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This is the place to tell the story of how you were introduced to Jesus and tithing.
My story is difficult to tell. I found Landover Baptist Church during a routine Google search for Baptist churches and it gave me a good laugh. You have to understand that back then Satan had an iron grip on my cojones and wasn't letting go. I was in a bad way. I found the forums and, thinking it would get me favor, I chose a name from the major donors list. I am not a major donor. It was not long before, among a rather strange and unfortunate series of events that I was promoted to True Christian™. Unbeknownst to me, the whole time I was impersonating a True Christian™, I was being monitored by Bobby-Joe, the LBC Security Team, and the Department of Faith who all the while were gathering evidence against me. Several weeks ago, the DOF busted down my door at 3 A.M., shot my dog, and...well that's when the nerve gas kicked in. Long story short, I woke up in a "retraining cell". It is a 3x3x3 cell with the lights on all the time. The only thing in the room besides me is a KJV1611 Bible. Anyway, my "retraining" complete, I am residing in a DOF rehabilitation facility in West Virginia. I am now a saved Baptist, but I suppose this remains to be proven. I'd like to thank the DOF, Pastor Ezekiel, and this church for tolerating me as long as they have. You have enable me to be Saved despite Satan's fierce grip. Thank you.
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