A Sincere Apology!

[Faith_Machine]

As many of you are probably aware, "Pride Weekend" has begun. This is the annual, worldwide celebration of sodomy, and nowhere is it bigger than in San Francisco, where it originated as the "Gay Freedom Day Parade."

I had big plans for this weekend. I was going to do great things for the Lord. I had planned on marching in this gay parade, proudly holding up a placard designed to capitalize upon the fear which the Westboro Baptist Church has instilled in queers everywhere.

My placard was to have read:

GOD LOVES FAGS

enough to cure them. See 1 Peter 2:24

Unfortunately, the demon of procrastination was upon me in the days leading up to this sick festival, and I am ashamed to say I do not have my placard ready in time for the sodomy rally.

Fortunately, I have the Bible's words regarding my procrastination to keep me motivated about not falling any deeper into this rut of inactivity:

Proverbs 13:4

The soul of the sluggard desireth, and hath nothing: but the soul of the diligent shall be made fat.

Therefore, I have resolved to charge up the extra batteries for my camcorder and head into San Francisco so that I can document firsthand the sickening acts of public foreplay and fornication which characterize this event.

Please pray that God will envelope me in His protecting hands so that I will not be groped or otherwise harassed over the next couple of days.

[MisterM]

Re: A Sincere Apology!

Therefore, I have resolved to charge up the extra batteries for my camcorder and head into San Francisco so that I can document firsthand the sickening acts of public foreplay and fornication which characterize this event.

Could I get a copy? I need it for educational purposes. I want to demonstrate the sickening acts in the youth group I'm administering.

Yours In Christ, M

[Faith_Machine]

Re: A Sincere Apology!

I don't know where my camcorder is, I don't know where I am, I can't remember anything more recent than yesterday, and I'm borrowing a gentleman's phone to post this.

I'll have to get back to you as soon as I figure out what's going on.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: A Sincere Apology!

I don't know where my camcorder is, I don't know where I am, I can't remember anything more recent than yesterday, and I'm borrowing a gentleman's phone to post this.

I'll have to get back to you as soon as I figure out what's going on.

Does it hurt to pee?

Or worse, to poo?

[Faith_Machine]

Re: A Sincere Apology!

Well I seem to have gotten things somewhat sorted out. I'd been under the impression "sangria" was a type of Mexican fruit juice, but apparently it's loaded with alcohol! I'm just very fortunate I happened to be in the presence of some really decent Spanish fellows who took good care of me when I blacked out!

[Faith_Machine]

Re: A Sincere Apology!

One thing about those Spaniards is they love cleanliness! Would you believe they'd already laundered my clothes and given me a sponge bath by the time I regained consciousness?

[Deaner]

Re: A Sincere Apology!

I'm just very fortunate I happened to be in the presence of some really decent Spanish fellows who took good care of me when I blacked out!

I bet they did.

One thing about those Spaniards is they love cleanliness! Would you believe they'd already laundered my clothes and given me a sponge bath by the time I regained consciousness?

No offence Brother Faith; but I'd be giving a good scrub to anything I'd just picked up from the downtown core of San Fran. Make sure you follow their example and do the same thing.

After all; it's only manners. Glad you had a good time.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: A Sincere Apology!

They gave me a free coupon for a place of business owned by one of their cousins, La Casa de Baños para Hombres Atractivos, which is apparently a dry cleaner or something.

[Godfly]

Re: A Sincere Apology!

Perhaps if your sign had been more clear. We all know that the only cure for homoism is a closed fist which strikes them hard enough that the choose to stop being gay, or perhaps being dragged behind a pickup truck.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: A Sincere Apology!

Perhaps if your sign had been more clear. We all know that the only cure for homoism is a closed fist which strikes them hard enough that the choose to stop being gay, or perhaps being dragged behind a pickup truck.

I know if I was on the road to Hell, I would be thankful to be dragged behind a pickup truck. That's why the Golden Rule is so glorious, because it makes concessions for this sort of thing.

Matthew 7:12

King James Version (KJV)

12 Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.