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  • Mistress Cookie
    Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
    True Christian™
    • Jul 2008
    • 6790
    #1

    Dr. Niles: Please help form PAUL WALKER grief group..

    Dearest Dr. Niles:

    I am sorry about that misunderstanding about entering your house and leaving that birthday cake when you weren't there, and all the other stuff, but it is time to put that aside for the Greater Good.

    Can you come over to my house tonight to help plan a Grief Processing Group for we Landover ladies who are devastated by the recent loss of True Christian™ actor Paul Walker?

    I myself am so upset by this whole thing I cannot get out of bed. But I will leave the back door unlocked.

    Bring brandy. I'll show you my special Paul Walker scrapbooks, and if we put our two heads very close together and push through the weekend, we may just be able to knock together a plan that works for everybody.

    Why, Lord™?? WHY??

    PAUL IS DEAD.

    oh god oh god oh god oh god OH GOD ! !

    Tags: None
    • Johny Joe Hold
      Mayor of Freehold
       
      • Feb 2010
      • 12845
      #2
      Re: Dr. Niles: Please help form PAUL WALKER grief group..

      Originally posted by Mistress Cookie View Post
      Dearest Dr. Niles:

      Why, Lord™?? WHY??

      PAUL IS DEAD.

      oh god oh god oh god oh god OH GOD ! !
      I can see you are taking this hard, Mistress Cookie.

      Paul died so that others may live. This attraction many women like yourself had for him was not good for you health. I can almost hear the shortness of breath when you talk of him.

      I hope Dr. Niles will be by soon with the brandy and your grieving process can proceed accordingly.
      Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

        Comment

        • Mistress Cookie
          Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
          True Christian™
          • Jul 2008
          • 6790
          #3
          Re: Dr. Niles: Please help form PAUL WALKER grief group..

          Originally posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
          I can see you are taking this hard, Mistress Cookie....I hope Dr. Niles will be by soon with the brandy and your grieving process can proceed accordingly.
          Oh yes I am very upset, Mayor. in fact please use your mayorial power to make a law that Dr. Laurence must come here to care for me. Maybe every weekend for six months to start. And right away. I am obviously very very upset.

          (I will need new Fast & Furious tapes too. I wore them all out this week, in mourning.)

          OH GOD...why couldn't it have been ME beside him in that crashed car ? ? ?

            Comment

            • Pastor Ezekiel
              Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
               
              • Sep 2006
              • 78556
              #4
              Re: Dr. Niles: Please help form PAUL WALKER grief group..

              You know Miss Cookie, I think you're getting just a little carried away with this obsession over a dead movie star. It's unseemly. Not to mention you are way behind on your filing in the church office. And I do not appreciate all those posters and magazine photos of Paul Walker (often half naked) that you've pinned up all over the walls of your cubicle. Not one bit.
              Who Will Jesus Damn?

              Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

              Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

              Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                Comment

                • Mistress Cookie
                  Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
                  True Christian™
                  • Jul 2008
                  • 6790
                  #5
                  Re: Dr. Niles: Please help form PAUL WALKER grief group..

                  simply can't come in the offices this week, Pastor Zeke. It's just too too soon. None knows what it's like losing th blessed, god-like Brother Walker but the ladies of Landover!

                  Dear God™ in Heaven...WHY ? ?. WHY, I ask You ! ! ?

                  Can't you please perhaps sends Dr. Niles ovr to do weekend intensive with me?

                  It might get the ball rolling faster. and I need more brandies.



                  PS: . don't you dare dare tear up my i said my yes MYY posters an calendars of him over theres. I need with me. Will send Vavoline for em Mondays.

                    Comment

                    • Dr Laurence Niles
                      Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
                       
                      • Jan 2012
                      • 9063
                      #6
                      Re: Dr. Niles: Please help form PAUL WALKER grief group..

                      Originally posted by Mistress Cookie View Post
                      Dearest Dr. Niles:

                      I am sorry about that misunderstanding about entering your house and leaving that birthday cake when you weren't there, and all the other stuff, but it is time to put that aside for the Greater Good.

                      Can you come over to my house tonight to help plan a Grief Processing Group for we Landover ladies who are devastated by the recent loss of True Christian™ actor Paul Walker?

                      I myself am so upset by this whole thing I cannot get out of bed. But I will leave the back door unlocked.

                      Bring brandy. I'll show you my special Paul Walker scrapbooks, and if we put our two heads very close together and push through the weekend, we may just be able to knock together a plan that works for everybody.

                      Why, Lord™?? WHY??

                      PAUL IS DEAD.

                      oh god oh god oh god oh god OH GOD ! !

                      Dear Mistress Cookie, I feel your pain most keenly at the loss the world has suffered in this dark time.

                      Now that my locks have been changed and my windows repaired I feel comfortable to do my best to see you through this difficult time.

                      I must however insist on a thorough DOF probe into the apparently devout Walker boy.

                      If there is ANY hint of anality we will have to re evaluate our position.

                      I'll wait on confirmation that he definity did not have the anal sex before we can knock up a support group.

                      YIC
                      1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

                      Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

                      Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

                        Comment

                        • Faith_Machine
                          Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
                          True Christian™
                          • Mar 2011
                          • 10050
                          #7
                          Re: Dr. Niles: Please help form PAUL WALKER grief group..

                          Mistress Cookie, I too have been inconsolable. However, as I have typed "Oh God, oh God, oh God, why, why, why," I have capitalized "God" every single time.

                          Anyway, I'm very sad about Paul. I've got this bottle of blackberry brandy, and I don't know if I trust myself to not chase it with a bottle of sleeping pills. Maybe I could come over and we could drink it together?

                          I don't mind sharing with Dr. Niles.

                          No sirree, don't mind that at all.

                          Niles and I are like brothers.

                          And brothers share everything.

                          Everything.
                          WARNING:
                          In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                          REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

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