Witnessing methods

[Yea-tho-we-walk]

I'm starting to think my witnessing approach may be somewhat to blame for the intense persecution I've been seeing lately. It's obvious that all real born again believers know that sinners will be thrown into hell where they will be sodomised and gang raped instantly upon arriving, so instead of the overused witnessing term 'do you know Jesus', I thought I'd try a more direct approach. I simply walk up to a stranger in an airport lounge, bus stop or just on the street and start out like this. "How would you like a big purple thobbing tallywhacker in your anus". Well, I expected them to say no, then I planned on telling them that they can aviod that by accepting Jesus right now. But oddly I don't seem to be able to make it to the Jesus part before I find myself in the fetal position on the ground, slowly losing consciousness. So far biker bars seem to be the worst places to witness BTW.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Witnessing methods

But oddly I don't seem to be able to make it to the Jesus part before I find myself in the fetal position on the ground, slowly losing consciousness. So far biker bars seem to be the worst places to witness BTW.

Brother, may I suggest you visit San Francrisco? I'm sure Brother F-M can show you a few venues where such an approach would be met with acclaim.

I prefer to stick to the straight-up Biblical logic. Show them that the dead are unknowing (Ecclesiastes 9:5), then how in Revelation 20-22 it is explained how God will resurrect them to immortal bodies, then cast them into His Lake of Fire to be burned alive forever.

It not only gives clear expectations, but also helps eliminate the ridiculous "God loves everybody" nonsense.