Give Jesus the Bird today!

[SUV]

That's Right, Christians! As we must Tithe a tenth of our Income, it's only Proper that we also remember Him around our Dinner tables. So be sure to leave for Him a tenth of that Good Turkey!

I would suggest the "batzel", neck, Giblets, and that part underneath that some stuck-up people find too Greasey to Eat

[Crazy Cat Lady]

Re: Give Jesus the Bird today!

Dear Sister Sue, the title of this thread makes me think of something dreaful, something which would make me cover up the eyes of my poor kittens. It makes me think you mean flipping the middle finger! But I know a Godly sister such as you would never think of something so dreadful!

[Brother Love]

Re: Give Jesus the Bird today!

Now Sister Sue is a HOLY lady. A Sister who praises the Lord! PRAISE GOD for her and I agrees with her bout's givin the Lord one tenth of the bird. We must always remember the Lord in whatever we does. Only a dirty mind LOST IN SIN would think our dear Sister was sayin to give JESUS the middle finger!! Pure minds is focused on JESUS and doesn't have those kinds of evil and vile thoughts. I'd say REPENT kittie lady!!

[SUV]

Did YOU give Jesus the Bird?

I want all of you who did not "Give Jesus the Bird" yesterday to sign up here! ConFester your Shame!

Don't even try to get out of it: He already knows who you are! And now He will be expecting you to publicly Snivel and Squeal, which is Right and Proper, as every Preacher knows, after being found to have committed yet another faux pas....

Of course, ratting on your neighbor is no Sin in Christianity, so if you know of someone, feel free to add he or she to the list:

1) Dora Denkins
2) Brother Matt
3) Rush Limbaugh
4) That crazy cat "Lady" who gives all the by-products to her Sinful cats as if those little foil packages they sell at Wal*Mart like "Eyeball Grizzle Grease and Giblet Goo in Clotted Ooze" isn't Good enough for them!
5) Mrs. Betty Bowers - but only because she wouldn't eat anything as Common as turkey
6) Chadi
7) ???

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Did YOU give Jesus the Bird?

7) ICKY

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: Did YOU give Jesus the Bird?

8) Ms. Hellbound

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Give Jesus the Bird today!

9) That dreadful JohnSmith guy.

[Talitha]

Re: Give Jesus the Bird today!

Sister Sue, although I had no Turkey left-overs I did leave out the remnants of my own Dinner. Sister Betty is right, Turkey is SO last year

I managed to "acquire" a Brace of Takahe from the Mountains of New Zealand.

They are so much more difficult to get these days.

The Bright red Beak makes a lovely table decoration.Learn here

[Ixi]

Re: Did YOU give Jesus the Bird?

7) ICKY

Aww come on, do you hate me that much?

[Enobarbus]

Re: Did YOU give Jesus the Bird?

Aww come on, do you hate me that much?

No, we don't hate any of these people. This is just a list of those who didn't give the Lord His share of the turkey.

Brother Matt and his wife Jean are True Christian™ friends of ours. But they have, as many of us do, their only little cross to bare. Poor Jean, for example, last time she was at the beach, had GreenPeace mistake her for a whale, rope her up, and try to drag her back into the water and out to sea.

[Crazy Cat Lady]

Re: Did YOU give Jesus the Bird?

Sister Sue, I can assure you that I and all my kitties gave Jesus the bird. In fact I gave him the bird many times over because of sharing all with my kitties. In some cases I even had to flip the bird (to get it away from my kitties of course)

[SUV]

Re: Did YOU give Jesus the Bird?

In some cases I even had to flip the bird (to get it away from my kitties of course)

"Flip the Bird" - to JESUS! Why, what a perfectly lovely gesture!

Hang around, (as He probably would have, if they hadn't Crucified Him instead) get rid of a few dozen of those cats, and we'll make a True Christian™ out of you yet, Ma'am!

[Crazy Cat Lady]

Re: Did YOU give Jesus the Bird?

Why thankyou Sister Sue, that's such a lovely thing to say.
I thought 'flipping the bird' - to Jesus seemed like a wonderfully appropriate gesture of thanks for the teachings of our Savior!

Do you think I really need to give away some of my babies? Where would they go? I'd need to find a good home for them.

[SUV]

Re: Did YOU give Jesus the Bird?

Do you think I really need to give away some of my babies? Where would they go? I'd need to find a good home for them.

I'm afraid so, as all Good Christians know that cats are nothing but Wicked and Sinful. Dogs, on the other hand, although they bark up the neighborhood and try to Marry your leg, are Perfectly acceptable to Christians.

So maybe you could trade some of them in for Dogs? Like maybe the bigger ones might be an even swap for a Chihuahua or toy poodle? (Warning: These are not "True Christian" types of Dogs - but you gotta start somewhere! Much as God did when he screwed in that first big bulb and said, "Let us have some LIGHT in here, Babe!" )

And maybe....maybe....If you Confess Jesus and become $avED, Pastor might even throw in one of his slightly used Dogs as a CHRISTMAS Present!