Belgium, Here I Come!

[Pfc. James Nye]

Hello. As some of you may know, I am very old. Others of you don't know it. But whether you know it or not, I am STILL old. It's like that thing you don't want to talk about, and then it's too late.

As you get old, you start to think of the things that you left undone.

For some fellas, they think of that doll they met at a wang-dang-doodle and could have married. Not me. I always think about that little backwards country I almost liberated from the Hun.

I decided, what they hey, I'm going to liberate Belgium for good.

Time to pack:

* Military Issued Bible
* Uniform with helmet
* Colt 45 and holster
* Ammo Pouch
* Artillery Clinometer (just in case)
* Bayonet
* Messkit, Bacon & Condiments Can, Canteen Assembly, Tommy's Cooker Stove
* Map of German-occupied territories
* Gas mask (have to make time to field test at some point)
* Wool blanket
* Depends(sm) Adult Incontinence Products

I guess I'll get this stuff to the airport by taxi. I could march, but I'm so brittle.

I will report back when the wind of freedom marches through the streets of Brussels in triumphant fal-de-rall, banging on the back of that wonderful full-figured gal, LIBERTY!

"Chopper" Nye

[Wide-Open]

Re: Belgium, Here I Come!

Glory! Sir Nye!

May you finally definitely totaly free Belgium from its oppressors!

If you are interested, I know a place in Brussels where they are selling camouflaged zimmer frames at half price!

I hope to meet up with you, and if we do, I hope you won't shoot me. Pastor Al has asked me to become a pretend Mooslim, so I'm growing a beard and sometimes wear a funny dress.

I'll attach a picture of myself, so you know who not to shoot.

Yours being Liberated,

Wide-Open

[Pfc. James Nye]

Re: Belgium, Here I Come!

Hello. Some setbacks.

I got to the airport, looking to get into one of those Tin Goose. I asked what was the line for Stout Airlines, because I had a voucher good for one free flight. They said it went out of business! New Deal my patoot.

PanAm wasn't there either. So I just chose one of the others, Jamaica Air.

Then they asked for my passport as i.d. Not only did I have my passport, I had my parents' too. But the girl behind the counter said this isn't any passport. There's no expiration date on it. And the picture is of a guy about 20 years old. I showed her my parent's, where I was listed with my dad, mom, brother, and our servants Lettie and Clyde. No go.

Now somebody comes up and says he is from Homeland Defense. Like Germany! And he says I need to get a new passport with an expiration date! So then, I guess, when it expired, I'd die, or worse yet, not be an American anymore. So I said he could take that offer and put it where the monkey got his nuts.

I ran away (strategic retreat) and with my bayonet I established strategic dominance in the taxi line. Got home. No expiration date, thank you.

So, for those keeping score, like this Wild Owl fella (hi):

For Freedom:
Me
USA
Belgium

For Central Powers:
Germany
Air Ports
Jamaica

Live to fight another day. Another gd day. Blood on my teeth and a curse on my lips. Also, a taxi receipt.

"Chopper" Nye

[SUV]

Re: Belgium, Here I Come!

I have what might prove to be a bit of an issue for both of you Godly Men:

Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Belgium (fictional country)
Posts: 1,877

[Wide-Open]

Re: Belgium, Here I Come!

[HIDDEN MESSAGE]
I know sister SUV, but the old man wants it so badly. I don't want to take away his dream.

He'll never get to board a plane, so I propose we just let him be?
[/HIDDEN MESSAGE]

I have no idea what you meant there, Sister SUV.

[SUV]

Re: Belgium, Here I Come!

[HIDDEN MESSAGE]
I know sister SUV, but the old man wants it so badly. I don't want to take away his dream.

He'll never get to board a plane, so I propose we just let him be?
[/HIDDEN MESSAGE]

I have no idea what you meant there, Sister SUV.

Oh my GOD, I Hope you don't think I was trying to get fresh with you Mens!

I Copied & Pasted from your info the part where "Belgium" is shown as a "fictional country". I saw it after I previewed, but I guess JESUS had His reasons to not Share with everyone else.

It IS a fictional Country, isn't it? This would Definitely Create problems for yourself and Brother Pfc Nye if so

[Wide-Open]

Re: Belgium, Here I Come!

Oh my GOD, I Hope you don't think I was trying to get fresh with you Mens!

I would never come up with such an idea dear Sister.

It IS a fictional Country, isn't it? This would Definitely Create problems for yourself and Brother Pfc Nye if so

Of course it is. It is both fictional and absurd. I'm French - as you well know. But let's keep this a secret. Hush hush.