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For some time now, I've been looking into ways of addressing the current epidemic of ungodly emo behaviour among our youth. Well, last week I was confident that I had learned enough to perform my first fully-fledged exorcism of emo demons, and I am delighted to report that the operation was 100% successful! Hallelujah! Praise the Lord!
Matthew 8:28 And when he was come to the other side into the country of the Gergesenes, there met him two possessed with devils, coming out of the tombs, exceeding fierce, so that no man might pass by that way.
29 And, behold, they cried out, saying, What have we to do with thee, Jesus, thou Son of God? art thou come hither to torment us before the time?
30 And there was a good way off from them an herd of many swine feeding.
31 So the devils besought him, saying, If thou cast us out, suffer us to go away into the herd of swine.
32 And he said unto them, Go. And when they were come out, they went into the herd of swine: and, behold, the whole herd of swine ran violently down a steep place into the sea, and perished in the waters.
The results of my exorcism?
A typical emo-demon pig:
Cry me a river, emo pig. That could be someone's son or daughter out there, covered in garish make-up and sores from rubbing up against the bars of their cage in an attempt to appear "groovy" and "funky" to their emo pals, but Jesus outsmarted them demons good! GLORY!
Matthew 8:28 And when he was come to the other side into the country of the Gergesenes, there met him two possessed with devils, coming out of the tombs, exceeding fierce, so that no man might pass by that way.
29 And, behold, they cried out, saying, What have we to do with thee, Jesus, thou Son of God? art thou come hither to torment us before the time?
30 And there was a good way off from them an herd of many swine feeding.
31 So the devils besought him, saying, If thou cast us out, suffer us to go away into the herd of swine.
32 And he said unto them, Go. And when they were come out, they went into the herd of swine: and, behold, the whole herd of swine ran violently down a steep place into the sea, and perished in the waters.
The results of my exorcism?
"At the farms we visited, injuries – such as bite marks and bloody ears – caused by the stressed and bored pigs themselves were commonplace," said Animal Aid's campaigns officer Kate Fowler-Reeves. "Every farm with breeding facilities had pigs injured in this way."
Cry me a river, emo pig. That could be someone's son or daughter out there, covered in garish make-up and sores from rubbing up against the bars of their cage in an attempt to appear "groovy" and "funky" to their emo pals, but Jesus outsmarted them demons good! GLORY!
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