[James Hutchins]

Re: http://www.jesus-is-savior.com is a hoax.

That's why you're extremist, you believe and obey the orders of a dusty book. If the bible says "jump", you jump, if the bible says "sleep", you go to bed, if the bible says "yes", you say yes to everything, but if it says "no", you say no to everything, I hope the bible never shut up, because with no book to order you what to do, then you're lost, or forced to use your brain

That is ncorrect. My Bible is not at all dusty. Therefore, the rest of your baseless comments do not hold water.

[Oliver Brendan Hayve]

Re: http://www.jesus-is-savior.com is a hoax.

That's why you're extremist, you believe and obey the orders of a dusty book. If the bible says "jump", you jump, if the bible says "sleep", you go to bed, if the bible says "yes", you say yes to everything, but if it says "no", you say no to everything, I hope the bible never shut up, because with no book to order you what to do, then you're lost, or forced to use your brain

Javiera, when you write stuff like that, does it make the remotest sense even to you?

[Didymus Much]

Re: http://www.jesus-is-savior.com is a hoax.

That's why you're extremist, you believe and obey the orders of a dusty book...

And all those who disregard anything anyone else has ever said or written, and believe that God tells them directly what they should do to please Him, they're the "normal" ones.

Why, then, does this "god" of yours give different messages to everyone?

Could it be that's it just your own subconscious you're listening to? ( <--- really big hint there, let's see if she catches it)

[Mother Of Seven]

Re: http://www.jesus-is-savior.com is a hoax.

blah blah

Who are you? You haven't even had the decency to post in the Introductions part of the forum

[lanDOVErchurch]

Re: http://www.jesus-is-savior.com is a hoax.

I will tell all of my Christian friends to never go to this ungodly website *shudders*

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: http://www.jesus-is-savior.com is a hoax.

I will tell all of my Christian friends to never go to this ungodly website *shudders*

Before you do that, how about heading over to the Introduction Forum and tell us a little about yourself...we want to get to know you!

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: http://www.jesus-is-savior.com is a hoax.

Any so-called Christian site that makes Christianity look bad by donning the tin-foil hat in this way, is obviously a Jew run faction of the Opus Dei, likely using occult technologies to communicate with our reptilian overlords.

[Alvin Moss]

Re: http://www.jesus-is-savior.com is a hoax.

Any so-called Christian site that makes Christianity look bad by donning the tin-foil hat in this way, is obviously a Jew run faction of the Opus Dei, likely using occult technologies to communicate with our reptilian overlords.

Is it the Lizard People you speak of?

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Re: http://www.jesus-is-savior.com is a hoax.

I realize the original post is almost a year old, but it still saddens me to think that people would make light of the sacred. Our Lord Jesus must have a heavy heart when people gather to mock His sacrifice, temporary as it was, just for some kind of cheap thrill.

Father always says, "There is no such thing as a cheap thrill, Naomi Ruth, because there is always a price to be paid eventually, and if you factor in inflation and other economic factors, payment due will exceed accounts received every time. The wages of sin is death." In fact, he just said it to me about ten minutes ago.

Glory to God for a father that loves Jesus.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: http://www.jesus-is-savior.com is a hoax.

Is it the Lizard People you speak of?

Nay. Flying Saucers and Lizard "people" are just demons that Satan sends up to the firmament in an attempt to distract us from constant prayer and worshipful acknowledgment of Christ's temporary sacrifice. Calling these abominations "people" is just feeding into their lies.

I once saw such a demon, while engaged in a violent orgy of snake skin condoms with the liberal cognoscenti of upstate New York, where Jews go to "get away" from the Big Apple during the terror attacks they orchestrate. They have an underground tunnel system (which smells like feces and reminds me of a sewer) where they participate in these uncouth rites of interdimensional passage.

The demon was shaped like a man, but had the tail of a lizard. He removed the tail from his body and cast it to the ground like the enemy sorcerers that God granted Moses victory over, before he killed Jesus on Golgotha, centuries after his death.

I beheld the foul beast's appendage, and saw that it had been transformed into a dildo. He then made it disappear. But this was not my first exposure to Satanic magic, which is nothing more than misdirection, as it turns out.

The shapeshifter produced a deck of playing cards, from an unknown point of origin, and asked me to cut the deck, which I did. He turned up the first card, and it was the seven of clubs. This disturbed me, because of what I imagined such a monster accomplishing with seven phallic icons (such as a club or any other bludgeon). The fear which I felt inside my anus eventually led me to Christ, but I digress.

The next card was a face card. The look of primal emotion on the monster's humanoid face informed me that this had all been in the cards since the deck itself was printed by Hoyle, at an unknown, perhaps unknowable point in the past.

One after another, the monster dealt each of us five cards, and we proceeded to play a game of poker for no money. I knew that my soul hung in the balance, and so I cheated, and won.

That is my only close encounter of the third kind, unless you count drug induced visions of extraplanar entities. Mostly, demons just hide in the sky, disguised as stars, which is why their numbers vary so much throughout the year.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: http://www.jesus-is-savior.com is a hoax.

O Come Lord Jesus!

This is worrisome indeed! I'm glad you are safe (for now), Brother Billy Bob. I will continue to pray a hedge of protection around you, and especially around your anus.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: http://www.jesus-is-savior.com is a hoax.

O Come Lord Jesus!

This is worrisome indeed! I'm glad you are safe (for now), Brother Billy Bob. I will continue to pray a hedge of protection around you, and especially around your anus.

+1

Brother Billy Bob's anus will be in my thoughts, as well.

YIC

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: http://www.jesus-is-savior.com is a hoax.

+1

Brother Billy Bob's anus will be in my thoughts, as well.

YIC

And yours mine, brother.

[Levi Jones]

Re: http://www.jesus-is-savior.com is a hoax.

Yes, we must vigilant in our watch against the machinations of Satan and his attacks against our posteriors.

Truly a disturbing vision, Brother.

I will pray for an angel of protection. I pray the Holy Spirit to loose a mighty warrior angel from heaven to nestle against your buttocks (with his back to you of course) to brandish his fiery sword against any demons who might try to assault your colon.

[Jedediah]

Re: http://www.jesus-is-savior.com is a hoax.

We can never be too forthcoming in our prayers for protection and succor in these end times. I have adapted Psalm 91 to pray for protection over Brother Jenkins' anus.

He that dwelleth in the secret place of the Most High
shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

I will say this of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress:
my God; with Him, I know my sphincter is safe.
Surely He shall deliver thee from the tallywhacker of the florist,
and from other prancing nancies.
He shall wrap His big manly arms around you,
and against His bosom shalt thou cleave:
His Truth™ shall be thy shield and buckler.
Thou shalt not be afraid for thy anus by night;
nor being seduced by that cute checkout boy during the day;
nor for the AIDS that He sends against homosexurals;
nor for the prolapsed rectum that results from years of repeated, intense anal pounding.
Everywhere you go, unsaved homers will get huge boners thinking about your sphincter,
and ten thousand shall lust for your mouth as well;
but it shall not come nigh thee.

Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold
and see the reward of those who yearn for anal delights.
Because thou hast made the LORD, which is my refuge,
even the most High, thy habitation;
there shall no tallywhackers befall thee,
neither shall you get AIDS in some other way, like sitting on a toilet seat with cuts on your butt.
For He shall give His angels charge over thee,
to penetrate your heart and fill you with Jesus' love rather than penetrate your sphincter and fill your colon with gooey hot spunk.
He shall bear thee up in their hands,
lest you shake your tallywhacker more than five times, accidentally committing the grievous sin of masturbation.
Thou shalt tread up the bear and the twink:
God want let them rape you, He will instead send them to hell.

Because He hat set His love upon me, in a totally manly, non-gay way:
I will set Him on high, because He hath known I'm definitely not gay.
He shall call upon me, and I will answer Him:
I will be with BillyBob in trouble;
I will talk with him about our anuses and masculinity, and devise new strategies for defending his virtue.
With long life will I satisfy him (in a completely heterosexual, Godly way),
and shew him my gun collection.

In Jesus name I pray,
Amen.