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  • Daisy Mae Johnson
    The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
    Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
    aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 15708

    #1

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY to GOD'S Favorite Pastor! ZEKE!

    BLESSINGS
    ON THIS MOST GLORIOUS OF DAYS THAT GOD MADE YOU!



    The Angels Sang the Day You Were Born



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    Tweet me Here
    My GODLY Bio Here
  • Dr Laurence Niles
    Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
     
    • Jan 2012
    • 9063

    #2
    Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY to GOD'S Favorite Pastor! ZEKE!

    God bless you Pastor Zeke! Many happy returns on this most special of Sundays

    I'm sure the financial investigation you are helping the authorities with will soon be over and done with and your complete exoneration will be an delight to the Lord

    YIC
    1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

    Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

    Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

    Comment

    • Mary Etheldreda
      Gushing for Jesus
       
      • Sep 2011
      • 23775

      #3
      Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY to GOD'S Favorite Pastor! ZEKE!

      A most blessed birthday to you, Pastor!
      Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

      Comment

      • Billy Bob Jenkins
        Family Man of the Year 2010-2013
        About as Straight and Manly as you can get
        Hates anal sex. And trees.
        True Christian™
        • May 2010
        • 8337

        #4
        Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY to GOD'S Favorite Pastor! ZEKE!

        Thank you, Pastor Ezekiel, for saving my soul and getting me out of prison so that I could start my New Life with Jesus! You are a hero to my wife and children. I probably would have eaten them by now if you hadn't told me about Jesus.
        The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

        Comment

        • James Hutchins
          True Christian™
          Just a Regular Nice Guy
           
          • Jun 2009
          • 29453

          #5
          Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY to GOD'S Favorite Pastor! ZEKE!

          Happy 29th Birthday, Pastor!

          I bet you never thought God would keep you on Earth so long. I am praying He takes you to be by His side soon, come the Glory!
          I kneel prostrate in honor of your kind benevolence and penetrating love.
          Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
          Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
          Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
          Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
          Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
          Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

          Comment

          • Pastor Ezekiel
            Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
             
            • Sep 2006
            • 78556

            #6
            Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY to GOD'S Favorite Pastor! ZEKE!

            Once again it is my birthday, and today being Sunday, I thought the congregation might honor me by voting to appoint me "Supreme Overlord Pastor For Life," with a salary and benefits package befitting a True Christian(tm) superstar like me.

            Apparently not.
            Who Will Jesus Damn?

            Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

            Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

            Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

            Comment

            • Mary Etheldreda
              Gushing for Jesus
               
              • Sep 2011
              • 23775

              #7
              Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY to GOD'S Favorite Pastor! ZEKE!

              Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
              Once again it is my birthday, and today being Sunday, I thought the congregation might honor me by voting to appoint me "Supreme Overlord Pastor For Life," with a salary and benefits package befitting a True Christian™ superstar like me.

              Apparently not.
              Your glory awaits you in Heaven, dear Pastor!

              Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

              Comment

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