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  • Mary Etheldreda
    Gushing for Jesus
     
    • Sep 2011
    • 23775
    #1

    6 Feelings True Christians™ Can Relate To

    When you open the Bible and find just the right verse that proves God wrote the Holy Bible as a Love Letter just for you.







    When your prayer cancels out the prayer of a false Christian.







    When your pastor announces a new Bible Study.







    When you're being persecuted for refusing to hide your love for Jesus.







    When a homersexual crosses your path.







    When your husband loves you enough to keep you on the spiritually straight and narrow.

    Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

    Tags: None
    • Alvin Moss
      Serving Jesus
      True Christian™
      • Aug 2013
      • 4468
      #2
      Re: 6 Feelings True Christians™ Can Relate To

      Sister, though we men assume the leadership and teaching roles, it is refreshing and informative to hear such testimony from a feminine point of view.
      God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11

        Comment

        • Daisy Mae Johnson
          The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
          Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
          aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
          True Christian™
          • Sep 2006
          • 15708
          #3
          Re: 6 Feelings True Christians™ Can Relate To

          How we feel when we start being Raptured away.



          Awwwwh yeah!

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            • Virginia Day Templeton
              Christ's Battle Axe
               
              • Dec 2006
              • 2827
              #4
              Re: 6 Feelings True Christians™ Can Relate To

              When you get the winning bid on a rare Kinkade




              When someone asks you the last time you talked to a black person

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              When someone mentions the death toll in Syria




              When another state bans "gay marriage"




              When you walk into Wal-Mart in a Chimp Obama t-shirt




              When Shrillary loses in 2016




              When we finally get Raptured

              sigpic

                Comment

                • Jedediah
                  True Christian™ Creation Scientist
                  Fisher of Men
                  True Christian™
                  • Feb 2010
                  • 6824
                  #5
                  Re: 6 Feelings True Christians™ Can Relate To

                  Don't care; In Heaven, pressed against Father Abraham's bosom:

                  Luke 16:23-26
                  and in hell he lift up his eyes, being in torments, and seeth Abraham afar off, and Lazarus in his bosom.
                  And he cried and said, Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus, that he may dip the tip of his finger in water, and cool my tongue; for I am tormented in this flame.
                  But Abraham said, Son, remember that thou in thy lifetime receivedst thy good things, and likewise Lazarus evil things: but now he is comforted, and thou art tormented.
                  And beside all this, between us and you there is a great gulf fixed: so that they which would pass from hence to you cannot; neither can they pass to us, that would come from thence.



                  My reaction when an unsaved trash questions my deeply cherished beliefs:


                  Watching Middle East coverage on Fox News:


                  "Those times when there were only one set of footsteps in the sand...":
                  II Thessalonians 1:7-9
                  And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
                  In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
                  Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power
                  The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. -R.J. Rushdoony

                    Comment

                    • Virginia Day Templeton
                      Christ's Battle Axe
                       
                      • Dec 2006
                      • 2827
                      #6
                      Re: 6 Feelings True Christians™ Can Relate To

                      When you let Jesus Christ into your life

                      sigpic

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                        • Pastor Isaac Peters
                          Senior Pastor
                          Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™
                          Always Biblically correct
                          True Christian™
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 10639
                          #7
                          Re: 6 Feelings True Christians™ Can Relate To

                          When you're in Heaven, watching Catholics, homosexuals, dotheads who never heard of Jesus while they were alive, and other sinners bob up and down in the lake of fire for all eternity:

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                          This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

                          Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance

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                            • Daisy Mae Johnson
                              The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
                              Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
                              aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
                              True Christian™
                              • Sep 2006
                              • 15708
                              #8
                              Re: 6 Feelings True Christians™ Can Relate To

                              What I think when I see filthy, dirty illegal methicants.




                              Us in HEAVEN looking down at the sinners in .



                              What I want to do to unruly, back-sassing kids.



                              What Adam would have done with the apple in the Garden of Eden



                              How the Pastors feel when they count the $$ in the Tithe Box on Sundays

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                              Tweet me Here
                              My GODLY Bio Here

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