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  • iAidiot
    Confirmed Enemy of God
    BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
    • Jul 2008
    • 10
    #1

    My Apologies To You...

    Dear Landover Baptist Church.

    I wish to apologies for my stupid satanic behaviour, it was completely wrong and out of order, and i believe that if i keep going this course i will be heading straight for hell. I wish to make a fresh start knowing my sins and confessing them to you, i wish to learn the ways of the light truley with your help...if you will accept my apology.
    Tags: None
    • Deaner
      Christ's Love Messenger
      True Christian™
      • Sep 2006
      • 5932
      #2
      Re: My Apologies To You...

      Originally posted by iAidiot View Post
      Dear Landover Baptist Church.

      I wish to apologies for my stupid satanic behaviour, it was completely wrong and out of order, and i believe that if i keep going this course i will be heading straight for hell. I wish to make a fresh start knowing my sins and confessing them to you, i wish to learn the ways of the light truley with your help...if you will accept my apology.
      That was very contrite sinner, but you forgot to apologize to Baby Jesus. Post an apology to your Saviour and we'll allow you to pick a more appropriate avatar and username. You will however remain as unsaved trash until the DOF has completed their investigation.

        Comment

        • iAidiot
          Confirmed Enemy of God
          BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
          • Jul 2008
          • 10
          #3
          Re: My Apologies To You...

          You are completly right, i apologies to you jesus, and hope you will forgive me and let me into the light

            Comment

            • Deaner
              Christ's Love Messenger
              True Christian™
              • Sep 2006
              • 5932
              #4
              Re: My Apologies To You...

              Originally posted by iAidiot View Post
              You are completly right, i apologies to you jesus, and hope you will forgive me and let me into the light
              That sucked. Give it another shot and this time I want you to really feel your worthlessness and depravity. Start with "Dear Baby Jesus..."

                Comment

                • Brother Temperance
                  Senior Usher
                  True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
                  A very nice young man
                  True Christian™
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 15621
                  #5
                  Re: My Apologies To You...

                  Originally posted by Deaner View Post
                  That sucked. Give it another shot and this time I want you to really feel your worthlessness and depravity. Start with "Dear Baby Jesus..."
                  And have the decency to capitalise the name of Our Lord and Saviour, for His Sake!
                  O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                  God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

                    Comment

                    • Pastor Ezekiel
                      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                       
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 78556
                      #6
                      Re: My Apologies To You...

                      I have a feeling that this austrian homer is being less than sincere in his apologies.
                      Who Will Jesus Damn?

                      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                        Comment

                        • Don the Baptist
                          True Christian™
                          True Christian™
                          • Mar 2008
                          • 480
                          #7
                          Re: My Apologies To You...

                          Originally posted by iAidiot View Post
                          You are completly right, i apologies to you jesus, and hope you will forgive me and let me into the light
                          I'm sure that even in austria they capitalize the name Jesus do they not? What's next - might you peradventure refer to Him as "bubba", "buddy" or just "hey pal". Let's try to maintain some degree of respect (not to mention proper grammar) on God's forum. We are just trying to share the love of Christ with you, don't take it personally.
                          Isaiah 36.12 - But Rabshakeh said, Hath my master sent me to thy master and to thee to speak these words? hath he not sent me to the men that sit upon the wall, that they may eat their own dung, and drink their own piss with you?

                            Comment

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