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  • Born Again Bob
    True Christian™
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 2318

    #1

    BAB's Little Thoughts

    Dear Friends,

    Below is a collection of thoughts I have shared with our visitors. The context of each is probably pretty self evident. Enjoy!

    Yours in Him,
    bab

    ***
    Dear Friends,
    • Zip your yap and READ THE BIBLE.
    • When maggots spew forth from your lady bits, you will know why.
    • God made, and loves, ALL vegetables.
    • The bitter fruit of the Tree of Miscegenation is plain for all to see!
    • When, God, WHEN will you smite the wicked with anal boils as thou did of old?
    • God is love? Tell that to the people of Ai.
    • If a 400-pound man could win an Olympic windsprint, would you still call him fat?
    • God hates you.
    • It means you'll be a receptacle for the demon-seed of the Infernal Bull as he ruts and spews for all of eternity.
    • In any event, detatch said skin and send it with your "love offering."
    • Might I suggest a simpler, 100% effective, all-natural solution to your throbbing libido?
    • I DEFY you to find anything about 42 midgets fighting lions in the Holy Bible!
    • Said the man with no cattle.
    • Try using a Bible not written in crayon by child molesting feminazi liberals.
    • You better watch your step, hussy, before the Baby Jesus pops YOU full of cancer!
    • Is this a British thing, like meat pies, naming children Nigel and Leslie, and sodomy in boarding schools?
    • And you're getting reamed as you write, I'm confident.
    • Here I am, working like a sucker, while you kick back and enjoy delicious malt liquor beverages and fried chickens on the government tit.
    • Now finish shining my shoes, lil' crackbaby!
    • This is not a thread to chronicle the erstwhile exploits of your shrivelled vagina.
    • That's what happens every time a Wiccan molests a low-lying shrub.
    • Another clear-cut example of reverse plagurism.
    • Bobo, my helper monkey, will use your emptied out skull as a drinking vessel.
    • Remember, God wrote the Second Amendment.
    • I would recommend you get acupuncture, but I know you are dirt poor.
    • Reeeeeally? This Alpine Larch tells a different story!
    • How much do you know about the metric system and international banking?
    • There seems to be an emerging consensus for hermaphrodite.
    • Again, you need to dial DOWN the racism, my swarthy shylocking friend.
    • Until there's a cure, there's electroshock.
    • It is certainly NOT the case that all blacks show black behavior!
    • Work out "who gets top billing" on your own dime.
    • Whose opinion do you value more highly -- TV's Blossom or the Lord of Hosts?
    • Can you present a Biblical basis for the use of marijuana?
    • I have many friends among the hellbound!
    • The Gospel of Thomas is not in the KJV 1611. You might as well ask us what is tattooed on Sharon Osbourne's inner thigh.
    • You are mad with jealousy -- you know that we are pure as the driven snow!
    • Hadn't you pledged to participate in liturgical wrestling?
    • Plus you get a free inflatable mattress and a lifetime supply of fig spread.
    • Surely there's an animal whose intenstines you have not yet incorporated into your national cuisine!
    • I don't know what it means to "high five," but please remember to keep these forums squeaky-clean for Jesus!
    • On the glorious rainbow of ethnic diversity, which color would you say best represents you: lily-white or other?
    • I'm already a True Christian™ -- there's no room left for improvement!
    • Have you considered jamming a fork in your eye?
    • Any more positive press for wrist-slitting and we'll subject you to another all night Biblathon at Brother Dave's house.
    • My favorite is Bob Mackie Barbie, a special Limited Edition that accompanied the 45th Anniversary.
    • Why do I get the feeling you're more comfortable writing letters with individual words torn from magazines?
    • Don't get Brother Dave started on airline peanuts, then!
    • Remember, "Righteousness comes only through Jesus Christ...NEVER from an apron!"
    • We will ALWAYS forgive you for leaving.
    Yours in Him,
    bab
  • Virginia Day Templeton
    Christ's Battle Axe
     
    • Dec 2006
    • 2827

    #2
    Re: BAB's Little Thoughts

    GLORY! Have you contacted Hallmark about doing a greeting card line?
    sigpic

    Comment

    • SUV
      True Christian™ Princess
      The Driving Force behind RA12
      Have at it, anytime!
      • Sep 2006
      • 11027

      #3
      Re: BAB's Little Thoughts

      Those adorable Chubby cheeks - and a great big Chubby old brain to go with 'em! Glory!

      BAB, can I add one? Please?

      * Though "Groundhog Day" isn't until next week, I say KILL THE GROUNDHOG NOW! Not bad enough he's a despicable rodent, but remember how he 'bitched' us all last year! Annie get your Gun!!!

      Comment

      • Glendora Christianson
        Spiritual Mother of LBC
        True Christian™
        • Sep 2006
        • 2329

        #4
        Re: BAB's Little Thoughts

        What an intellectual collection! And I am so glad to hear that Bobo still has a healthy appetite.
        We are truly experiencing a dimensional shift in spirituality; away from false religion and toward the one true religion (LBC - of course!).
        Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.

        Comment

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