Request for membership

[MacDaddy]

Hello,

I feel that I am ready to be a member of LBC.

I have already taken a wife from this church as proven by the below threads and attached receipt.

Deuteronomy 22:28-29 plainly states, " If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days."

and JennyD acceptance of 50 shekels price

Yeah, right after you pay my earthly father fifty shekels.

and of course this thread which clarifies everything

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=4419

I have also visited PayPal as proven below. If I seem to be moving too fast and have offended anyone, I am certainly willing to put in some volunteer time as mentioned here.

I have a great idea, I will volunteer to head up a "Shunning Volunteer Group".

Each week the Senior Pastors could give me a (hit) list and my committee and I will carry out punishments before the next service.

I'm hoping this volunteer service will help LBC realize how sincere I am in wanting to become a member, and I will do all that is asked (no questions asked) for the LBC.

[Father Thomas Martin]

Re: Request for membership

$50K...And they say we're greedy...

[Seeker]

Re: Request for membership

There is a sucker born every minute but Pastor Zeke does have some lovin good 'ol mercy from time to time.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Re: Request for membership

$50K...And they say we're greedy...

He'll get every penny he paid for back onehundredfold in heaven....When $9.99 given to the Catholic Church will only buy 9.5 ounces of 'sensual lubricant"....And maybe a dollop of hemmeroid cream for the poor altarboy it got used on.

Heaven is expensive to maintain, you know. It's not like Jesus has illegal immigrants to do the work, like down here in "Lower America".

[JennyD]

Re: Request for membership

Hello,

I feel that I am ready to be a member of LBC.

I have already taken a wife from this church as proven by the below threads and attached receipt.




and JennyD acceptance of 50 shekels price

As I said, as soon as you give it to my earthly father.

He was last seen 21 years ago in a thresher in Chicago. You just dive on in after him, bub, and hand him that 50 shekels. As soon as he says OK, I'll be happy to marry you!