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  • A nice man
    Confirmed Enemy of God
    BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
    • Jan 2008
    • 1
    #1

    Hello

    Hi, I am a nice man. I was born in Kentucky but my parents died so I was raised by some Japanese immigrants, so I am now Buddhist. I started to realize my homosexual feelings after I began to play Super Mario Bros. 2. It really is a terrific game. I hope to have a lot of fun here!!!
    Tags: None
    • One-eyed Jack
      True Christian™
      True Christian™
      • Nov 2007
      • 1092
      #2
      Re: Hello

      Super Mario Brothers. Oh.

      Well, that's not very interesting. This isn't really a gamer forum.

      We are interested in a much larger contest -- the everlasting contest between good and evil. A struggle carried out in the real world, not on a flatscreen console. A contest in which you risk your human soul...not just foolish points on a silly digital counter.

      When the famous prophet said --

      And Saul said unto his servants, Provide me now a man that can play well, and bring him to me. 1 Samuel 16:7

      -- he wasn't talking about a dweeb with overdeveloped thumbs and an underdeveloped brain. No, the mighty Prophet Samuel was part of God's great testing of mankind! The divine Story which will, in the end, encompass all of human history and shew forth like a beacon of bacon over the entire EARTH!

      Wait, not "beacon of bacon"! I meant beacon of light!

      Sorry.

      Now don't waste our time with lame posts and silly drivel. Gird up your loins and let's have some wit!

      ~~ OEJ

        Comment

        • Pastor Ezekiel
          Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
           
          • Sep 2006
          • 78556
          #3
          Re: Hello

          Originally posted by A nice man View Post
          Hi, I am a nice man. I was born in Kentucky but my parents died so I was raised by some Japanese immigrants, so I am now Buddhist. I started to realize my homosexual feelings after I began to play Super Mario Bros. 2. It really is a terrific game. I hope to have a lot of fun here!!!
          None of that is true. Jesus cannot be tricked with your filthy lies. I'll bet you are a 14 year old queer who sneaks into his big sister's room and tries on her clothes when she's out fornicating with her clients.

          Repent now boy.

          EDIT: I was right. And he was a dago to boot. GONG!
          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

            Comment

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