[Brother V]

No it doesn't work.

The slight drag to "cry" and the tension implied is not to be found in your bad Baptwit version. This is the difference between clever and stupid...it's a fine line you know.

The idea of emphasis and stylised flow is lost your way...very pedestrian I dare say.

Pay closer attention and keep out of the moonshine.



Bless you, my Barry Manilow of Landover,
Father Mo

hide the for-nuh, and pound the CAItin... the caitin goes in the cryin part... it's so obvious, like the altarboy under your robe, I can't believe you don't see it.

V

[Brother_Mike]

....Looks like Brother Mike is the "pickle in the middle"...again.

Praise Jesus!

[Andreas]

But then you come from a cathylick school where every syllable is pronounce in latin, so you don't understand American English very well.

You know brother V, I don't think this catlicking swine speaks latin.

It's a fact that latin is only an excuse for priests to look smarter than they really are. (And the pope uses it to communicate with Satan)

But father Mo wouldn't know better than "stupidus et miser sum" or "Adoro Mariam"

Praise

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Here is what the new CD will look like!

We'll Be Gone



Excited, Sister Thumper!

....Looks like Brother Mike is the "pickle in the middle"...again.

I love the songs you guys have posted here. I'll get to work on the tunes for them.

[Father Maurice Lester]

for-nuh-catin all the time

fits in

cruh-yin all the time.

you just have to force fornuh into the cruh section. it fits and it works...

No it doesn't work.

The slight drag to "cry" and the tension implied is not to be found in your bad Baptwit version. This is the difference between clever and stupid...it's a fine line you know.

The idea of emphasis and stylised flow is lost your way...very pedestrian I dare say.

Pay closer attention and keep out of the moonshine.



Bless you, my Barry Manilow of Landover,
Father Mo

[Brother V]

Count the syllables...if you can count.

There are four...three and a half if you slur the "catin'"

Now count the syllables in the original lyric.

Two..or half of four for some us who weren't home schooled in the Ozarks.

The bounce of the vocal delivery with your revision becomes awkward and unappealing thus rendering the song far less likely to get airplay which in turn works against your intention of spreading the message...in other words a bad arrangement idea.


Bless you, my future turnip truck defenestration victim,
Father Mo

for-nuh-catin all the time

fits in

cruh-yin all the time.

you just have to force fornuh into the cruh section. it fits and it works...

But then you come from a cathylick school where every syllable is pronounce in latin, so you don't understand American English very well.

V

[Father Maurice Lester]

Here is what the new CD will look like!

We'll Be Gone



Excited, Sister Thumper!

Wrong.

I golf with Pastor Al the odd time and he tips the scales around four-hundred and fifty...kilos. There is no way that isn't photoshopped!


Hey...your group should do a cover of "They don't make Jews like Jesus anymore".



Bless you, my not at all mellifluous morons!
Father Mo

[Father Maurice Lester]

More Baptist examples of bad education

You ain't nothin but a homer (formerly "you ain't nothin but a hound dog" by Evil Presley)

You ain't nothin but a homer
Fornicatin' all the time
You ain't nothin but a homer
Fornicatin' all the time.

Count the syllables...if you can count.

There are four...three and a half if you slur the "catin'"

Now count the syllables in the original lyric.

Two..or half of four for some us who weren't home schooled in the Ozarks.

The bounce of the vocal delivery with your revision becomes awkward and unappealing thus rendering the song far less likely to get airplay which in turn works against your intention of spreading the message...in other words a bad arrangement idea.

Now Baptists and bad arrangements go hand in hand but there is some merit in cleaning up lyrics or at least having them make musical sense if nothing else.

Let's try this again but pretend we actually have a slight sense of basic musicality and an honest appraisal of the situation shall we?


"You ain't nothing but a con man,
Trying to rip us off,
You ain't nothing but a con man,
Trying to rip us off,
Well you ain't a man of Jesus and you ain't no friend of mine!"

Although the ryhme scheme now needs work the "patter" of the syncopation is solid as is the message!


Bless you, my future turnip truck defenestration victim,
Father Mo

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Glory!!!

Here is what the new CD will look like!

We'll Be Gone



Excited, Sister Thumper!

[MoonFlower]

Here is my prayer-list of possible performers, but I know you all have very busy schedules. If it comes down to it, it'll just be Jesus, me and my trusty gutbucket in the recording studio...

Band manager and accountant: Jesus Christ, Lord and Savior of Humanity

Witch Hammer: lead vocals, gutbucket and washboard
Pastor Al: electric harp
Pastor Ezekiel and Tater: lead guitars
Brother Mike: rhythm guitar
Sister Thumper: bass guitar
Sister Talitha: keyboards
Brother Remy: drums (although he's 100% white now, Jesus has NOT taken away his sense of rhythm!)
Sister Petal: banjo (what a blessing that 6th finger turned out to be! Praise!)
The Landover Baptist Church True Christian Choir®: backing vocals
MoonFlower13, lilith and Rachael Von Hellspawn: groupies

YAY! I'd be delighted to be a groupie! Although by the looks of it, I could be the only one. But I'm sure you'll gather more along the way.

Moon

[Andreas]

Jesus weeps. This music is awful.

[Brother Temperance]

Now this nation that I love
Has fallen under attack
A mighty sucker punch came flyin' in
From somewhere in the back
Soon as we could see clearly
Through our big black eye
Man, we lit up your world
Like the 4th of July

I like it... is that a reference to how the homers caused 9/11?

[Witch Hammer]

Thats a good one, BT. Here's another that truly reflect's God's will and needs no editing:


Courtesy Of The Red, White And Blue (The Angry American)

American Girls and American Guys
We'll always stand up and salute
We'll always recognize
When we see Old Glory Flying
There's a lot of men dead
So we can sleep in peace at night
When we lay down our head

My daddy served in the army
Where he lost his right eye
But he flew a flag out in our yard
Until the day that he died
He wanted my mother, my brother, my sister and me
To grow up and live happy
In the land of the free.

Now this nation that I love
Has fallen under attack
A mighty sucker punch came flyin' in
From somewhere in the back
Soon as we could see clearly
Through our big black eye
Man, we lit up your world
Like the 4th of July

Hey Uncle Sam
Put your name at the top of his list
And the Statue of Liberty
Started shakin' her fist
And the eagle will fly
Man, it's gonna be hell
When you hear Mother Freedom
Start ringin' her bell
And it feels like the whole wide world is raining down on you
Brought to you Courtesy of the Red White and Blue

Justice will be served
And the battle will rage
This big dog will fight
When you rattle his cage
And you'll be sorry that you messed with
The U.S. of A.
'Cause we'll put a boot in your ass
It's the American way*

Hey Uncle Sam
Put your name at the top of his list
And the Statue of Liberty
Started shakin' her fist
And the eagle will fly
Man, it's gonna be hell
When you hear Mother Freedom
Start ringin' her bell
And it feels like the whole wide world is raining down on you
Brought to you Courtesy of the Red White and Blue

*And GOD's Way

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

That's quite catchy, Brother Temperance!

[Brother Temperance]

Here's a secular song I heard the other day, that hardly needs any re-writing at all:

Hang the Pope hang the Pope hang the Pope
Hang the Pope hang the Pope hang the Pope
Hang him with a blessed rope
Let's go to the Vatican, get him out of bed
Put the noose around his neck and hang him till he's dead
Hang the Pope hang the Pope hang the Pope
Hang the Pope hang the Pope hang the Pope
Hang him with a holy rope
Let's go to the Vatican, get him out of bed
Put the noose around his neck and hang him till he's very dead