The rapture is starting!!

[Yea-tho-we-walk]

If you are a nonbeliever, this will positively convert you to the the "Truth". Most Bible believers think the rapture will be a sudden event. I have proof otherwise. It will be a gradual process, and it is beginning as I am writing. My wife and I witnessed a true miracle the other day that left both of us choked with tears of wondrous joy. We were out in the yard in our rural home, and heard an odd sound. We rushed around the barn to witness a beautiful angel in the process of rapturing our cat to heaven. The angel that was carrying "Snowball" off to heaven, was in the form of a large feathered bird with a white head and a somewhat hooked beak. It looked like the bird on the back of a quarter. Strangely, Snowball seemed reluctant to be taken to paradise. As the angel, still in the form of a beautiful bird headed off to heaven, it stopped in a large pile of sticks, in the top of a large tree, and looked back our way, as to tell us Snowball is now in a better place! What a heartwarming sight! If any of you are still doubters, a professional veterinarian also confirmed it definitely was the rapture, but he spelled it differently, raptor, but we're sure it's the same thing. Hallelujah!!!!!

[tylerjwoodby, teenaged witch]

Re: The rapture is starting!!

If you are a nonbeliever, this will positively convert you to the the "Truth". Most Bible believers think the rapture will be a sudden event. I have proof otherwise. It will be a gradual process, and it is beginning as I am writing. My wife and I witnessed a true miracle the other day that left both of us choked with tears of wondrous joy. We were out in the yard in our rural home, and heard an odd sound. We rushed around the barn to witness a beautiful angel in the process of rapturing our cat to heaven. The angel that was carrying "Snowball" off to heaven, was in the form of a large feathered bird with a white head and a somewhat hooked beak. It looked like the bird on the back of a quarter. Strangely, Snowball seemed reluctant to be taken to paradise. As the angel, still in the form of a beautiful bird headed off to heaven, it stopped in a large pile of sticks, in the top of a large tree, and looked back our way, as to tell us Snowball is now in a better place! What a heartwarming sight! If any of you are still doubters, a professional veterinarian also confirmed it definitely was the rapture, but he spelled it differently, raptor, but we're sure it's the same thing. Hallelujah!!!!!

Holy crap that just made me chang my evil ways............... haha no not even close that is just so stupid and so are you a bold egal just stoll your cat to eat it lol

[Johnathan]

Re: The rapture is starting!!

Holy crap that just made me chang my evil ways............... haha no not even close that is just so stupid and so are you a bold egal just stoll your cat to eat it lol

Christ could come down to earth himself again and you'd still deny him.

[Higgins]

Re: The rapture is starting!!

Oh happy day indeed! I cannot wait to be raptured by an angel as well. Please tell us how big the angel was? As I am a bit of a hefty guy I may need more than one to lift me up.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: The rapture is starting!!

If you are a nonbeliever, this will positively convert you to the the "Truth". Most Bible believers think the rapture will be a sudden event. I have proof otherwise. It will be a gradual process, and it is beginning as I am writing. My wife and I witnessed a true miracle the other day that left both of us choked with tears of wondrous joy. We were out in the yard in our rural home, and heard an odd sound. We rushed around the barn to witness a beautiful angel in the process of rapturing our cat to heaven. The angel that was carrying "Snowball" off to heaven, was in the form of a large feathered bird with a white head and a somewhat hooked beak. It looked like the bird on the back of a quarter. Strangely, Snowball seemed reluctant to be taken to paradise. As the angel, still in the form of a beautiful bird headed off to heaven, it stopped in a large pile of sticks, in the top of a large tree, and looked back our way, as to tell us Snowball is now in a better place! What a heartwarming sight! If any of you are still doubters, a professional veterinarian also confirmed it definitely was the rapture, but he spelled it differently, raptor, but we're sure it's the same thing. Hallelujah!!!!!

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: The rapture is starting!!

Holy crap that just made me chang my evil ways............... haha no not even close that is just so stupid and so are you a bold egal just stoll your cat to eat it lol

Good grief!

If proof be need be it is here, yet still you deny Jesus His rightful place as creator of us all.

Unbelievable

YIC

[Faith_Machine]

Re: The rapture is starting!!

Well this is terrific news! I'd been told by some of the people here that my beloved cat does not have a soul, and that I therefore can't look forward to having him in Heaven with me. I now feel very hopeful that perhaps we will be together for eternity after all.

Does anybody have any idea how I can determine whether my cat is saved? I do read the Bible to him fairly often, but it's hard to know how much of it is sinking in.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: The rapture is starting!!

Well this is terrific news! I'd been told by some of the people here that my beloved cat does not have a soul, and that I therefore can't look forward to having him in Heaven with me. I now feel very hopeful that perhaps we will be together for eternity after all.

Does anybody have any idea how I can determine whether my cat is saved? I do read the Bible to him fairly often, but it's hard to know how much of it is sinking in.

I understand that the same test used for witches can be used for cats.

You tie it up in a bag and throw it in the river. If it floats, it's a witch (or an evil witch's familiar). If it sinks, it's a normal Christian woman (or a normal cat).

[Noah Sole]

Re: The rapture is starting!!

I understand that the same test used for witches can be used for cats.

You tie it up in a bag and throw it in the river. If it floats, it's a witch (or an evil witch's familiar). If it sinks, it's a normal Christian woman (or a normal cat).

Thank-you for your advice Reverend. I feel comforted that my recently drowned cat was not a witch as my wife suggested. It's four hours in the prayer closet for her

Exodus 22:18
Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.

YIC

[Yea-tho-we-walk]

Re: The rapture is starting!!

I feel that my home schooling is really starting to kick into high gear! I believe that the human rapture is less than four months away, because the rapture of my puddy kat went much more smoothly than my poodle's did about four months ago. The Angels that will be rapturing humans are midway between us and God, so some of them possibly could be mildly retarded. The Angels have been honing their rapture skills on our pets for about a year or so now to get things perfect when it is time for us. Just about four months ago, I tied my precious white poodle 'Scruffy' out when I went to walmart and returned to find that most of him had been raptured. The Angels, still practicing, took about eighty percent of my poodle, leaving a lot of fur, blood in the snow, several small bones and of course his collar. I feel that they have it just about perfected, so it will soon be our turn to get caught up and finally meet Jesus in the clouds! Just in case any atheists doubt the unfolding, imminent rapture, I can provide photographic proof by posting several photos of the scene in the snow where Scruffy was caught up by Angels.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: The rapture is starting!!

A word of caution, friend: The Bible says nobody will know the day or time of the Rapture's coming!

[Andre the queer papist]

Re: The rapture is starting!!

In history many people have been taken to haven. The first was ever virgin Mary. There also have been some other virgins, some monks and a few Catholic bishops. But a animal? I think you was just trunk!

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: The rapture is starting!!

In history many people have been taken to haven. The first was ever virgin Mary. There also have been some other virgins, some monks and a few Catholic bishops.

Can you show any evidence of these Papist lies in the Bible?

And can you explain how Jesus had brothers if Mary remained a virgin?