[Mistress Cookie]

Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD

Sister Cookie, I am already working with the youngster in my private study on Saturday afternoons. We are focusing on oral and facial muscle exercises to improve his speech, and repetitive motion calisthenics for motor skill and coordination rehabilitation.

Sadly, there has been no improvement as of yet, but I still have hope through the power of Jesus Christ in prayer, and we will continue our sessions for the time being. May he one day again praise our Lord at the top of his young voice.

Oh this is so good of you, Brother Porter!! Jesus(tm) will surely bless you for your trouble!

I am so relieved that he is in good True Christian™ hands!! He was wandering the streets looking unkempt due to (I guess) his mother's depression. I hope he's received a good bath? I saw his father turn the hose on him two weeks ago out in the yard....but that might have been it?

[WWJDnow]

Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD

As some of you know, the Colby boy on Chestnut Road was thrown from his horse last month, then kicked in the head. He's been wandering around the street muttering, and has been rendered by the doctors retarded.

That's awful. Do we know why it happened? Was God punishing the boy for some sin, or maybe punishing the boy's parents? Given that they're True Christians(TM), that seems pretty unlikely, but original sin comes back to kick all of us in the butt at one time or another. Or maybe God is trying to test the parents' faith--that happens all the time. Or God had to do it to fulfil His divine plan. And we can never rule the Devil out in cases like this.

I'll ask Jesus and let you know what He says.

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD

Don't some people get a "Once Saved, Always Saved" clause in the Bible© ? ?

Maybe, since he was Saved™ and a good church-goer before the accident, he's still covered in case of injury?

Jesus would never let a horse kick a TRULY SAVED person in the head so hard that it made him into a retarded. The way I see it, since the Lord smited him, He thought he deserved it for some reason.

Figuring on his age and all, I wouldn't be at all surprised if wasn't abusing himself 24/7. Lots of your unsaved teens are big on the masturbation. I'm sure he deserved having his brains bashed in. God never does ANYTHING unless He's got danged good reason.

[Mistress Cookie]

Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD

Jesus would never let a horse kick a TRULY SAVED person in the head so hard that it made him into a retarded. The way I see it, since the Lord smited him, He thought he deserved it for some reason.

Yes...I do see what you men mean. God™s ways are indeed mysterious!

It's so pitiful seeing him wandering around the streets and our backyards, though. I get the feeling Daddy Colby blames him for the mother becoming depressed, and locks him outside during the day. Of course he can't attend school now, with the other children.

I'm going to leave a bowl of cooked hamburger and vegetables outside my back door, but I certainly won't let him in. (No silverware with it, though...he might take it.)

[Brother_Percy]

Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD

I don't want to seem heartless here, but I'm considered somewhat of an expert on retards, and I can assure you, you can't teach these dumb slobbering stammering staggering spastics a thing. You hear the saying "You can't teach an old dog new tricks"? Well, you cant teach a retard ANY tricks. They are as dumb as a box of frogs, and will never have the mental capacity to understand or accept Jesus as their Lord and personal Savior.

Can you imagine having the Pastor round for tea or whatever, and you have one of these spackers sitting in a puddle of it's own drool, stinking the place up with adult diapers on? Then the Pastor tries to teach it to say the name of Jesus, but it keeps saying "uuuuhhh....Juuubbbusss". How embarrassing!

Remember what the Bible says about how we should treat kids who bring shame to their parents -

Proverbs 23:23-26
Buy the truth, and sell it not; also wisdom, and instruction, and understanding. He that begetteth a wise child shall have joy of him. Thy father and thy mother shall be glad, and she that bare thee shall rejoice. My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways.

Proverbs 19:13
A foolish son is the calamity of his father

The Bible can't be clearer on this - a foolish son is the calamity of his father, and gives his parents no joy! Therefore he MUST be punished!

Proverbs 19:26,29
He that wasteth his father, and chaseth away his mother, is a son that causeth shame, and bringeth reproach. Judgments are prepared for scorners, and stripes for the back of fools.

Proverbs 22:15
Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

Proverbs 23:9,13-14
Speak not in the ears of a fool: for he will despise the wisdom of thy words. Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from Hell.

Yes, the first course of action is beatings - but no amount of beatings can make a retard child into a 'normal' child. Yes, a retard child will always be a retard! Therefore, there is only one course of action to be taken -

Deuteronomy 21:18-21
If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them: Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice. And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die.

Unfortunately our Secular Laws prevent us from carrying out God's clear instructions on retarded children, so I recon the best thing to do would be to just lock it in the cellar, and give it a loaded gun to play with. It's for the best, believe me.

And please try to remember, retards aren't even human, so it's not like they really matter anyways.

Amen!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD

The only way to get the retardeds to know Jesus is to beat it into them.

But I've never seen one that survived long enough to accept Jesus, so...

[Dr Laurence Niles]

I'm going to leave a bowl of cooked hamburger and vegetables outside my back door, but I certainly won't let him in. (No silverware with it, though...he might take it.)

I would be careful about that: it might imprint on you and think you are it's mother.

Jesus has touched me.
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[Mistress Cookie]

Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD

Well, I'll be. That damn Colby boy flung a lot of the food I left out around the yard, and even chipped one of my good Corningware bowls.

(It was the blue one, too. One of my favorites.)

It seems like no good deed goes unpunished.
.

[John W. Booke]

Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD

Oh, Mistress Cookie! It's a good thing that you didn't leave the silverware you mentioned him not wanting to steal with the good bowl that was broken. He would have undoubtedly made off with it, even though you would have most likely encountered the cutlery strewn about someone's yard later in the day. Retarded boys don't really know the value of such things.

JWB

[Betty Sue]

Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD

Pastor jerry gave thsi book to my pa and dhe used to read idT TO ME AT night

[BelieverInGod]

Re: HELPING THE RETARDED TO KNOW GOD

Well, I'll be. That damn Colby boy flung a lot of the food I left out around the yard, and even chipped one of my good Corningware bowls.

(It was the blue one, too. One of my favorites.)

It seems like no good deed goes unpunished.
.

Your CORNINGWARE

He's so simple he doesn't understand how important that stuff is?!?!!!!?!!!

Good thing you didn't leave the silverware out, you wouldn't want to be forked in the middle of the night.

PS: This is why I don't let my Corningware out of the house. If I'm going to lose something, I'd rather lose disposable aluminum or some other cheap dish.