lady and Gentlemen, I am Catholic. As a matter of fact, I'm also from the Northeast, and a Democrat. And to add to my "sins" I teach CCD classes every Sunday.

If that maketh me damned, so be it. Your Hell sounds like a most pleasurable place to be.

Yes, my title IS in Latin, thank you for bringing some intelligence to this site, and please, members of the Landover Baptist Church, do not forget that JESUS WAS A JEW.

As for my foreskin, I think I'll keep the half that's there. Apparently, when I choose to fornicate, as I am single and sexually active, I hear the ladies truly LOVE it.

Hillary in '08. Peace.

He'll be here all week folks. Try the veal and don't forget to tip your waitresses on the way out. Yo.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Important question regarding possible Damnation...

As for my foreskin, I think I'll keep the half that's there. Apparently, when I choose to fornicate, as I am single and sexually active, I hear the ladies truly LOVE it.

Why would the ladies care one way or another when you spill your own seed? God kills people for doing that, you know.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Important question regarding possible Damnation...

Actually, Lady and Gentlemen, I am Catholic. As a matter of fact, I'm also from the Northeast, and a Democrat. And to add to my "sins" I teach CCD classes every Sunday.

You really had us fooled. Not.

If that maketh me damned, so be it. Your Hell sounds like a most pleasurable place to be.

I suppose that hell would be preferable to being a papist. good point there.

Yes, my title IS in Latin, thank you for bringing some intelligence to this site, and please, members of the Landover Baptist Church, do not forget that JESUS WAS A JEW.

If Jesus was a joo, then why aren't you?

As for my foreskin, I think I'll keep the half that's there. Apparently, when I choose to fornicate, as I am single and sexually active, I hear the ladies truly LOVE it.

Hillary in '08. Peace.

I don't think that tiny bit of skin is going to help you much, papist dog. If you think for one moment that Hellary Cliton will allow you or any man to keep his tallywacker once she's elected, then you are stupider than I thought. A vote for her is a vote for mass castration and mandatory abortion, forced lezbeanism and men scrubbing floors. I'd rather vote for that mormon fool Mitt Romney.

[Actor Incumbant Potato]

Re: Important question regarding possible Damnation...

If you think for one moment that Hellary Cliton will allow you or any man to keep his tallywacker once she's elected, then you are stupider than I thought. [/quote]


Now that is enormously witty and clever. hellary Clinton!
Where do you come up with these little nuggets of brilliance?!

[Wash O'Hanley]

Re: Important question regarding possible Damnation...

If you think for one moment that Hellary Cliton will allow you or any man to keep his tallywacker once she's elected, then you are stupider than I thought.

Now that is enormously witty and clever. hellary Clinton!
Where do you come up with these little nuggets of brilliance?!

Coming from someone that can't use the quote tags...

[Actor Incumbant Potato]

Re: Important question regarding possible Damnation...

42 points ay?
Just like that..
I reach out from the other side of the world, try to connect with my fellow true Christians. Granted I did genuinely read their post (sorry: your post). And as my mum & the bible taught me again and again and again looked in my heart to ask the honest questions that came up. And what do I get in return. 42 points. Bonus points I thought at first. I have connected! but no. Last warning smiting points...
and I can't even reply directly - have to revert to abusing this forum that hasn't got anything to do with this tiny matter.
Anyways: if you feel you have to protect your carefully constructed world of tongue-in-cheeck, har-har, what we are actually saying..., but only the clued on understand..., Lordie aren't we witty, etc. by banning me instead of entering a discussion (you would say that after 10.000+ posts you could spare a few) , be my guest.
I grant you permission to ban me.

I do however also grant you permission to reconsider.

Surprise me pastor.

Kind regards.

[Wash O'Hanley]

Re: Important question regarding possible Damnation...

No Dice.

Get rid of the naked angel baby and we'll talk, pervert.

[Actor Incumbant Potato]

Re: Important question regarding possible Damnation...

Coming from someone that can't use the quote tags...

Mate, I'm glad i've actually made my way across the interweb from pron to baptists forums. Don't up the pressure by making me do quote tags and other modern stuff..

Hey, whattayaknow! it worked

[Actor Incumbant Potato]

Re: Important question regarding possible Damnation...

You could be though.


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Kindly fill in quote tags as you please - apparently very important to you

Changing your posts to make them say whatever I want them to is also important to me- Wash O'Hanley