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  • Rev. M. Rodimer
    Honorary True Christian™
    Forum Member
    • May 2008
    • 13996
    #1

    PRAISE thread!

    Sometimes, we all need to take a step back from battling gaytheist trolls and think about why we're here . . . to PRAISE JESUS!

    And that's what this thread is all about. Share your favorite Jesus-praising stories, prayers, and Internet memes here!

    Widow Helen sent me this one in email:



    Yes, Jesus IS big enough. He satisfies our every need, doesn't He?
    Bible boring? Nonsense!
    Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
    You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
    Tags: None
    • Mary Etheldreda
      Gushing for Jesus
       
      • Sep 2011
      • 23775
      #2
      Re: PRAISE thread!

      Originally posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post

      Yes, Jesus IS big enough. He satisfies our every need, doesn't He?
      Oh INDEED!

      Reverend, I must say, even on my darkest days, when I'm overwhelmed with parenting, wifely duties, the responsibilities that are required to run a home and family such that my husband has absolutely no cares at home, when I feel in my flesh that I cannot pinch another penny, cannot muster another second of patience, cannot muster the tiny effort for a minuscule smile,

      just knowing that Jesus is there beside me

      gives me the strength to carry on!





      Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

        Comment

        • Felicity
          As pure and virginal as the driven snow.
          True Christian™
          • Apr 2010
          • 4834
          #3
          Re: PRAISE thread!

          PRAISE Jesus for teaching me how to please my Father and my father!

          PRAISE Jesus for making everything dirty so I can clean it again!

          PRAISE Jesus for smiting all those gays in New York!

          PRAISE Jesus for making me feel all warm inside!

          PRAISE Jesus for killing my beloved horse!

          PRAISE Jesus for all Sundays!

          PRAISE Jesus!


          I Jesus!

            Comment

            • Rev. M. Rodimer
              Honorary True Christian™
              Forum Member
              • May 2008
              • 13996
              #4
              Re: PRAISE thread!

              Yes, Sister Felicity! The wonders of God's beneficence know no bounds.

              Just imagine all the young kids in schools who will have glue, and the dogs that will have full bellies, thanks to your horse . . . and Jesus!
              Bible boring? Nonsense!
              Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
              You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                Comment

                • Daisy Mae Johnson
                  The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
                  Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
                  aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
                  True Christian™
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 15708
                  #5
                  Re: PRAISE thread!



                  THANK YOU JESUS for showing me what being lved means!
                  sigpic

                  Tweet me Here
                  My GODLY Bio Here

                    Comment

                    • Mary Etheldreda
                      Gushing for Jesus
                       
                      • Sep 2011
                      • 23775
                      #6
                      Re: PRAISE thread!

                      Originally posted by Daisy Mae Johnson View Post

                      Daisy Mae, that is what I imagine Heaven to be like!

                      Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

                        Comment

                        • Daisy Mae Johnson
                          The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
                          Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
                          aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
                          True Christian™
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 15708
                          #7
                          Re: PRAISE thread!

                          A rose by any other name is JESUS!

                          sigpic

                          Tweet me Here
                          My GODLY Bio Here

                            Comment

                            • Mary Etheldreda
                              Gushing for Jesus
                               
                              • Sep 2011
                              • 23775
                              #8
                              Re: PRAISE thread!

                              Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

                                Comment

                                • Deaner
                                  Christ's Love Messenger
                                  True Christian™
                                  • Sep 2006
                                  • 5932
                                  #9
                                  Re: PRAISE thread!

                                  Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
                                  I love the quote on the bottom of the picture. But with Christ on my side, I will piss on the faces of the forces of darkness. Can I have an Amen?

                                    Comment

                                    • Mary Etheldreda
                                      Gushing for Jesus
                                       
                                      • Sep 2011
                                      • 23775
                                      #10
                                      Re: PRAISE thread!

                                      Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

                                        Comment

                                        • Pastor Ezekiel
                                          Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                                           
                                          • Sep 2006
                                          • 78556
                                          #11
                                          Re: PRAISE thread!

                                          AMEN!!!



                                          ...all your hard times will vanish in the wind, when the mighty clouds of joy come rollin in!
                                          Who Will Jesus Damn?

                                          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                                          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                                          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                                            Comment

                                            • Daisy Mae Johnson
                                              The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
                                              Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
                                              aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
                                              True Christian™
                                              • Sep 2006
                                              • 15708
                                              #12
                                              Re: PRAISE thread!

                                              Originally posted by Deaner View Post
                                              I love the quote on the bottom of the picture. But with Christ on my side, I will piss on the faces of the forces of darkness. Can I have an Amen?


                                              .
                                              sigpic

                                              Tweet me Here
                                              My GODLY Bio Here

                                                Comment

                                                • Prayer Warrior
                                                  True Christian™
                                                  True Christian™
                                                  • Sep 2011
                                                  • 862
                                                  #13
                                                  Re: PRAISE thread!

                                                  I praise Jesus for creating guns.



                                                  Like congressman Paul Broun and the founders of America said, our right to have guns comes from God

                                                  Close minded people are just right people who don't want to spend time arguing.

                                                    Comment

                                                    • Daisy Mae Johnson
                                                      The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
                                                      Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
                                                      aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
                                                      True Christian™
                                                      • Sep 2006
                                                      • 15708
                                                      #14
                                                      Re: PRAISE thread!

                                                      What can be killed but can never die?

                                                      sigpic

                                                      Tweet me Here
                                                      My GODLY Bio Here

                                                        Comment

                                                        • Pastor Ezekiel
                                                          Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                                                           
                                                          • Sep 2006
                                                          • 78556
                                                          #15
                                                          Re: PRAISE thread!

                                                          Who Will Jesus Damn?

                                                          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                                                          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                                                          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                                                            Comment

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