[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Re: I'm a REAL CHRISTIAN

YES! I will be tithing exactly in accordance with the apostle Paul's tithing advice.

PRAISE JESUS

Brother, I am glad to hear that.

II Corinthians 9
6 But this I say, He which soweth sparingly shall reap also sparingly; and he which soweth bountifully shall reap also bountifully.
7 Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver.

If you are only giving because you feel like you have to, then you aren't saved. If you cheap out, don't expect any favors from God.

Therefore, give generously and cheerfully! God will repay you several times over (see below).

8 And God is able to make all grace abound toward you; that ye, always having all sufficiency in all things, may abound to every good work:

God will make sure you have everything you need.

9 (As it is written, He hath dispersed abroad; he hath given to the poor: his righteousness remaineth for ever.
10 Now he that ministereth seed to the sower both minister bread for your food, and multiply your seed sown, and increase the fruits of your righteousness

When deciding how much to tithe, don't worry about your own needs. God will not only make sure your needs are met, but you will be repaid severalfold.

That winking emoticon appears in the original text of the KJV. God is letting you know he's got you covered. However, if you are cheaping out on your tithing, it is proof that you don't trust God.

Praise the sweet name of Jesus!

Pastor Billy-Reuben

[Brother Lindh]

Re: I'm a REAL CHRISTIAN

That's nice, Falsie! And make it snappy, Jesus needs new clothes for Easter! Amen!

Yes, indeed Godly Sister Noddy, one must not forget tithing. But Jesus not only needs new Easter rags, He also needs a transfusion. Especially this time of year.
Many True Christians forget not only the Holy Hemorrhaging as a result of Roman Catholic spears and nails, but also annual drainage used cleansing souls. Fortunately, Jesus can use A,B, AB, O, AO, OB, XO, X,Y, rabbit and lamb type blood, so there’s no excuse for not donating. Do you have to go to the Red Cross to donate? No! You can slit your wrists or those of others in the privacy of your own home and the blood will flow skyward into His Godly Veins, Praise the Lord!

Of course, I’m always available to help with a neck nip if the donor objects.

[Sister Noddy]

Re: I'm a REAL CHRISTIAN

YES! I will be tithing exactly in accordance with the apostle Paul's tithing advice.

PRAISE JESUS

That's nice, Falsie! And make it snappy, Jesus needs new clothes for Easter! Amen!

[Unfalsifiable]

Re: I'm a REAL CHRISTIAN

Amen, pal. I hope that this time you are well and truly Saved™.

Have you contacted our accountants yet to set up your Tithing schedule?

Now is not the time to be stingy, pal.

YES! I will be tithing exactly in accordance with the apostle Paul's tithing advice.

PRAISE JESUS

[ForGodsSake]

Re: I'm a REAL CHRISTIAN

Praise the LORD another one saved.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: I'm a REAL CHRISTIAN

So, what exactly did he to become "saved" all of a sudden?

He accepted Christ into his heart and repented of his sins.

[Ali al-Rashid]

Re: I'm a REAL CHRISTIAN

So, what exactly did he to become "saved" all of a sudden?

[Miss Maisie]

Re: I'm a REAL CHRISTIAN

I hope you really are this time, Falsie. Amen.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: I'm a REAL CHRISTIAN

Amen, pal. I hope that this time you are well and truly Saved™.

Have you contacted our accountants yet to set up your Tithing schedule?

Now is not the time to be stingy, pal.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: I'm a REAL CHRISTIAN

I actually believe in God, people always tell me I am crazy but I do.

I FIRMLY believe that Jesus Christ saved me, washed my clean with his blood. I believe in what the Bible, the WHOLE bible says, not just random verses taken out of context.

I am so much happier now I can wake up in the morning knowing that life is great and that one day I will be home with the Lord. I'm sorry if anyone thinks I'm stupid for doing this, but it will be you roasting in hell when you die, and fearing your death every second of your living life. Because that is where it ends for you.

Who receives it? Can I get an AMEN?

AMEN and HALLELUJAH! Praise the Lord, you are on FIRE with the Holy Spirit!

[Pastor Billy-Reuben]

Re: I'm a REAL CHRISTIAN

Who receives it? Can I get an AMEN?

AMEN!

Deut 27:26 Cursed be he that confirmeth not all the words of this law to do them. And all the people shall say, Amen.

[Unfalsifiable]

Re: I'm a REAL CHRISTIAN

I don't know why. I live here with my mom and dad in Exodus Acres. Did I do something wrong again? I don't wanna get a wippin!

How old are you?


Anyway, praise jesus everyone, I just felt so joyful I thought I ought to make this post. I was Jesus inspired!

[Sister Noddy]

Re: I'm a REAL CHRISTIAN

I don't know why. I live here with my mom and dad in Exodus Acres. Did I do something wrong again? I don't wanna get a wippin!

What are you talking about? Why don't you introduce yourself in the introduction forum, instead of hijacking Falsie's thread, troll boy?

[Justina Thyme]

Re: I'm a REAL CHRISTIAN

I've been having sort of a dreary day. Thank you, Brother Unfalsifiable, for your uplifting post. Another soul safe in the arms of Jesus!


GLORY!

[Danny Jones]

Re: I'm a REAL CHRISTIAN

I don't know why. I live here with my mom and dad in Exodus Acres. Did I do something wrong again? I don't wanna get a wippin!