X
 
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • Daisy Mae Johnson
    The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
    Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
    aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 15708

    #1

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Portway

    HAPPY
    BIRTHDAY!






    sigpic

    Tweet me Here
    My GODLY Bio Here
  • Dr Laurence Niles
    Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
     
    • Jan 2012
    • 9063

    #2
    Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Portway

    It's been a long time since we have seen you at church, Brother. We all miss you and hope you have not chosen to engage in the old anal sexualism.

    That would male things awkwards.

    YIC
    1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

    Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

    Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

    Comment

    • Mary Etheldreda
      Gushing for Jesus
       
      • Sep 2011
      • 23775

      #3
      Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Portway

      !A most blessed birthday, Brother! I hope your wife isn't too much of a burden to you today. You're the epitome of True Christian(tm) charity and patience.

      Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

      Comment

      • Dr Laurence Niles
        Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
         
        • Jan 2012
        • 9063

        #4
        Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Portway

        Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
        !A most blessed birthday, Brother! I hope your wife isn't too much of a burden to you today. You're the epitome of True Christian™ charity and patience.

        I had completly forgotten about Naomi, or what ever she is called. I thought she might be dead and eaten by pigs.

        YIC
        1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

        Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

        Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

        Comment

        • Mary Etheldreda
          Gushing for Jesus
           
          • Sep 2011
          • 23775

          #5
          Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Portway

          Originally posted by Dr Laurence Niles View Post
          I had completly forgotten about Naomi, or what ever she is called. I thought she might be dead and eaten by pigs.

          YIC
          Sounds like something that would happen to her.


          Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

          Comment

          • Dr Laurence Niles
            Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
             
            • Jan 2012
            • 9063

            #6
            Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Portway

            Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
            Sounds like something that would happen to her.


            It has been a few years since she last posted. She must be nearly 17 by now. I never did find out why that beast boy she birthed (such a disapointment to the Good Captain) chose to be a deformed retarted.

            That girl has a lot to answer for.

            YIC
            1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

            Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

            Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

            Comment

            • Esther B.
              Forum Member
              Forum Member
              • Sep 2012
              • 575

              #7
              Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Brother Portway

              Happy Belated Birthday!
              And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
              Deuteronomy 6.5

              Comment

              Working...