[James Hutchins]

Re: I can't believe this . . . Horrible news!

Rev. Rodimer. You have to watch the jokes.
Some are just too serious. Reminds me of the boy who thought it would be funny to tell his little brother that God did not exist. We all know he soon died and God, in His infinite wisdom, most likely sent the child to Hell, for a joke.
Look who is laughing now.

[Didymus Much]

Re: I can't believe this . . . Horrible news!

...I'll be sure to keep in mind the option of having my parishioners correct their error of sending their TITHES to Obama by sending another week's TITHES to Landover instead of to Second Baptist.

On the bright side, spring is coming so you don't have to have the heat on over there at Second String Baptist, can save some money there.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: I can't believe this . . . Horrible news!

On the bright side, spring is coming so you don't have to have the heat on over there at Second String Baptist, can save some money there.

So you're encouraging me to send money to Landover instead of to American Atheistards or your Wiccan coven?

[Didymus Much]

Re: I can't believe this . . . Horrible news!

So you're encouraging me to send money to Landover instead of to American Atheists?

I know the latter would never happen, so I'd not waste my breath trying.

I was just offering a money-saving idea. What you do with the money you don't spend on heating that nearly-empty place of worship of yours is up to you.

Btw speaking of saving money, did you get a chance to look through Widow Helen's modest proposal for saving on your grocery bill?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: I can't believe this . . . Horrible news!

Nearly empty?

I'll have you know that Second Baptist is standing room only, with 215 members and only 200 seats. Why, we haven't had an empty seat since the H1N1 epidemic.

Btw speaking of saving money, did you get a chance to look through Widow Helen's modest proposal for saving on your grocery bill?

I did. She says to invite you over for dinner, and that dinner is at 6pm, but you should be to there at 10am. Apparently you're helping cook?

She said you were the Hauptgericht, which I guess means "guest of honor" or something.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: I can't believe this . . . Horrible news!

I would be very careful about allowing an atheist to enter your home, Reverend Rodimer, especially one with such a preoccupation with Ron Jeremy. You should probably search him at the front door to make sure he doesn't have any porn videos with him. You wouldn't want him to "accidentally" leave one lying around where members of your family might find it.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: I can't believe this . . . Horrible news!

I would be very careful about allowing an atheist to enter your home, Reverend Rodimer, especially one with such a preoccupation with Ron Jeremy. You should probably search him at the front door to make sure he doesn't have any porn videos with him. You wouldn't want him to "accidentally" leave one lying around where members of your family might find it.

Oh, he won't be coming to my place; he'll go to Widow Helen's Bed and Breakfast.

I understand she's going to prepare quite the feast! She has got several men from the congregation lined up to help with the butchering. I think she's going to roast a large bore (or is that boar? I always get those mixed up); she said we were having "long pig".

I'll be sure to warn Widow Helen not to watch any stray DVDs that appear during his visit.

Oh, Didy, she said to come to the back door, and be sure to park your car in the barn. We frequently get hail in April, and don't want your car to get damaged. You will be free of narcotic drugs of all sort, right? Do you smoke? (Helen really hates cigarette smoke, she says it just ruins the lungs.)

Oh, and she would like you to drink a half gallon of whole milk (or cream if you prefer) each day for a week before your visit. I'm not sure what that's about.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: I can't believe this . . . Horrible news!

I once chatted with a black fella from South Africa who told me his family occasionally dined on boer. I guess that's something similar.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: I can't believe this . . . Horrible news!

I once chatted with a black fella from South Africa who told me his family occasionally dined on boer. I guess that's something similar.

Not quite!

Boers is people! Your acquaintance was a Godless cannibal heathen!

[handmaiden]

Re: I can't believe this . . . Horrible news!

I meant for such a great man he does not allocate resources in terms of science in an equal a fair way.

That's what being a Christian is all about being equal and fair.

And I can spell it's just there is no edic function.

So there!

Dear ThinksDesign, please find a Bible verse, or verses, that tells us that the sum total of being a Christian is "about being equal and fair."

My problem with your statement is that when most people spin that particular cotton candy dictum, they are holding in their minds their own judgment about what is or is not "fair"-- never mind liberal humanist ideas about equality, which differ significantly from God's ideas.

Many people llike to cite this verse--

Galatians 3:28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.

As "proof" that everybody is equal. But it just means that in the community of Heaven, we are one with Jesus. Nobody can be more "saved" than the next person. If you insist that it means more than that--say, that it should be taken literally-- well then, why do people still remain men and women after they are saved? How is it that I still have lady parts? (Which are a lot of trouble, mind you!)

Frankly, I think that you are just interpreting the Holy Bible in broad, vague strokes because you can't hunker down and get to the real, detailed truth of the Bible. It's like you're humming the tune, but you don't know the words. And you definitely don't know what the words mean.


Melodically Yours,

Handmaiden

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: I can't believe this . . . Horrible news!

So let me get this straight, Rev. Rodimer; You and your congregation has donated $15,000 to the Obama campaign?


I'm afraid I'll have to revoke that invitation I sent you to play golf on Landover Links this Summer.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: I can't believe this . . . Horrible news!

So let me get this straight, Rev. Rodimer; You and your congregation has donated $15,000 to the Obama campaign?


I'm afraid I'll have to revoke that invitation I sent you to play golf on Landover Links this Summer.

Yahooo!!! It took six months to get the stink out of my clothes from the last time!



Er, I mean, gee, I sure hope you'll reconsider, it was just a joke that some folks took seriously . . . and I do so love whacking a ball around your converted cattleyard . . . nothing quite like the cowpie trap, let me tell you! It's the most challenging course since the Dinosaur Mini-Golf outside the Creation Museum!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: I can't believe this . . . Horrible news!

I'm pretty sure that smell was from the truck stops and highway rest areas that you...."preach" at.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: I can't believe this . . . Horrible news!

I'm pretty sure that smell was from the truck stops and highway rest areas that you...."preach" at.

I don't wear golf cleats to witness, Pastor. What a silly idea!

You should know, the number of times you've come with me. The truck stops have an altogether different odor, that of sin and perversion, but at least it's one that washes out easily when one is a True Christian(tm).

[Faith_Machine]

Re: I can't believe this . . . Horrible news!

Hey, I've got an idea!


Have your flock donate money to American hero and racial profiling victim George Zimmerman!

I am the real George Zimmerman,
On Sunday February 26th, I was involved in a life altering event which led me to become the subject of intense media coverage. As a result of the incident and subsequent media coverage, I have been forced to leave my home, my school, my employer, my family and ultimately, my entire life. This website's sole purpose is to ensure [SIC] my supporters they are receiving my full attention without any intermediaries.

It has come to my attention that some persons and/or entities have been collecting funds, thinly veiled as my “Defense Fund” or "Legal Fund". I cannot attest to the validity of these other websites as I have not received any funds collected, intended to support my family and I through this trying, tragic time. [SIC]

I have created a Paypal account solely linked on this website as I would like to provide an avenue to thank my supporters personally and ensure that any funds provided are used only for living expenses and legal defense, in lieu of my forced inability to maintain employment. I will also personally, [SIC] maintain accountability of all funds received. I reassure [SIC] you, every donation is appreciated.
Sincerely,
George Zimmerman



The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil, [SIC] is that good men do nothing. - Edmund Burke.