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  • SUV
    True Christian™ Princess
    The Driving Force behind RA12
    Have at it, anytime!
    • Sep 2006
    • 11027
    #1

    JOYOUS Bar-B-Q/Auto Sale Weekend, Christians!

    So REMEMBER to get enough charcoal!!!

    Those of you with Dead Soldiers might even Wish to breeze past the Courthouse, where there'll be lots of Preaching, Praying,
    Flag-Waving, and the Shooting off of Guns

    But please leave those awful gimps and crippled vets at Home - they always seem to put a damper on things
    Tags: None
    • James Hutchins
      True Christian™
      Just a Regular Nice Guy
       
      • Jun 2009
      • 29457
      #2
      Re: JOYOUS Bar-B-Q/Auto Sale Weekend, Christians!

      I am all stocked and ready. I have two five gallon cans of premium unleaded to get my BBQ off to a roaring start and ten bags of Kingsfords best.

      A few of my sons welded up a enourmous pig smoker out of two 55 gallon drums.

      Tell me, after you have to coals, good and hot, how do you hold the pig down so it does not try to get away?
      Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
      Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
      Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
      Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
      Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
      Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

        Comment

        • SUV
          True Christian™ Princess
          The Driving Force behind RA12
          Have at it, anytime!
          • Sep 2006
          • 11027
          #3
          Re: JOYOUS Bar-B-Q/Auto Sale Weekend, Christians!

          Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post
          Tell me, after you have to coals, good and hot, how do you hold the pig down so it does not try to get away?
          They have perfected this technique in the South, Brother James. I have seen so many signs with piggies ready to jump into the flames with smiles on their faces, Bless their fatty little hearts!

          This is but a pale example of some I've seen:


          I do Pray that all Good Christians are invited

            Comment

            • SUV
              True Christian™ Princess
              The Driving Force behind RA12
              Have at it, anytime!
              • Sep 2006
              • 11027
              #4
              Re: JOYOUS Bar-B-Q/Auto Sale Weekend, Christians!


              Even the secular media is in on the fun - Praise!

                Comment

                • Pastor Ezekiel
                  Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                   
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 78556
                  #5
                  Re: JOYOUS Bar-B-Q/Auto Sale Weekend, Christians!

                  I hope everyone* will enjoy my annual Memorial Day barbecue.


                  *Platinum Tithers only
                  Who Will Jesus Damn?

                  Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                  Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                  Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                    Comment

                    • SUV
                      True Christian™ Princess
                      The Driving Force behind RA12
                      Have at it, anytime!
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 11027
                      #6
                      Re: JOYOUS Bar-B-Q/Auto Sale Weekend, Christians!

                      Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                      I hope everyone* will enjoy my annual Memorial Day barbecue.


                      *Platinum Tithers only
                      Um, Pastor Ezekiel, might a Tinfoil Tither get one of those eyes, if they haven't melted too much?

                        Comment

                        • SUV
                          True Christian™ Princess
                          The Driving Force behind RA12
                          Have at it, anytime!
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 11027
                          #7
                          Re: JOYOUS Bar-B-Q/Auto Sale Weekend, Christians!


                          While climbing into those SUVs today to go to a Bobby-Q or Auto Sale to get a bigger SUV - if you're not too busy Texting or listening to the Good Book - here's a song for the Family to sing. Patriotic as Born in the USA!


                          I only remember some of the words; it sounds like it is Something Very Holy:


                          Hear the sound of the falling rain
                          Coming down like an Armageddon flame

                          Hear the DoGs howling out of key
                          To a Hymn called "Faith and Misery"

                          On Holiday

                          Another protester has crossed the line
                          To find the Money's on the other side

                          Can I get another Amen?
                          There's a Flag wrapped around a score of Men

                          Zieg Heil to the President GasMan
                          Bombs away is your Punishment
                          Pulverize the Eiffel towers
                          Who criticize your Government

                          Bang, bang goes the broken glass
                          Kill all the fags that don't agree
                          Trials by fire, setting fire

                            Comment

                            • SUV
                              True Christian™ Princess
                              The Driving Force behind RA12
                              Have at it, anytime!
                              • Sep 2006
                              • 11027
                              #8
                              Re: JOYOUS Bar-B-Q/Auto Sale Weekend, Christians!

                              I just thought of another one with a catchy Christian-style beat. But I hesitate to recommend it as it obviously wasn't big with JESUS:

                              "I don't want to be buried
                              In a pet semetary
                              I don't want to Live my Life again."

                                Comment

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