I need guidance!

[Thaddeus Allerton]

Greetings brothers and sisters. Today I am torn over whether or not it is suitable to pray for my beloved Chicago Bears to beat the Green Bay Packers (Packers...slang for sodomy) today. Before discovering Landover I did pray for the Lord to guide them to victory but now that I thrive to become an accepted member of the Landover community, is praying for my Bears to beat the sodomites of Green Bay a proper use of the Lords time? I am torn on this topic, seeing as how kickoff is one hour away. Aaron Rodgers, the quarterback for Green Bay looks like a queer and he has a Jooy name as well. Any advice and guidance from Church elders would be so very much welcomed!

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: I need guidance!

Greetings brothers and sisters. Today I am torn over whether or not it is suitable to pray for my beloved Chicago Bears to beat the Green Bay Packers (Packers...slang for sodomy) today. Before discovering Landover I did pray for the Lord to guide them to victory but now that I thrive to become an accepted member of the Landover community, is praying for my Bears to beat the sodomites of Green Bay a proper use of the Lords time? I am torn on this topic, seeing as how kickoff is one hour away. Aaron Rodgers, the quarterback for Green Bay looks like a queer and he has a Jooy name as well. Any advice and guidance from Church elders would be so very much welcomed!

Until you're a Saved© True Christian™, it'd be pointless, as God only hears the prayers of His chosen people.

Now we know that God heareth not sinners: but if any man be a worshipper of God, and doeth his will, him he heareth.
John 9:31

[Thaddeus Allerton]

Re: I need guidance!

Until you're a Saved© True Christian™, it'd be pointless, as God only hears the prayers of His chosen people.

Thank you, Capt. Portway. I will just hope for a victory and that there is a True Christian™ out there who is a Bears fan.

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: I need guidance!

Thank you, Capt. Portway. I will just hope for a victory and that there is a True Christian™ out there who is a Bears fan.

I think it would be OK if you hoped really hard to Jesus for the Packers to lose, but make sure that if they do lose, that you thank The Lord profusely for this favor that He did for you, which you, as an unsaved and worthless worm, didn't in the slightest way deserve.

[Thaddeus Allerton]

Re: I need guidance!

I think it would be OK if you hoped really hard to Jesus for the Packers to lose, but make sure that if they do lose, that you thank The Lord profusely for this favor that He did for you, which you, as an unsaved and worthless worm, didn't in the slightest way deserve.

Thank you for your wise words, Capt. I will hope real real hard that Jesus sees to it that the sodomites from Green Bay lose today. Maybe Jesus will hear my hoping and throw me a bone.

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: I need guidance!

I trust you have been to Church this morning, my friend? This IS God's day after all and He comes first. There should be something in the sermon that will provide guidance?

In Christ

[Thaddeus Allerton]

Re: I need guidance!

I trust you have been to Church this morning, my friend? This IS God's day after all and He comes first. There should be something in the sermon that will provide guidance?

In Christ

I attended the first service of the day at 730 this morning, as always. Our Pastor is a rabid Bears fan and I have faith that he has prayed for a Bears victory but he is rather old and forgetful so there is a chance it slipped his mind. I will continue hoping, as Capt. Portway suggested.

[Thomas Taylor]

Re: I need guidance!

I attended the first service of the day at 730 this morning, as always. Our Pastor is a rabid Bears fan and I have faith that he has prayed for a Bears victory but he is rather old and forgetful so there is a chance it slipped his mind. I will continue hoping, as Capt. Portway suggested.

Thaddeus, I am really sorry to burst your bubble but I think you might find that "Bears" are homers as well.

And we all know what happens to homers don't we?

Leviticus 20:13

If a man also lie with mankind, as hee lyeth with a woman, both of them haue committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shalbe vpon them.

[Thaddeus Allerton]

Re: I need guidance!

I think (and why I never realized this before I don't know) is that Jesus has no love for the Chicago Bears due to them having a nigra for a head coach. Apparently Jesus hates nigras more than sodomites. It is a tough call...