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  • Yea-tho-we-walk
    Forum Member
    Forum Member
    • Nov 2010
    • 390

    #1

    Bizzarre phenomena affecting our congregation!

    In my time church goers would keep quiet with the exception of a few "Hallelujah's", "Praise Jesus" or simply "Amen". Lately a new wave of puzzling comments have been heard coming from unknown members of the congregation on a troublingly high percentage of the time. The church elders are at a loss to explain it, but we are thinking it is either a demon, a stray JW or possibly some ebonic street talk. After at least half of the sentences that are said in the Sunday sermon, a voice somewhere in the pew area will either say "that's what she said" or lately more often than not, "giggity". It would seem that certain words bring about these bizzarre coments. We are seeing a connection between the odd comments and Biblical words such as 'rod', 'staff', 'kneeling', 'seed', 'heavy load', 'missionary', 'Sodom', 'annoint with oil', 'tool', 'meat', 'plowing', 'burning bush', 'gentile', 'blowing the trumpet', and many, many others.

    We are suspecting that the "she" in the phrase 'that's what she said' must refer to Mary Magdalene, out of whom were cast seven devils (Luke 8:2), but thats just speculation at this point.
  • Mary Etheldreda
    Gushing for Jesus
     
    • Sep 2011
    • 23775

    #2
    Re: Bizzarre phenomena affecting our congregation!

    Originally posted by Yea-tho-we-walk View Post
    We are suspecting that the "she" in the phrase 'that's what she said' must refer to Mary Magdalene, out of whom were cast seven devils (Luke 8:2), but thats just speculation at this point.
    Well that does make sense, I mean, what woman other than Mary Magdalene would anyone listen to? Jesus didn't even give his own trampy mother the time of day (John 2:4). Although, I have overheard my children remind their friends what their own mothers have said in the past. "That's what your mom said last night," is a phrase I've heard. How sweet they are to remind their little friends to mind their mothers, and to help them to that end by reminding them what she'd said.

    Now that I think about it, my children do like to talk about certain events and concepts found in the Holy Bible more than others. "Tool," "meat," and "rod" are among the words I hear whispered throughout the house the most. Sometimes they'll remind one another, in case one didn't hear. "She said 'blow." Then they giggle. I'm not sure what the giggling is about, you know children, but I'm pleased to see them take such an interest in the Holy Word.

    Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

    Comment

    • Bjorn Jensen
      True Christian™
      True Christian™
      • Apr 2012
      • 2356

      #3
      Re: Bizzarre phenomena affecting our congregation!

      I suspect there might be a group of undercover JW's on the loose in Freehold, turning the residents against each other and undermining the city and its morals.

      Comment

      • BelieverInGod
        Fourm Member
        Forum Member
        • Feb 2010
        • 9269

        #4
        Re: Bizzarre phenomena affecting our congregation!

        Originally posted by Ex-Viking View Post
        I suspect there might be a group of undercover JW's on the loose in Freehold, turning the residents against each other and undermining the city and its morals.
        That would explain things.

        So is it safe to let the children outside?
        Drama queen

        Comment

        • Pastor Ezekiel
          Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
           
          • Sep 2006
          • 78556

          #5
          Re: Bizzarre phenomena affecting our congregation!

          Originally posted by BelieverInGod View Post
          So is it safe to let the children outside?
          As long as they're armed, of course.

          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

          Comment

          • Theonlysane1
            Unsaved trash
            Under Investigation
            • Mar 2013
            • 1

            #6
            Re: Bizzarre phenomena affecting our congregation!

            I'm assuming you guys are being sarcastic and understand that these are sexual jokes that you are hearing?

            Comment

            • Zechariah Smyth
              Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
              True Christian™
              • Feb 2011
              • 15251

              #7
              Re: Bizzarre phenomena affecting our congregation!

              Originally posted by Theonlysane1 View Post
              I'm assuming you guys are being sarcastic and understand that these are sexual jokes that you are hearing?
              I assure you, there is nothing funny about demonic possession, especially in a church setting.



              Now, how about heading over to the Introduction Forum and telling us all about yourself. We want to get to know you!



              Yours in Christ,

              Z. Smyth
              sigpic

              Comment

              • Yea-tho-we-walk
                Forum Member
                Forum Member
                • Nov 2010
                • 390

                #8
                Re: Bizzarre phenomena affecting our congregation!

                Originally posted by Theonlysane1 View Post
                I'm assuming you guys are being sarcastic and understand that these are sexual jokes that you are hearing?

                Sexual!! That has too be the sickest thing I have ever heard! Whatever "that's what she said" really means, I'm sure it has nothing to do with sex, you filthy pervert!

                My wife, a real, home schooled Christian is as pure as they come and she would NEVER utter a filthy word and she uses the term frequently herself. Just last night I was having a dickens of a time getting the cover off a jar of olives when, in frustration, I stated, "Sweet Jesus, this thing is tight", to which she replied, "that's what he said". So the term must mean something to do with Scripture, not dirty filth like your sick, twisted mind seems to think!!

                Comment

                • BelieverInGod
                  Fourm Member
                  Forum Member
                  • Feb 2010
                  • 9269

                  #9
                  Re: Bizzarre phenomena affecting our congregation!

                  Originally posted by Theonlysane1 View Post
                  I'm assuming you guys are being sarcastic and understand that these are sexual jokes that you are hearing?
                  Everything is "sexual" to unsaved scum.

                  So you're saying he has a homosexual atheist in his congregational midst?
                  Drama queen

                  Comment

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