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  • Deaner
    Christ's Love Messenger
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 5932
    #31
    Re: Have you been winking?

    Originally posted by Matthew Hopkins View Post
    Pastor Zeke,

    It sounds like madness, but, even when I look at your manly avatar photo, I seem to see you winking at me. I may be possessed, Pastor Zeke.

    Is there any fund I can donate to, or increase the $120,000,000 I tithed, to effect an exorcism?

    Pray for me, please.

    YBIC

    EDIT: This demonic symptom only seems to happen if I don a white glove and brush my hand lightly over Pastor Zeke's countenance. Not that I do that, much.
    Pastor Zeke will do almost anything for money but not homer-sex. Send 10 grand to me at Deaner@landoverbaptist.net and I will negotiate for you. Anything else is considered an insult to someone so close to Christ.

      Comment

      • Deaner
        Christ's Love Messenger
        True Christian™
        • Sep 2006
        • 5932
        #32
        Re: Have you been winking?

        Originally posted by Matthew Hopkins View Post
        Apart from the bread and wine, I'm guessing falafel.

        YBIC
        Nah; I think it was some kind of pickled olive.

          Comment

          • Matthew Hopkins
            True Christian™
            • Oct 2012
            • 808
            #33
            Re: Have you been winking?

            Originally posted by Deaner View Post
            Pastor Zeke will do almost anything for money but not homer-sex. Send 10 grand to me at Deaner@landoverbaptist.net and I will negotiate for you. Anything else is considered an insult to someone so close to Christ.
            Thank you, brother, the funds have been sent. I, too, would never do homer-sex. At any point.

            Just a wink is enough to send me into a swoon of shock and fear, I cannot imagine an actual homer type encounter. That would be sickening. In fact, I am now going to be sick.

            YBIC

              Comment

              • Pastor Ezekiel
                Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                 
                • Sep 2006
                • 78555
                #34
                Re: Have you been winking?

                Originally posted by Deaner View Post
                Pastor Zeke will do almost anything for money but not homer-sex. Send 10 grand to me at Deaner@landoverbaptist.net and I will negotiate for you. Anything else is considered an insult to someone so close to Christ.
                Who Will Jesus Damn?

                Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                  Comment

                  • Faith_Machine
                    Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
                    True Christian™
                    • Mar 2011
                    • 10050
                    #35
                    Re: Have you been winking?

                    I'm told that in the UK, "winky" is a slang word for uncircumcised thingamajigs.

                    I don't think this is a coincidence.
                    WARNING:
                    In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                    REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                      Comment

                      • Daisy Mae Johnson
                        The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
                        Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
                        aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
                        True Christian™
                        • Sep 2006
                        • 15708
                        #36
                        Re: Have you been winking?

                        Like I said, some one is about to get screwed.

                        sigpic

                        Tweet me Here
                        My GODLY Bio Here

                          Comment

                          • MitzaLizalor
                            Completely CRAZY for the Lord
                            True Christian™
                            • Sep 2010
                            • 14309
                            #37
                            Originally posted by Matthew Hopkins View Post
                            Proverbs 10:10
                            Winking can so easily be misinterpreted , especially by heathens. Christians never need to and when winked at, always enigmatic to me, remember that hissing is just as much frowned upon by God.

                            Jeremiah 19:5a 8 They have built also the high places of Baal . . . And I will make this city desolate, and an hissing; every one that passeth thereby shall be astonished and hiss because of all the plagues thereof.

                            Winking, head wagging, oil rubbing and other activities here are clearly identified by God as elements of Baal worship. It makes me sick just thinking about it

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